Enmeshment, Trauma Bond, How the hell do I rip off this bandaid? (Might delete later)

[Water-Lily]

I'm currently back on campus after choosing to stay at home for nearly a week

I've spent time hanging out but mostly being around my dad

Our relationship isn't healthy. Theres a part of me that cares about him (and I believe he does me) but there are elements that conflict

Especially when I think about how hurtful he was towards my roomate (me minimizing like an idiot)

I need to rip off this bandaid and cut all contact with him for good

But I can't. I still rely on him financially and even emotionally, even if I shouldn't emotionally

I go back and forth mentally all the time

I am jealous of those who are currently no contact with their families

I wish I was them rn

(Might delete later)

 

[Lulzacruel]

get your financials solved and do not worry about emotion till you get that sorted out

i really hope everything goes well for you

 

[Water-Lily]

get your financials solved and do not worry about emotion till you get that sorted out

i really hope everything goes well for you

For now I am still dependent on him financially. He actively cares for me and my dick wad brother (different situations I will not be answering questions about so please don't ask). My father actually put aside money for both of us in a bank. It's in his name in another account atm (though I can always take my share as I have my own bank). He said he wants to ensure we are financially taken care of when he is unable to work down the line (we don't have anyone else to depend on financially)

I'm in school now to be a social worker in 2 years. This is so I can find a stable career and effectively start being independent

 

[Lulzacruel]

I'm in school now to be a social worker in 2 years. This is so I can find a stable career and effectively start being independent

Good for you. Hopefully You can achieve this goal after these 2 years

 

[Water-Lily]

Good for you. Hopefully You can achieve this goal after these 2 years

I feel until I go no contact I will never be satisfied