Venting (dumb rant) I have everything and it’s not enough

[apearl]

I have loving married parents who made a good enough wage to raise me comfortable and they where the best parents I could've asked for. I had therapists for now, the majority of my life and most of them where good, my current one is literally the best. I've been on psych meds for years and years and my psychiatrist now is so good, she listens to me and she is really willing to try anything to help, I have a good friend who cares about me and talks to me every day. I got into a good college and make ok grades.

And it's not enough, I'm still so fucking depressed. The only solitude I get every day is death. Is knowing I can have a way out. It sucks because what am I suppose to do??? I have everything I could possibly need. And I couldn't win with it. I still feel disappointment, and I'm alone. And I'll be alone till I die I'm pretty sure.

I wish that death could be sunshine and rainbows so this could be easier.

 

[s00ngone]

Feeling sorta the same. Not with everything going well - I've certainly fucked up in more ways than one - but with enough ability to succeed in life for my overwhelming resignation to dying to be bizarre and feel kind of pathetic, to me.

I'm sorry it sounds like a source of guilt for you. I can certainly say it is for me, though if you ask me, there's no quota you're missing for life to feel like "enough." It would baffle pretty much everyone in my life to find out I feel this way, but for me it's kind of an inevitability, a foregone conclusion that just expedites the horror of life being temporary anyway.

If it's any consolation, I hear you. You're not less for not having the anticipated reaction to your circumstances. The way you're wired shouldn't have to be a source of grief on top of the pain of not knowing how to cope with being alive.

 

[apearl]

If it's any consolation, I hear you. You're not less for not having the anticipated reaction to your circumstances. The way you're wired shouldn't have to be a source of grief on top of the pain of not knowing how to cope with being alive.

Thank you for your message, I'm glad to know some on people on this website are the same. And thank you for this wnd bit. I really needed someone to be here for me in this moment and this helped a ton

 

[padda]

I feel the same way as you, and our life situations seem quite similar.I have a pretty good life, but I'm still depressed and have anxiety that has stayed for too long. somethings just wrong with my brain,I have a war with myself everyday. Btw I'm also a mitsky fan