Venting Ended a LONG term friendship today..

[bridgegirl]

So, things with my best friend and I have been rocky for a long time. She's very inconsiderate and selfish, that's all I'll say about that.

Anyway, when I first told her that I wanted to ctb, she ignored me. This lasted until we got together a few weeks later to hang out. I brought it up again, because I couldn't believe that she didn't care, and she claimed she hadn't known what I was talking about (yeah okay) and then we had a really long conversation about my depression and those thoughts. I thought it went well.

But she hasn't checked in on me for two months. I haven't heard from her at all. It's pretty shitty to confide in someone and then they just kinda ignore you afterward.

And then. I woke up to discover that she posted pics of my location. The spot that calls to me so much, that haunts me. The place where I had a failed ctb attempt not long ago. She has said she "hates" that spot, and that it's creepy and she doesn't like seeing it. And yet she went out there for funsies just out of the blue and took pictures and plastered them where I would see them? Not all that long after being told "This is where I will jump"?

Fuck. You.

It was the last straw for me. I ended the friendship. Now I really am alone and friendless. I guess it's just as well, soon it won't fucking matter anyway. But it's really sent me spinning. I'm so depressed, just, why would she do this? She knows.

 

[MiMif]

Fake friends suck

 

[MatrixPrisoner]

What a useless beeotch. Eff her. She's nothing but a psychopath.

 

[WeirdTheaterKid02]

So, things with my best friend and I have been rocky for a long time. She's very inconsiderate and selfish, that's all I'll say about that.

Anyway, when I first told her that I wanted to ctb, she ignored me. This lasted until we got together a few weeks later to hang out. I brought it up again, because I couldn't believe that she didn't care, and she claimed she hadn't known what I was talking about (yeah okay) and then we had a really long conversation about my depression and those thoughts. I thought it went well.

But she hasn't checked in on me for two months. I haven't heard from her at all. It's pretty shitty to confide in someone and then they just kinda ignore you afterward.

And then. I woke up to discover that she posted pics of my location. The spot that calls to me so much, that haunts me. The place where I had a failed ctb attempt not long ago. She has said she "hates" that spot, and that it's creepy and she doesn't like seeing it. And yet she went out there for funsies just out of the blue and took pictures and plastered them where I would see them? Not all that long after being told "This is where I will jump"?

Fuck. You.

It was the last straw for me. I ended the friendship. Now I really am alone and friendless. I guess it's just as well, soon it won't fucking matter anyway. But it's really sent me spinning. I'm so depressed, just, why would she do this? She knows.

That's seriously so aweful. Currently I'm feeling similarly with someone but I have not gained the strength to cut him off yet. I have know him for five years and it's been nothing but empty words out of his mouth. I come to find HES telling all his friends how shit I « make him feel » and practically victimizing himself. I was there for him through every relationship he's gone through, every rough spot with his family. All of it. But all over text. I did so much. Wrote so many emotional, well written paragraphs to help him through his own suicidal thoughts. In five years I havnt seen him in person once despite the fact that I've planned so many days that he said he could go, only to bail last minute every. Single. Time. And yet he would be the one to convince me that I WASNT PUTTING IN ENOUGH EFFORT. I got so pissed off this most recent time and he completely blew off my feelings. Then I heard from one of his exes that he's been spreading lies about me about how shit of a friend I always was. I know he's the one that is the bad friend but I'm still grieving the loss of the person I thought he was. Buying shrooms from him and then completely dropping him

 

[MiMif]

I went through a kinda similar but at the same 5ime not similar type of situation. I was feeling super depressed and spoke to my friends about it because I'm the therapist friend and they always tell me their problems and mental issues.

I told them I haven't been able to keep up with school because of depression and blah blah and they told me I was a faker and was faking it. Yeah long story short I didn't really bring it up again. I also had a really awful birthday (I had finals on my bday and my pet also died on my bday) I told them about it and they laughed at me.....I'm still friends with them but not friends with them.

I don't mind dy hem not caring about me because I'm only with them to feel.more normal (hard to explain) so I don't care too much but it still didn't feel good...actually I used to treasure my friendship with them before an incident happened and I realized they didn't give a crap about me

 

[DyingToDie123]

Yikes! I think you're doing the right thing, but I'm sure it hurts. Sorry you're going through this.

 

[a_carbon_based_life]

I'm so sorry this happened to you, I also lost my best friend after realizing that she knew all along and was actively avoiding me because of it. It seems unfortunately common. At very least you got to finally take out the trash

I'm so sorry this happened to you, I also lost my best friend after realizing that she knew all along and was actively avoiding me because of it. It seems unfortunately common. At very least you got to finally take out the trash

Maybe that wasn't the nicest way to phrase it I guess I mean that I think a lot of people on here understand your pain and I'm glad that you care enough about yourself to protect yourself and do what's best for you even when it's hard

 

[bridgegirl]

That's seriously so aweful. Currently I'm feeling similarly with someone but I have not gained the strength to cut him off yet. I have know him for five years and it's been nothing but empty words out of his mouth. I come to find HES telling all his friends how shit I « make him feel » and practically victimizing himself. I was there for him through every relationship he's gone through, every rough spot with his family. All of it. But all over text. I did so much. Wrote so many emotional, well written paragraphs to help him through his own suicidal thoughts. In five years I havnt seen him in person once despite the fact that I've planned so many days that he said he could go, only to bail last minute every. Single. Time. And yet he would be the one to convince me that I WASNT PUTTING IN ENOUGH EFFORT. I got so pissed off this most recent time and he completely blew off my feelings. Then I heard from one of his exes that he's been spreading lies about me about how shit of a friend I always was. I know he's the one that is the bad friend but I'm still grieving the loss of the person I thought he was. Buying shrooms from him and then completely dropping him

It's super hard to end a friendship, even a shitty one like we had. I hope you cut him off soon, he sounds like a real drain on you. For me, I can't be drained anymore, I have nothing left to give. So she had to go.

I went through a kinda similar but at the same 5ime not similar type of situation. I was feeling super depressed and spoke to my friends about it because I'm the therapist friend and they always tell me their problems and mental issues.

I told them I haven't been able to keep up with school because of depression and blah blah and they told me I was a faker and was faking it. Yeah long story short I didn't really bring it up again. I also had a really awful birthday (I had finals on my bday and my pet also died on my bday) I told them about it and they laughed at me.....I'm still friends with them but not friends with them.

I don't mind dy hem not caring about me because I'm only with them to feel.more normal (hard to explain) so I don't care too much but it still didn't feel good...actually I used to treasure my friendship with them before an incident happened and I realized they didn't give a crap about me

Yeah, I'm pretty sure the people I've told think I made it up for attention. Sick, isn't it? I'm sorry about your pet, by the way.

I'm so sorry this happened to you, I also lost my best friend after realizing that she knew all along and was actively avoiding me because of it. It seems unfortunately common. At very least you got to finally take out the trash

Maybe that wasn't the nicest way to phrase it I guess I mean that I think a lot of people on here understand your pain and I'm glad that you care enough about yourself to protect yourself and do what's best for you even when it's hard

You phrased it fine. :) Thank you for the support, that helps.

 

[FuneralCry]

I certainly don't believe that other people can be relied on after all, sadly many people are way too self centred to ever care, I'm not even surprised that person was acting like that.

 

[bridgegirl]

I certainly don't believe that other people can be relied on after all, sadly many people are way too self centred to ever care, I'm not even surprised that person was acting like that.

You know what, it really doesn't surprise me either, when I think about what's she's really like.

 

[WeirdTheaterKid02]

I went through a kinda similar but at the same 5ime not similar type of situation. I was feeling super depressed and spoke to my friends about it because I'm the therapist friend and they always tell me their problems and mental issues.

I told them I haven't been able to keep up with school because of depression and blah blah and they told me I was a faker and was faking it. Yeah long story short I didn't really bring it up again. I also had a really awful birthday (I had finals on my bday and my pet also died on my bday) I told them about it and they laughed at me.....I'm still friends with them but not friends with them.

I don't mind dy hem not caring about me because I'm only with them to feel.more normal (hard to explain) so I don't care too much but it still didn't feel good...actually I used to treasure my friendship with them before an incident happened and I realized they didn't give a crap about me

No i totally understand what you mean. Sometimes having friends around you that make you feel more, human. Or just more grounded. With people like that though it can be hard to cut them off because of the familiarity of the misery.
Just know that these people will never be permanent in your life and you can work on building better friendships with different people. It took me a few years but I grew a strong support system with good people. And slowly started distancing myself from those shitty people. Still not fully healed but truly working hard to. If they continue to disrespect your feelings and treat you like some kind of inconvience until they need you, you definitely should not be relying on those people to feel normal. I promise there's people out there that absolutely can care about you and genuinely make you feel like a normal person, even in your discomfort or mental health. What it feels like to me is that you spend time with these people that force you to mask and suppress your feelings. U can DM me if you need someone to talk to that's not going to invalidate you.

 

[tiger b]

I misread the first line and thought you had been Rocky for a long while. Well, at least that way you could have given her a decent knuckle sandwich...

It's just shockingly poor behaviour and it's designed to push buttons. Good old power game. Don't play imo, try and feel as least bad as you can.

You really know her true colours now.

Maybe she couldn't cope with the conversation and your feelings. She should have said so, if the case.

Regardless, soz.

 

[bridgegirl]

I misread the first line and thought you had been Rocky for a long while. Well, at least that way you could have given her a decent knuckle sandwich...

It's just shockingly poor behaviour and it's designed to push buttons. Good old power game. Don't play imo, try and feel as least bad as you can.

You really know her true colours now.

Maybe she couldn't cope with the conversation and your feelings. She should have said so, if the case.

Regardless, soz.

Haha, don't I wish?

Yeah, if she wasn't up for it that's legit. Generally I try to ask people if they're at a spot where they can listen to something for a moment.

But yeah, I agree. It was designed to push buttons. Well it worked.

 

[tiger b]

Not knowing anything about your EX friend but people do bite off more than can can chew sometimes, and weird self-preservation can kick in. Or they're just totally/partially a...what's the scientific term? Oh yes, a @#*k.

I've no doubt that had the roles been reversed, you'd have not acted in such an awful way. It's like amateur mind games.

I hope you can diffuse some of the emotional pain from the situation. You don't deserve to be controlled in any way by an ex fiend, sorry, friend. Those are your darn buttons!

Here's to real friendship, more of a two-way street and can be rare to find.

 

[bridgegirl]

Not knowing anything about your EX friend but people do bite off more than can can chew sometimes, and weird self-preservation can kick in. Or they're just totally/partially a...what's the scientific term? Oh yes, a @#*k.

I've no doubt that had the roles been reversed, you'd have not acted in such an awful way. It's like amateur mind games.

I hope you can diffuse some of the emotional pain from the situation. You don't deserve to be controlled in any way by an ex fiend, sorry, friend. Those are your darn buttons!

Here's to real friendship, more of a two-way street and can be rare to find.

Thank you. I haven't confronted her but I had to get myself far, far away from her social media for a while. I just don't see how she could have done this in any kind of innocent way, she knows what that spot is to me.

I'm coping a little better with this than I thought I would, but, who knows. Plenty of time to spiral later. Lol

 

[MiMif]

No i totally understand what you mean. Sometimes having friends around you that make you feel more, human. Or just more grounded. With people like that though it can be hard to cut them off because of the familiarity of the misery.
Just know that these people will never be permanent in your life and you can work on building better friendships with different people. It took me a few years but I grew a strong support system with good people. And slowly started distancing myself from those shitty people. Still not fully healed but truly working hard to. If they continue to disrespect your feelings and treat you like some kind of inconvience until they need you, you definitely should not be relying on those people to feel normal. I promise there's people out there that absolutely can care about you and genuinely make you feel like a normal person, even in your discomfort or mental health. What it feels like to me is that you spend time with these people that force you to mask and suppress your feelings. U can DM me if you need someone to talk to that's not going to invalidate you.

Lmao today I just now got invited to the group chat....the other group chat that I didn't know about...it's funny lmao...i had a feeling they had another group chat now I know. The first thing one of them asked was who the heck invited me
I expected as much but still kinda feels shitty

 

[bridgegirl]

Lmao today I just now got invited to the group chat....the other group chat that I didn't know about...it's funny lmao...i had a feeling they had another group chat now I know. The first thing one of them asked was who the heck invited me
I expected as much but still kinda feels shitty

OOF. It feels shitty because it IS shitty! They suck!

 

[WeirdTheaterKid02]

Lmao today I just now got invited to the group chat....the other group chat that I didn't know about...it's funny lmao...i had a feeling they had another group chat now I know. The first thing one of them asked was who the heck invited me
I expected as much but still kinda feels shitty

Thats so not ok. They shouldn't be leading you on as a friend like this. To me it feels like they just don't like you, do you think if you distanced yourself they would care? If the answer is no I'd suggest you find better friends. Sending hugs

 

[ManByTheRiver]

I had a similar experience, same but not similar. Got drunk years ago at a friends gathering, and suddenly spilled out all the beans on my depression and suicidal ideation. No one mentioned it after that night, ever. Apart from one friend who made some snide remarks about it a few times over the next year after that.

It sucks, but what can you do, people aren't made to handle deep emotions like that.

 

[bridgegirl]

It sucks, but what can you do, people aren't made to handle deep emotions like that.

They aren't, and sometimes it seems like I'm the only one who does.

For what it's worth, I'm sorry that happened to you, that's a sucky situation.

Thats so not ok. They shouldn't be leading you on as a friend like this. To me it feels like they just don't like you, do you think if you distanced yourself they would care? If the answer is no I'd suggest you find better friends. Sending hugs

Times in the past that I've distanced myself it takes her a long time to notice.

 

[DEATH IS FREEDOM]

I myself have ended a long friendship years ago. This friend was very kind to me the first time but then expelled obscenities. I was kind and did not deserve this. I could not accept more. Now I have also lost family and relatives because of death and suicide. It seems they want me to live forever and I only want to live and die with dignity. It can be difficult to get along with people.

 

[tsumihoroboshi]

That's such a terrible things to do. I couldn't begin to understand her thought process. I once had a friend that told me that if I was just so depressed, then I should just end it. Like, uhm. Okay.

I also lost a friendship of nearly a decade because she decided I didn't fit her "image", because I'm too edgy and "judgemental". She wants positive, happy people around her and it seemed like I finally became too much to handle, so I know ow you feel when confiding in someone and then it turns out it just wasn't what you thought it was. It's been driving me crazy and pushing me further and further down that road.

Sometimes my own family makes careless remarks like "oh, you going to go in your room and cut yourself now?"

People in general are just so unreliable. It feels like nobody can be trusted.

I'm sorry you've had to deal with such carelessness and fake attitudes.

 

[bridgegirl]

That's such a terrible things to do. I couldn't begin to understand her thought process. I once had a friend that told me that if I was just so depressed, then I should just end it. Like, uhm. Okay.

I also lost a friendship of nearly a decade because she decided I didn't fit her "image", because I'm too edgy and "judgemental". She wants positive, happy people around her and it seemed like I finally became too much to handle, so I know ow you feel when confiding in someone and then it turns out it just wasn't what you thought it was. It's been driving me crazy and pushing me further and further down that road.

Sometimes my own family makes careless remarks like "oh, you going to go in your room and cut yourself now?"

People in general are just so unreliable. It feels like nobody can be trusted.

I'm sorry you've had to deal with such carelessness and fake attitudes.

Oh yeah, I've heard the "negative" thing before too. It's like, I'm sorry if sometimes I do feel real emotions and I don't just scream "JUST DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT!" and waltz off.

Your friends and family and callous and they suck. I'm sorry that you have to put up with that. It really does feel like no one can be trusted. =\