Dreaming of getting cancer or other deadly illness

[UmbraDweller]

It would honestly be the biggest relief. All worries about what I'm gonna do with life gone, no responsibilities. No guilt tripping coming from others unlike with suicide. I would just put my feet up and chill while knowing this nightmare will end soon all by itself.

I wouldn't need to keep it a secret and could be open about it with others, say proper goodbyes. Die with dignity and support.

It would be longer and probably more painful process than suicide, but at least everyone would understand and be nice about it.

 

[BARIZON]

I know that feeling, wished somebody would put a bullet through my head though. But honestly, nobody should feel guilty for committing suicide, what you do with yourself is up to you, the only things people around you should feel guilty about is that you are so bad mentally that would rather be dead then endure a miserable existence.

 

[Agon321]

This would be quite positive in my case.

I would probably use SN anyway, or jump from a great height because I would want to avoid a lot of unnecessary pain. If I got seriously ill, it probably wouldn't be pleasant.

I would have been glad I got sick because I would have had a very good excuse for CTB.
There would be nothing left to keep me on this planet because there would be no hope for me anymore.
My fate would be completely sealed.
My family would also understand my CTB more.

If a serious illness hadn't suddenly confined me to bed, I wouldn't have complained.

 

[DoubleUp8]

That's a good idea really. If you can find a disease that is easy to contract and fatal. Never really thought of this before. But what disease could fit the bill? Aids and hepC are treatable nowadays. TB maybe? Idk?

 

[Hotsackage]

I mean philosophically it would work

 

[BARIZON]

Workshop Your Suicide Note

As I write my suicide note, I thought it might be useful to have a sort of "workshopping" thread similar to what occurs in literary circles. Post your suicide note and offer comments on the notes others have posted. Some resources to help you get started on writing your suicide note...

sanctioned-suicide.net

I had to save this cause it articulates these ideas so much better than i ever could, i'm gonna be using it in my own goodbye letter.

 

[FuneralCry]

It's really understandable wishing for that and I understand why it'd bring you relief. I see those people who will soon be free of this futile and undesirable existence as very fortunate, I envy them.

 

[derpyderpins]

It would honestly be the biggest relief. All worries about what I'm gonna do with life gone, no responsibilities. No guilt tripping coming from others unlike with suicide. I would just put my feet up and chill while knowing this nightmare will end soon all by itself.

I wouldn't need to keep it a secret and could be open about it with others, say proper goodbyes. Die with dignity and support.

It would be longer and probably more painful process than suicide, but at least everyone would understand and be nice about it.

Always. Give me the eternal excuse and all the pity.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

I've watched 2 people I love die from different cancers, and believe me, it's no picnic. There's intense pain for months and months that goes unrelieved even with pain meds. When you finally get relief is when Hospice steps in, which is at the very end, and they finally give you something stronger that renders you unconscious. But, that is when you're hours to a couple days away from death. The rest of the time getting to that point is spent in increasing agony and pain.

 

[babyharpseal]

does anyone else have legal euthanasia in their area? best case for me is getting terminal illness n being able to have the peaceful death. they need to extend it to the disabled/chronically ill like good old canada

 

[feelinggloomy]

My brother in law has terminal cancer and desperately wants to live. I wish I could change places with him

 

[SoulCage]

I've watched 2 people I love die from different cancers, and believe me, it's no picnic. There's intense pain for months and months that goes unrelieved even with pain meds. When you finally get relief is when Hospice steps in, which is at the very end, and they finally give you something stronger that renders you unconscious. But, that is when you're hours to a couple days away from death. The rest of the time getting to that point is spent in increasing agony and pain.

I have a lot of fears and this is one of them. I want to avoid dying in agony, that's why I am also too scared to CTB.
I recently told my therapist that I have this fear of and she said "not all cancers lead to death with suffering". She wanted to take away my fear but instead gave me hope that I can pass away without the pain and without the social stigma. Basically became an accidental CTB ally Let's hope she is right.

 

[divinemistress36]

In the USA if one has a terminal illness they can qualify for euthansia in some states

 

[locked*n*loaded]

I have a lot of fears and this is one of them. I want to avoid dying in agony, that's why I am also too scared to CTB.
I recently told my therapist that I have this fear of and she said "not all cancers lead to death with suffering". She wanted to take away my fear but instead gave me hope that I can pass away without the pain and without the social stigma. Basically became an accidental CTB ally Let's hope she is right.

Sorry, but she's not right. I mean if you get cancer, and then treatment, and the treatment works, you'll be sick, no doubt, from the treatment, which is absolutely miserable, too, and you will have some pain, some of it bad pain. But, if you let cancers progress, they inevitably spread to other parts of the body and there WILL be severe pain involved, REALLY extreme pain. Why hope for cancer? First hoping and wishing does nothing. If you want out, then just get out.

 

[UmbraDweller]

I've watched 2 people I love die from different cancers, and believe me, it's no picnic. There's intense pain for months and months that goes unrelieved even with pain meds. When you finally get relief is when Hospice steps in, which is at the very end, and they finally give you something stronger that renders you unconscious. But, that is when you're hours to a couple days away from death. The rest of the time getting to that point is spent in increasing agony and pain.

I can imagine with any terminal illness comes a lot of agony. If the pain got unbearable I would still kill myself. But it would still at least act as a good enough reasoning to why I did it for people around me to understand, as someone here already expressed. It would also be that last straw for me to finally get over with it.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

I

I can imagine with any terminal illness comes a lot of agony. If the pain got unbearable I would still kill myself. But it would still at least act as a good enough reasoning to why I did it for people around me to understand, as someone here already expressed. It would also be that last straw for me to finally get over with it.

I guess I just don't get it. In my mind, cancer shouldn't be a bargaining chip. It's simply a horrendous disease. Maybe I can't see past that I don't need it (cancer) to convince myself to go. Different strokes for different folks, I guess.

 

[UmbraDweller]

I

I guess I just don't get it. In my mind, cancer shouldn't be a bargaining chip. It's simply a horrendous disease. Maybe I can't see past that I don't need it (cancer) to convince myself to go. Different strokes for different folks, I guess.

I suppose for me it's mostly this dead end position it would put me in which is appealing to me here. Knowing 100% I'm about to die very soon. Like, right now I don't even know if I will ever even grow the balls to kill myself, pressure of terminal illness would not only fix that but also kill me if I don't end up doing it, like a fuse. The pain of it is ofcourse horrendous and nothing to wish for, but honestly just having that pressure to finally kill myself would be great because I don't have the willpower. Ofcourse if you want out just get out, but I've been wanting that for years and wanting sadly isn't enough.

 

[heavyeyes]

Sounds dumb but some people say if you believe hard enough you can manifest things. Will things to happen. I've been manifesting some kind of terminal illness or disease for years now. Not working yet but I'll let you know if it ever does lol

 

[J&L383]

Cancer can be a bitch, I've seen two family members die from it. If you can pick and choose you want to pick a cancer that will take you quickly! (But you can't pick and choose , you can't even pick). I agree with your sentiment though, I've thought similarly.

 

[escape_from_hell]

Anyone just told others/family you have a terminal illness even if you do not?
To psychologically prep them and say goodbyes. Then CTB instead of dying of cancer etc.
For some of us, whatever the fuck is wrong with us IS terminal and many would call it mental illness, so it is not a lie.