emotional neglect in childhood?

[theanonymousssly]

I feel so horrible for ever thinking my parents are/were bad parents, but I think they are. They tried their best, it wasn't enough.

As a kid, I remember my mealtimes had a routine - I would eat my food and there would be an untouched plate while my dad constantly asked my mum to come down from her room and eat. She said she would, but she never did. Meanwhile, my dad would talk about how my mother was a neglectful woman and how no one in the family appreciates his efforts and how everyone in the family hates him.

Eventually, after like an hour, I'll take the cold plate of food up to her room and put it outside her door.

If I'm lucky, I'll see her reach her arm out to take it and maybe look at me.

I'd return an hour or two later to a dirtied plate of eaten food, and I'd bring it back downstairs. I guess it never really occurred to me how uncanny the resemblance was to a prisoner on death row.

My mum isn't a workaholic anymore and my dad doesn't scream a lot at me anymore (he gets upset still, but he guilt trips the family instead) and my grandma doesn't hit me anymore.

Overall, my family right now is pretty picture perfect, and I love them. But I think they fucked up my childhood.

 

[suicidesheep31.1]

I also think that my mother did her best with what she had.
And my father, well, was just not here because I also took the decision to not see him at some point.
It is healthy to understand their point of view or capabilities.
It is also healthy to validate yourself. And tell them what you missed as a child.
And what you would want more. Maybe more quality time with your mother, and father.
You could bring it as an open discussion, without judgment. But only if you feel like they are ready to here it.
Hug