Help Driving me crazy

[Luchs]

Since about five years ago I have been going through some emotional shit. For about a month I feel on top of the world, then from one day to another I am suddenly in the deepest depression and then for a week or so I am suddenly filled with hatred for myself. That's how I cycle through every fucking emotion, I'm feeling disgusted with myself and then, as if someine flicked a switch, I am suddenly senselessly happy. This is driving me craczy and it is getting worse with every year. I'm so fucking done, today I cried for the first time in years. I don't want to die, I just want it to stop... I don't have any mental illness and apart from some light bullying no traumatic events in my life. How and why is this fucking happening, I'm going insane, I'm so fed up with constantly wearing masks to not make people worry.

 

[Epsilon0]

I recognize the same roller coaster pattern you describe, but in my case it is directly linked to how my pain fluctuates.

Have you noticed any correlation between your mood and external or internal events? Or do you suspect it is a chemical imbalance in your brain?

 

[Sensei]

OP, can you really be sure you don't have a mental health condition? I'm not a psychiatrist, but that sounds very much like cyclothymia.