BrokenHopes

BrokenHopes

What doesn't kill you, f*cks you up.
Nov 27, 2019
162
I went all in to this recovery thing. Have even enjoyed it at times.
The progress over the years.
Wow. How awesome.
Being able to go to the store without huge distress, participate in some smalltalk, getting rutines in order, etc.
Now it hits me. Wtf?!
This is it? Working hard all my life for things most people take for granted. Nah, I just dont know.
So I quit for a week. Have just been slacking. Cancelling appointments. Ordering junk food. Sinking further into my own created anxiety bubble.
The progress seems to be gone *snapping fingers* just like that.
Wow. I'm amazed yet again.
As they say: it takes 9 months for a life to be created but only a second for it to be taken out.



 
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BeansOfRequirement

BeansOfRequirement

Behind the guilt was compassion
Jan 26, 2021
5,747
This entire thinking is based on logical fallacies. It's not really emotional or psychological at first, sure it turns into that shit later on but when we first start thinking in this way at age five (?) it's basically a giant error in reasoning. It's tough to get rid of comparative thinking but easy to understand why it doesn't make sense in the first place. Different people are different. You have a different set of genetics and a different, personal environment from cradle to grave. That is why our results vary, this is why we make different choices.

Once accepted it's only a matter of having the necessary mindfulness to recognize our logical error clearly as it is being generated.
 
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BrokenHopes

BrokenHopes

What doesn't kill you, f*cks you up.
Nov 27, 2019
162
This entire thinking is based on logical fallacies. It's not really emotional or psychological at first, sure it turns into that shit later on but when we first start thinking in this way at age five (?) it's basically a giant error in reasoning. It's tough to get rid of comparative thinking but easy to understand why it doesn't make sense in the first place. Different people are different. You have a different set of genetics and a different, personal environment from cradle to grave. That is why our results vary, this is why we make different choices.

Once accepted it's only a matter of having the necessary mindfulness to recognize our logical error clearly as it is being generated.

Yeah I get what you say. I do not necessarily feel like less of a person compared to others.
I just wanna be able to go to the store without having to put in endless work on myself. It is just that simple.
 
BeansOfRequirement

BeansOfRequirement

Behind the guilt was compassion
Jan 26, 2021
5,747
Yeah I get what you say. I do not necessarily feel like less of a person compared to others.
I just wanna be able to go to the store without having to put in endless work on myself. It is just that simple.
That's another misstep in reasoning and it's related to assuming that you are a part of the majority in certain ways. Or just a classical case of wanting something that isn't going to happen. I have a lot of that, myself. Our minds will use the cattle prod at any change they get.
 
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BrokenHopes

BrokenHopes

What doesn't kill you, f*cks you up.
Nov 27, 2019
162
That's another misstep in reasoning and it's related to assuming that you are a part of the majority in certain ways. Or just a classical case of wanting something that isn't going to happen. I have a lot of that, myself. Our minds will use the cattle prod at any change they get.
So you are basically saying to accept having to put in endless work just to be able to handle the basics? Other option being offing myself.
 
BeansOfRequirement

BeansOfRequirement

Behind the guilt was compassion
Jan 26, 2021
5,747
So you are basically saying to accept having to put in endless work just to be able to handle the basics? Other option being offing myself.
We have to accept reality, yes (well, this could be argued against). The work needed is not "endless" and handling the "basics" may not be a matter of "just" for you.
 
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Someonewhotypes

Member
Feb 15, 2021
49
I think after a while of doing "n" thing sufficient times, it becomes merely a habit. It's like with other things in life, playing some instrument, or doing sports, it doesn't come easily from the start, requires practice, but you eventually get to a point where you manage to do it easily.

I know it might not be the same for everyone but for me it has been that way. I used to burst into tears if I just had to call someone on the phone, thinking what if I don't hear them well, what if they ask something I don't know the answer to? But after I started handling phone calls at work, doing that daily desensitized me. So i came to think nothing of it nowadays.

Maybe it will become easier for you to do the things you want to achieve too, if you keep doing them for a longer while. You already said you made progress, so your efforts were successful.

Keep trying and one day you'll easily do those things!
 
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