Ardesevent

Ardesevent

It’s the end of the line, cowboy
Feb 2, 2020
358
My dad found out I plan to CTB this morning. He promised to improve on some of the conditions of my childhood that let me get there (the house being absolutely filthy, only letting me eat fast food, and other stuff.) I full on broke down this morning, and for a moment I had hope before I remembered who I was talking to.
My dad has never kept a promise. He didn't come to my graduation like he said he would, he never scheduled a doctor's appointments without me crying for him too, and we've been having the conversation about fast food since I was 12. It was all a waste of my time.
It's starting to come back to bite me already. I've been having chest pains for awhile now, and I'm starting to get laugh lines at 18. It wouldn't bother me that much, but I was only able to get through high school because people pitied me since I looked like a child. At home remedies aren't working and I'm a guy, so if I don't have the skill to hide makeup well enough I'd be worse off. I can't afford to mess around with attempts anymore.
 
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Stavrogin

Stavrogin

If God not be, then this world dies with me
Jul 1, 2020
201
Keep in mind that his actions and attitudes, or lack thereof, are engendered by suffering just as yours are.
 

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