Venting Enough Already!!!

[samicitchka]

Sorry but I need to vent. For the last 15 years of my life I have wanted to CTB. I've tried on numerous occasions and failed. I was found by my husband on two occasions landing me in the psych ward both times.

I have tried working with therapist after therapist and all they do is prescribe to me and I am so sick and tired of taking all this shit. At the end of the day it does nothing.

My partner of 16 years walked out on me 2 weeks before Xmas last year with zero explanation - then this week I got blindsided with being served separation papers while he slinked off the visit a friend for a few weeks on the other side of the country.

On top of this he left when right after I was diagnosed with stage two uterine cancer. He left me to struggle financially and to care for our dogs alone. He has shown little to no support. I also recently lost my job due to my physical and mental health.

I wake up everyday wanting to not be here. I just want to be at peace. I have no friends or family - I am all alone and I am exhausted and tired of fighting. I'm 43 years old now and this is not the life I ever wanted for myself and I am just done.

I have decided F is my desired CTB method but finding it in T.O has proved to be harder then expected. I just wanna dose and be done with it all. I am just so so tired

Sorry for the rang but it's too much to hold in some days.

 

[thepiecessatup]

Sorry but I need to vent. For the last 15 years of my life I have wanted to CTB. I've tried on numerous occasions and failed. I was found by my husband on two occasions landing me in the psych ward both times.

I have tried working with therapist after therapist and all they do is prescribe to me and I am so sick and tired of taking all this shit. At the end of the day it does nothing.

My partner of 16 years walked out on me 2 weeks before Xmas last year with zero explanation - then this week I got blindsided with being served separation papers while he slinked off the visit a friend for a few weeks on the other side of the country.

On top of this he left when right after I was diagnosed with stage two uterine cancer. He left me to struggle financially and to care for our dogs alone. He has shown little to no support. I also recently lost my job due to my physical and mental health.

I wake up everyday wanting to not be here. I just want to be at peace. I have no friends or family - I am all alone and I am exhausted and tired of fighting. I'm 43 years old now and this is not the life I ever wanted for myself and I am just done.

I have decided F is my desired CTB method but finding it in T.O has proved to be harder then expected. I just wanna dose and be done with it all. I am just so so tired

Sorry for the rang but it's too much to hold in some days.

So sorry you are going through all of this. PM if you like.

 

[FuneralCry]

It sounds like you've suffered a lot and I understand why you'd feel so tired, I wish suicide is as straightforward as just choosing to never wake again. But anyway best wishes, I hope that you eventually find the peace you search for.

 

[lizzywizzy09]

I'm so sorry, love. You don't deserve this pain. None of us do. My inbox is always open.

 

[samicitchka]

So sorry you are going through all of this. PM if you like.

Absolutely, could use someone to can't with

I'm so sorry, love. You don't deserve this pain. None of us do. My inbox is always open.

Thank you. Just feel so judge by everyone around me. Just need a safe place that isn't some therapist telling me to relax and breathe

I'm so sorry, love. You don't deserve this pain. None of us do. My inbox is always open.

Thank you. Just feel so judge by everyone around me. Just need a safe place that isn't some therapist telling me to relax and breathe