Empty and without purpose

[darkenmydoorstep]

I wake with no purpose other than the immediate business of survival and associated tasks. And what is purpose anyway? Whatever you make or grow will eventually be meaningless.

I float through my day like pac man, mindlessly consuming bleeping hours of food, internet, shit telly like a series of endless fucking dots. Sleep is my 'cherry'.

I have no wish to take anti depressants because my troubles are circumstantial and so it would be silly to mask a perfectly reasonable response to a shit situation.

I am 49 and for years have dreamed of turning 50 (you have to be 50) and attending one of the EXIT workshops because i am shit at practical stuff and want to observe and ask questions but now our authoritarian nanny state UK Govt have put the blockers on that. Perhaps I'll have to fly abroad to one, he might do a tour again, hopefully.

What to do other than sit and try and manifest my own death. I wonder if anyone has ever had any luck manifesting a fatal accident or disease or something? I wonder if there are any records of someone documenting beforehand that they were going to do that.

Hmm….

Those are my grim as ever thoughts tonight, anyway.

 

[FuneralCry]

I hate how the UK is such an anti-suicide society with people expected to suffer no matter what, it really would be such a relief if assisted suicide is legalised.

 

[darkenmydoorstep]

And for all adults who want it, not just a select few. No favourite causes.

 

[WAITING TO DIE]

Good point about not wanting to take antidepressants because your troubles are circumstantial.
I'm in the UK too unfortunately and sick of the increasingly dystopian bullshit being forced upon us.
Hell, they don't even want us looking at suicide forums now.
Tired of these sadistic control freaks in suits.

 

[darkenmydoorstep]

Exactly. There are my own problems and then and as you say, the wider context we live in. Prison planet with its bullshit rules, increasing surveillance and gamification.
It all just serves to intensify any personal suffering an individual has.

 

[WAITING TO DIE]

Exactly. There are my own problems and then and as you say, the wider context we live in. Prison planet with its bullshit rules, increasing surveillance and gamification.
It all just serves to intensify any personal suffering an individual has.

I bet a lot of these politicians look at far worse things on the internet than sasu.
Bunch of weird paedophiles the lot of them .