Discussion emotions when researching

[sleepy dog]

When doing research on different methods and interacting with others on forums like this one I get emotional. Its a feeling of fear, or slow panic, anxiety. I don't really know what is the best word to use. The more stats I see from what seem to be reliable sources, the more I worry about failing any attempt with any method. Nembutal seems to be the one highly reliable way, plus it seems to be peaceful and painless. Does anybody else experience this?

 

[pole]

When doing research on different methods and interacting with others on forums like this one I get emotional. Its a feeling of fear, or slow panic, anxiety. I don't really know what is the best word to use. The more stats I see from what seem to be reliable sources, the more I worry about failing any attempt with any method. Nembutal seems to be the one highly reliable way, plus it seems to be peaceful and painless. Does anybody else experience this?

Yes i do as well. i felt alot of it when i first joined the site a year ago. Very anxious, fearful of perhaps getting caught or it not working out, and emotional; emotional i guess just thinking about the point im at in life. people my age researching about careers, and jobs, and talking and meeting people, enjoying school, partying, while the only interaction and research iv been doing is wanting to die. its sad and pathetic and thats where most of what i feel, especially emotions comes from.

yes, im also set on nembutal. something peaceful, quick and effecient. just hope it's easy to access sometime soon and hope to save up in order to buy it.

The more you research about such things, the more you get comfortable with them and what YOU wanna do. Earlier one in doing such a thing, you feel different emotions hitting you. after all, just planning on dying, researching about such methods, interacting and hearing the stories of others and just feeling for their pain and suffering; it takes a significant toll on you emotionally.

wish you peace.

 

[Trainwreck]

I completely understand. It's very stressful to research a full proof method, and it's also very hard to see so many kind people suffering so much. Initially, I wanted N as well, but the risks are too great for me (not to mention it's an awful lot of liquid to keep down). If I had the means and know how, I'd do the exit bag or carbon monoxide . But I'm getting more comfortable with SN, which is probably my only viable option.

Edit: I know I'll be terrified once the time comes (soon). It will be hard to die alone at night,and not knowing if I'll be successful. And I know my poor mom will be the one to find me.

 

[pole]

I completely understand. It's very stressful to research a full proof method, and it's also very hard to see so many kind people suffering so much. Initially, I wanted N as well, but the risks are too great for me (not to mention it's an awful lot of liquid to keep down). If I had the means and know how, I'd do the exit bag or carbon monoxide . But I'm getting more comfortable with SN, which is probably my only viable option.

in all, its either SN, N, or maybe F. i know people my age whom might have street connections to F. so i hope i can get something out of that. I live in Canada, so its hard to really get these things here.

and the risks are the scariest yes. like if im gonna 100 percent go through with it, being caught and/or failing my attempt is gonna leave me worse than just living and being alive even before my plan and attempt.

wishing you luck and hope you find peace.