Contraband
Incompatible Software
- May 26, 2024
- 46
so i've been taking lexapro for 3 weeks now. i've noticed that i'm more than ever thinking about my death, but now in a calculated and organized way. there is nothing impulsive about it, and i think as an effect of the anxiety relief, i don't feel fearful of my death. i haven't slept much since i started.
"normal" people would likely say this is because of declining mental health, sleep deprivation, and spending more time on this website. there may an element of truth to that but that doesn't dismiss the way i feel. it's a massive relief feeling so determined and calm about it, but it's equally tragic. i'm fine with this outcome but part of me wishes that i could have this effect but with rebuilding my life. but i'm fine with this outcome.
social isolation and the unbearable weight of life, paired with how far i've allowed my life to collapse makes me feel like this will be an ideal choice.
is this unhinged? maybe.
"normal" people would likely say this is because of declining mental health, sleep deprivation, and spending more time on this website. there may an element of truth to that but that doesn't dismiss the way i feel. it's a massive relief feeling so determined and calm about it, but it's equally tragic. i'm fine with this outcome but part of me wishes that i could have this effect but with rebuilding my life. but i'm fine with this outcome.
social isolation and the unbearable weight of life, paired with how far i've allowed my life to collapse makes me feel like this will be an ideal choice.
is this unhinged? maybe.