Venting Dying a little each day

[Squiddy]

I'm trying to get better at stocking, but am still going really slow. I also found out on my patient portal from my neurologist that he thinks that my cognitive issues might be mild cognitive impairment (MCI). I really hope it isn't it, but the symptoms match up. My memory is complete shit and my ability to articulate my thoughts in person is shit too. If it is it, I read that I'd be at an increased risk for dementia and it kind of scares me because I had a concussion when I was younger and one of my family members has it so the risk is probably really high. If I do end up developing it in the future, I might live for another year doing whatever the hell I want and then ctb as I don't want to deteriorate further. He also put it could just be my ADHD and other disorders too

 

[Smart No More]

I can relate to this fwiw. Losing your cognition is a horrible thing and you kind of mourn yourself in private. I get it. I'm further down that path than yourself I think, following something that triggered a terrible health event for me, massively impacting my memory and cognition in a way that I now struggle to communicate efficiently or effectively and have only a short daily capacity for things of that nature that are challenging in that way. It was previously amongst my biggest strengths and learning was a full time 'hobby' that was second nature to me. Now it's like that part of me died, hence the self mourning. For me it isn't hereditary so I'm not sure how much can be done. Still looking into that.

The good news is, in cases like yours there's a lot that can be done with medicine. Also diet and lifestyle to an extent. It's something that will loom over you, sure but it doesn't mean you will fall into decline rapidly in the next year or so. You have a fair chance of living into old age before it affects that way, if ever. Obviously now is time you can consider contingency and confiding in someone you trust in lew of any eventualities you see fit. But planning for them is just that and not a certificate of certainty.


All the best. I'm rooting for you.

 

[Lost Magic]

Yeah, I understand Squiddy. Dementia is something that runs in my family. Both uncles suffered greatly from it. I couldn't handle dying from a long term illness like that. I have seen too much of it over the years and it is not for me. So I get were you are coming from.

 

[again_noidea]

I'm trying to get better at stocking, but am still going really slow. I also found out on my patient portal from my neurologist that he thinks that my cognitive issues might be mild cognitive impairment (MCI). I really hope it isn't it, but the symptoms match up. My memory is complete shit and my ability to articulate my thoughts in person is shit too. If it is it, I read that I'd be at an increased risk for dementia and it kind of scares me because I had a concussion when I was younger and one of my family members has it so the risk is probably really high. If I do end up developing it in the future, I might live for another year doing whatever the hell I want and then ctb as I don't want to deteriorate further. He also put it could just be my ADHD and other disorders too

don't believe everything what doctors are saying.

 

[FuneralCry]

I'm sorry that you suffer so unbearably. It is such a cruel and unfair life, and I can imagine that it must be awful what you are going through. To me, it is horrifying that so many things can go wrong in this life. I wish you the best in whatever happens and I hope that you find relief from suffering.

 

[Squiddy]

I can relate to this fwiw. Losing your cognition is a horrible thing and you kind of mourn yourself in private. I get it. I'm further down that path than yourself I think, following something that triggered a terrible health event for me, massively impacting my memory and cognition in a way that I now struggle to communicate efficiently or effectively and have only a short daily capacity for things of that nature that are challenging in that way. It was previously amongst my biggest strengths and learning was a full time 'hobby' that was second nature to me. Now it's like that part of me died, hence the self mourning. For me it isn't hereditary so I'm not sure how much can be done. Still looking into that.

The good news is, in cases like yours there's a lot that can be done with medicine. Also diet and lifestyle to an extent. It's something that will loom over you, sure but it doesn't mean you will fall into decline rapidly in the next year or so. You have a fair chance of living into old age before it affects that way, if ever. Obviously now is time you can consider contingency and confiding in someone you trust in lew of any eventualities you see fit. But planning for them is just that and not a certificate of certainty.


All the best. I'm rooting for you.

Idk if I even want to live into old age with this. I'm getting tired of fighting :(