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DiscussionDropping hints
Thread starterFallingFree
Start date
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I used to do this, which then progressed to me outwardly saying it constantly, but now that I'm less inclined to receive help and have also learned that the people in my life respond to this sort of behavior with unproductive concern, I've stopped.
I do enjoy making subtle allusions to suicide sometimes, but not out of any hope of being saved, because it feels like nobody can save me from it. I do it because I really want to be honest about my state of mind, and it's the closest I can get to doing that, since being fully open about it would likely lead to more trouble than it's worth - disagreements, fake concern, awkward change of atmosphere, and so on.
Reactions:
ocd is bad, Jack4230, almostnohopeleft. and 1 other person
I make a lot of jokes about it. And while the people close to me know that I'm suicidal, it's still just seen as a joke that's not really funny to them...
I don't really want to do this because if I ctb I don't want my parents to think "if we took what he said more seriously he'd still be here". They don't know I'm suicidal and my only worry is that they'd blame themselves.
Reactions:
FallingFree, shush and idontevenknowanymore
Do the very opposite. Put on a fake smile(under a mask, so it doesn't matter too much but people say it reflects in your eyes) and have banal chit chats which I detest because there is a real chance of being reported on and then institutionalized and that would interfere with all my carefully laid out plans and schedule. Besides if those people really really wanted to help they would have done so already when the struggle became too real and super obvious.
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