Venting Ever feel so angry that you lose yourself?

[struggles_inc]

The title says it.
I've been going through multiple disappointments with people and today was another one. I guess people really like embarrassing themselves in the worst way possible huh.

First few times I would feel heartbroken and cry. Now I am just so furious and frustrated it is slowly consuming me.

Recovery feels impossible when you either want to ctb or want to fucking choke a bitch.
I hate how my anger hurt me from inside but it's like there's no way to put it out.

 

[R_N]

I understand anger perfectly as I dealt with it a lot as younger. For me having a punching bag helped somewhat. But my knuckles were getting bloody even with wraps and gloves on.

My emotions calmed a lot as years passed by so I don't need outlets anymore.

I can still empathise because excessive emotions can be unbearable to deal with especially when you are unable to turn your thoughts off or distract yourself adequately.

 

[TheDevilsAngel]

When I get angry I can barely control myself these days, everything creeps up on me and I snap. Life is so hard .....

 

[struggles_inc]

Instead it seemed that they wanted me to tell them what they wanted to hear in order to diffuse the situation or pacify them. Now to spare myself the headache and heartache, if there's no room for compromise, I just distance myself or cut them off

So true. I just stopped talking to people, trying to work things out, etc. When they upset me, that's it. I have no energy for those theatrics and my own emotions wear me out.
Because I've been so angry, now I'm completely numb, which is better, but not too much.

Idk how recovery is supposed to work when others trip you halfway through.

 

[FallenfromGrace]

Yes. Precisely exactly how you worded it. Everything annoys me and when I get mad, I get MAD. I constantly want to kill myself or smack someone all the way to hell. Fuck. It's good stuff

 

[divinemistress36]

Anger is the strongest emotion I deal with . I have to constantly put myself in time out I hate it since I use to be easygoing. Everything sets me off easy

 

[Dliena]

Yes but I've already lost my true self a long long time ago. Now I'm just a husk.

 

[Unattainable666]

I often disassociate from myself. I actually disconnect. It's as if I'm watching someone else go through the hell of living. This occurs all the time not just when I'm angry. I think I do it because there are times when I just can't handle what is going on in my shit show life and to make it through disassociation kicks in.

 

[TheSpookyNameGuy]

Yea it's why my house looks like no one lives there, i took my large camping axes and destroyed a good chunk of my shit and walls, lights and doors.

Hey, i can't control it. At least i haven't smashed my windows in any case.