I recently read an article about a form of therapy aimed at getting people over various anxieties by reframing fear as excitement and eager anticipation. "I'm really looking forward to having that bag over my head!"
It's amusing to come up with silly-sounding affirmations like that but I'm not making fun of the idea; I see how it could really help, since fear and excitement are such similar sensations.
I have mixed feelings about reframing my preparations as a heroic saga. The appeal of that is great, but personally I feel a need to keep a tight grip on the reality that I'm preparing to kill myself.
@Summerhappyness, please make very sure that suicide is the right choice for you. Sometimes making the preparations are enough to help make life more bearable for a while, and taking that path can be an epic saga too. Either way, be good to yourself x