Help Enduring a dysfunctional home

[ClockWorks]

I want to try living my life and seeing how far I can get before I ever consider CTB again.

But man, living in my home isn't helping at all with my recovery. I've grown self-sufficient enough to manage myself, I have goals, I have a plan, but after every high ends up with me relapsing back into a worse state than I was last time. I grew up with two immature parents who were never supportive and if they weren't neglectful they were emotionally and verbally abusive, I still thinks in a damn miracle I turned out half as well as I did. But even then, I missed out being a kid and just growing up. I lost chances in my academics and my future to them.

I went through multiple therapists and juggled around CPS for years but never ended up anywhere because they were so focused on improving our relationship despite how much I was betrayed. These days it getting incredibly bad for me. I work and I end up breaking down crying for the mess my life has become.

There is nowhere else for me to go so I'm still living with them, but I want to endure through it and make it out, but I barely know how to.

 

[refused]

Damn friend. I don't know if this means anything, but all of my heroes in life endured hell before becoming the pillars of history. That keeps me going most days. It also sounds like you've learned a lot, endured a lot. And you're here today posting about it. Life is hard sometimes, but things can get better.

I'm in my mid-30s and still looking for happiness myself. It can be quite the journey and I'd say the earlier you start thinking through what you've come from, and where you want to go... the better off you are. So good on you for working through it despite the hellish level of difficulty currently involved.

 

[just_a_guy]

I think the fact that you're still holding on, trying, and you have hope shows that you're resilient and strong. Your parents are temporary fixtures in your life, you are permanent so keep being strong and find ways to connect with people that have a positive impact in your life. One day you'll look back on where you came from and you'll be proud of yourself