epic fail getting stuff, so embarrassed

[barny]

so my plan was to od on opiates, but its been delayed because stupid bitcoin thing takes a week to clear so you can buy stuff.
so went to this park where all the drug dealers hang out thinking I could get some quicker.. this group were blatently dealing drugs and smoking weed, so it took me 2 hours of sitting there to work up the courage to go ask them for some heroin. they said they didn't know where I could get any, and they looked at me like I was scum, it was soo embarrassing now I feel awful. I then nearly crashed my car by accident. why is it so hard ?! im meant to be going on holiday In a day, and all I can think about is CTB'ing, what am I meant to do?

 

[Severen]

Maybe they thought you were a narc?

 

[Soul]

I'm sorry! You convey the scene with the dealers so eloquently - uggh how dreadful! Anyone would be in shreds after something like that. (((Hugs)))

For the "what to do" part, it seems you're supposed to wait a little for the bitcoin, and go on holiday in the meantime? Where are you going? Will that be a good thing for you?

I'm sorry. You were ultra brave. Now please be very gentle with yourself. You deserve it. (((More hugs)))

 

[weonaestupida]

o

Maybe they thought you were a narc?

or a cop

 

[LogicalConclusion]

My first thought is the same as others' here, that they may have thought you were a cop

 

[Kokobushi_bae26]

o

or a cop

A narc is a cop *not trying to be an ass hole, just letting you know <3

 

[Severen]

The OP needs to get to know the right people, become friends with them to prove he isn't a narc.

 

[laila888]

so my plan was to od on opiates, but its been delayed because stupid bitcoin thing takes a week to clear so you can buy stuff.
so went to this park where all the drug dealers hang out thinking I could get some quicker.. this group were blatently dealing drugs and smoking weed, so it took me 2 hours of sitting there to work up the courage to go ask them for some heroin. they said they didn't know where I could get any, and they looked at me like I was scum, it was soo embarrassing now I feel awful. I then nearly crashed my car by accident. why is it so hard ?! im meant to be going on holiday In a day, and all I can think about is CTB'ing, what am I meant to do?

If they noticed you sitting there for 2 hours, they probably thought you were a cop. Usually customers just go up to them then leave ASAP.

 

[Severen]

If they noticed you sitting there for 2 hours, they probably thought you were a cop. Usually customers just go up to them then leave ASAP.

Yeah, that too because they probably don't know what it is like to have hardcore social anxiety so they thought he was behaving in a strange way.

 

[barny]

The OP needs to get to know the right people, become friends with them to prove he isn't a narc.

I dont have any friends, and cant cope with talking to anyone, so how am I meant to become friends with them.

I'm sorry! You convey the scene with the dealers so eloquently - uggh how dreadful! Anyone would be in shreds after something like that. (((Hugs)))

For the "what to do" part, it seems you're supposed to wait a little for the bitcoin, and go on holiday in the meantime? Where are you going? Will that be a good thing for you?

I'm sorry. You were ultra brave. Now please be very gentle with yourself. You deserve it. (((More hugs)))

thank you. I just cant enjoy anything at the moment, but I waste £1000 if I dont go, but then whats the point if I cant talk to people.

 

[inconsequential]

I agree with everyone else here— dealers are notoriously sketched out by people who have autistic or social anxiety behaviors, because those same "nervous" behaviors are those a cop/12 would have. Especially a rookie, who they'd send to do that kinda shit.

Choose a junkie. Befriend them. Do it online, even. That's how I got some of my old connects. Do you use social media at all, perhaps under a false name? Dealers don't give a shit what your name is.

 

[Severen]

I dont have any friends, and cant cope with talking to anyone, so how am I meant to become friends with them.

Are you taking any medication for your social anxiety? You can become friends with co workers while working shitty jobs and have them introduce you to their friends who sell that kind of stuff.