Lara Francis

Lara Francis

Enlightened
Jun 30, 2018
1,627
I wish that i could see beyond 2 feet in front of me but the truth is that i feel so lost and tired of this very sad exsistence ,i just want to fade away.
I am so tired of people telling me to stay strong and things will get better !
The best one is "you have to help yourself !"
This is so much bullshit and it really doesent wash with me anymore.
My son asked me to take some pictures of his father and him so i have sat here crying as i put some together.
Why does it have to be so f hard,i have spent some parts of christmas and new year so pissed just to distance myself from reality.
I miss my husband and my son so much.i am nothing without my boy and life is just too hard.
Sorry for the crap that ive just said.
I wish i could respect myself and feel my life is valuable if not only for the sake of my boy.
I hate this state of depression and it feels like i am drowning.i dont know who i am or what happiness entails.
I wish that i was never born !
Thanks for allowing me to vent.x
 
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Flume

Flume

Villain
Oct 28, 2019
300
You could really use a nice warm hug friend :hug:
 
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6ixxy

6ixxy

I sank so she could swim
Apr 26, 2019
273
I am so tired of people telling me to stay strong and things will get better !
The best one is "you have to help yourself !"
This is so much bullshit and it really doesent wash with me anymore.
This. I whole heartedly HATE this 'saying' of you have to help yourself.
I get others want us to carry on living whether it's happy or in a miserable existence but in reality it's extremely selfish to even consider saying this imo. Some of us don't want help, we just want to be at rest from whatever demons we face every single day.

On the other hand I hope you're coping okay, you got this.
 
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Lara Francis

Lara Francis

Enlightened
Jun 30, 2018
1,627
This. I whole heartedly HATE this 'saying' of you have to help yourself.
I get others want us to carry on living whether it's happy or in a miserable existence but in reality it's extremely selfish to even consider saying this imo. Some of us don't want help, we just want to be at rest from whatever demons we face every single day.

On the other hand I hope you're coping okay, you got this.
I totally agree x
 
M

Mloureiro

Student
Oct 7, 2019
128
I wish that i could see beyond 2 feet in front of me but the truth is that i feel so lost and tired of this very sad exsistence ,i just want to fade away.
I am so tired of people telling me to stay strong and things will get better !
The best one is "you have to help yourself !"
This is so much bullshit and it really doesent wash with me anymore.
My son asked me to take some pictures of his father and him so i have sat here crying as i put some together.
Why does it have to be so f hard,i have spent some parts of christmas and new year so pissed just to distance myself from reality.
I miss my husband and my son so much.i am nothing without my boy and life is just too hard.
Sorry for the crap that ive just said.
I wish i could respect myself and feel my life is valuable if not only for the sake of my boy.
I hate this state of depression and it feels like i am drowning.i dont know who i am or what happiness entails.
I wish that i was never born !
Thanks for allowing me to vent.x


Exactly how I feel. Even thinking of using my SN tonight....
 
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I

imagineit

Member
Jan 1, 2020
55
I am sorry to read about your pain. We can tell you are a strong individual at heart, and often times people use language that may seem patronizing or disrespectful. Sometimes it is hard to find the right things to say, and even with positive intent, they default to tired expressions and cliches that seem disingenuous. I think it is also worth reminding that when we look to things that keep us here, maybe therein lies the answer for enduring. For a time at least. If you can find a reason to live for tomorrow, who knows what tomorrow could provide you. This just makes sense to me, even though I do not live this way. Maybe that is wrong. Everyone has their own path in life, and for some hardship and negative experience is all they know so saying things like this doesn't mean anything. I'm sorry for that and I am sorry that you have to experience your own pain.
 
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Lara Francis

Lara Francis

Enlightened
Jun 30, 2018
1,627
I am sorry to read about your pain. We can tell you are a strong individual at heart, and often times people use language that may seem patronizing or disrespectful. Sometimes it is hard to find the right things to say, and even with positive intent, they default to tired expressions and cliches that seem disingenuous. I think it is also worth reminding that when we look to things that keep us here, maybe therein lies the answer for enduring. For a time at least. If you can find a reason to live for tomorrow, who knows what tomorrow could provide you. This just makes sense to me, even though I do not live this way. Maybe that is wrong. Everyone has their own path in life, and for some hardship and negative experience is all they know so saying things like this doesn't mean anything. I'm sorry for that and I am sorry that you have to experience your own pain.
Thanku for your kind message x
 
Soul

Soul

gate gate paragate parasamgate bodhi svaha
Apr 12, 2019
4,704
Ohh my beautiful @Lara Francis - let me wrap my coat around you and keep you safe a while. I'm so sorry you're struggling with so much pain (((Hugs)))
 
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Lara Francis

Lara Francis

Enlightened
Jun 30, 2018
1,627
Ohh my beautiful @Lara Francis - let me wrap my coat around you and keep you safe a while. I'm so sorry you're struggling with so much pain (((Hugs)))
Thankyou
Lots of love to you soul, I hope you are OK x
 

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