Dreaming of suicide (literally)

[ladolcemorte]

Anyone else ever dream of their suicide? Last night I had this dream where I was near my suicide bridge but managed to find this waterfall that was even higher than the bridge and there was a glass staircase beside the water fall and I jumped from the glass staircase. I jumped without any inhibition and felt a mix of relief and joy in the free fall.

But somehow I never landed. Somehow I found myself near the waterfall and I jumped again from the ground underneath the water fall. Again, the jump itself was glorious. This time I felt myself land on soft sand at the shallowest end of the ocean, still alive and unscathed.

Then I decided to go to my bridge and on the way I stepped in front of a train. It was an accident at first. I realized I was on railroad tracks and the train was honking and I decided not to move. I got hit by the train and was paralyzed from the waist down. The dream ended with me being transported to the hospital in a gondola. (No idea where that came from, except that there are gondolas in a ski town a few hours from my bridge...)

I don't know what to make of this dream. At first I thought the fact that I was able to jump so freely in the dream means I am ready to go. But then I wonder if the fact that I didn't die means I'm not ready. Or maybe it is a warning that I will fail again. (I don't know if I believe dreams have any significance at all, but I don't discount the possibility.)

Or maybe it was just a bunch of images strung together and it means nothing at all...

Either way it was a very intense dream.

 

[BPD Barbie]

I often dream/daydream about myself hanging from a tree or having my throat slit. Almost comforting and reassuring even though it's graphic.

 

[Nihil]

Yeah, I have quite a few times, maybe more than I can count. Most distinct suicide dreams are shooting myself in the head with a revolver. Every time I pull the trigger, every time I hear/feel the bullet penetrate my skull, there's an intensly loud ringing popping noise. Nearly instantly, I'm jolted awake with a mild headache. Gives me the shivers every time that happens, and I find myself unable to sleep the rest of the night.

 

[Flippy]

Yeah, I have quite a few times, maybe more than I can count. Most distinct suicide dreams are shooting myself in the head with a revolver. Every time I pull the trigger, every time I hear/feel the bullet penetrate my skull, there's an intensly loud ringing popping noise. Nearly instantly, I'm jolted awake with a mild headache. Gives me the shivers every time that happens, and I find myself unable to sleep the rest of the night.

That's sounds bad, it sucks to be woken from sleep, with a headache and then struggle to sleep again. I don't think I have many dreams about ctb but I had one so vivid once that I actually was searching for the gun under and even inside the sofa. This was after remembering the dream then not being too sure if it was a dream after all.

 

[_Minsk]

quite not sure on that one but i do dream quite often about things im worried about, things which are important to me or simply things which im spending much time on thinking about in my wake state..

had 3 ctb dreams the last 8 months, i think its just simply your mind's way of processing things or just preparing for it.. might be wrong tho, but i started trying to check if dreams in fact could be some sort of 'vision' or 'prophecy' but i couldn't see it being the case.. i think it can be different if you truly believe in dreams being some sort of prophecy, mindset has a big impact i think.

 

[squirtsoda]

Mine is very vivid, either from my past attempts, or future (SN). And they go through all the way to end which is looking down from the ceiling at my body getting a full autopsy, the brown blood from the SN, the blueish skin, etc. Then my family coming in to identify the body. Plays over a couple times every night.

 

[scorchedearth]

I haven't dreamt about doing it, but I have had many where I confess my thoughts to people I either know or used to know. Also a few where people told me not to do it. I'm the kind of person who looks for meaning in my dreams, so these dreams threw me for a bit of a loop.

 

[HorribleFeelings1]

I often dream/daydream about myself hanging from a tree or having my throat slit. Almost comforting and reassuring even though it's graphic.

Oh I daydream a lot, I daydream a lot of me shooting myself or doing my method, Exsanguination, just laying there with my blood flowing out, slowly passing out

 

[lovemelovemenot]

Yes. Either dreams of me dying or dreams of me killing myself. The most recent was of me jumping infront of a train. I always feel relieved in the dreams where I die. Its scary at first, then everything goes black and it's peaceful. It's made me realize how okay I am with death.