Venting Doomed on the wrong path?

[FadingSnowFake]

Has anyone ever felt like one wrong action or decision just leads to more wrong actions and decisions? That one bad thing, that can never be undone, is almost like a curse or punishment further down a pre-destined end in wrongness because of that same big thing?

Even in daily life, I seem to knowingly make the wrong decisions. Like being in the wrong place because of that stupid mistake can never make whatever future decisions/actions/choices right again. There's just no "right option" available anymore.

I know my last $100 is reserved for SN, and I fear getting to that point, but at the same time I feel it may be destined. I feel incapable of focusing my mind to choose between two options, because both seem wrong. To make it worse, I even end up choosing the worst option between alternatives. I keep on doing the wrong things, not because I want to, but because it's almost automatic.

I feel as if I'm in the wrong place, and the only way out would be to leave the planet, there are no more options left. Maybe my mind has left already, unable to concentrate, unable to make sense anymore of a senseless life. Nothing matters anymore because everything is wrong, and nothing can be right again.

If anyone can relate, are we doomed?

 

[Anonymousa]

Yea I feel that way. If I make a wrong decision I become mentally worse which makes it harder to not make decisions that don't make me even worse. Its a downward spiral.

 

[DivineSpark]

I suffer mostly because I have made wrong choices in life. I have fucked up myself and my future.

 

[Kali_Yuga13]

I view it like a fork in the road. Let's say you take a left where you should've gone right. Once you are far enough along, taking a right is still a tributary on the left path. Retracing one's steps is akin to time travel and seemingly not possible. The whole situation results in decision paralysis.

Nothing matters anymore because everything is wrong, and nothing can be right again.

I think a lot of people feel this way and what makes this worse is when it fees like humanity as a collective is going in the wrong direction having been led up the garden path as the saying goes. Therapy sees to adjust a person to function in society but the society is also sick so there's less incentive to get well.

 

[divinemistress87]

I view it like a fork in the road. Let's say you take a left where you should've gone right. Once you are far enough along, taking a right is still a tributary on the left path. Retracing one's steps is akin to time travel and seemingly not possible. The whole situation results in decision paralysis.


I think a lot of people feel this way and what makes this worse is when it fees like humanity as a collective is going in the wrong direction having been led up the garden path as the saying goes. Therapy sees to adjust a person to function in society but the society is also sick so there's less incentive to get well.

Yes, going to therapy to try to adjust to a sick society

 

[Forever Sleep]

I've actualy made a fair number of u-turns in life. I'm not sure that I ever berated myself for the decisions that lead me to changing once again. I think life has to be experienced to some degree to know whether a certain thing will suit us. We can make an educated guess or hope but, we won't know for sure whether that particular thing will work out. We change, other people change. Sometimes, it was just the best decision available at the time. I'm actually quite forgiving of my past 'mistakes'.

I also think it's possible to change things at most ages. It's not easy by any means and certain things are more difficult at certain ages. More importantly though, is enough drive and courage in a way to take risks.

That courage needs to be supported though. It may be a financial risk if we're moving or studying which- we may not have. We may be risking emotional hurt trying to find new friendships or partners. That's not to mention having or sustaining physical heath and fitness to cope with life. Plus, above all of it looms the prospect of failure.

So- to take those risks, I think we either need to feel so unhappy that, there's little left to lose- I think knowing my current situation wouldn't make me happy has been the biggest motivation for change for me. Plus, I think there needs to be some degree of hope/ faith that our new decision will work out and if it doesn't, we'll have the strength to move on again.

Maybe that's the stumbling block. That previous 'bad' decisions make us doubt all of our decisions. For me, it's not that my past decisions were necessarily 'bad'. More, that they weren't 'good' enough. They didn't warrant the effort I made to achieve them. So, that tends to be what puts me off big changes now. I simply don't have the fight left. Not that I can't still change but, the thought of having to go through it all again and very likely, ending up in the same place eventually. A bit like one hoop of fire too many. I'd much rather just try to tread water now until I no longer need to.

I'm in one way glad I took the risks I did. (Literally moving hundreds of miles for new jobs on a couple of occasions.) It was good to at least try that. But I suppose, from that experience and the lacklustre results, it makes me reluctant to do all that again.

 

[FadingSnowFake]

Yea I feel that way. If I make a wrong decision I become mentally worse which makes it harder to not make decisions that don't make me even worse. Its a downward spiral.

Yes, downward spiral is the word.

I suffer mostly because I have made wrong choices in life. I have fucked up myself and my future.

Exactly how I feel too.

I think a lot of people feel this way and what makes this worse is when it fees like humanity as a collective is going in the wrong direction having been led up the garden path as the saying goes. Therapy sees to adjust a person to function in society but the society is also sick so there's less incentive to get well.

So true.

I view it like a fork in the road. Let's say you take a left where you should've gone right. Once you are far enough along, taking a right is still a tributary on the left path. Retracing one's steps is akin to time travel and seemingly not possible. The whole situation results in decision paralysis.

Yes, an ex-boyfriend used to say it like this too, we come to this place with the fork, and we make the best choice we can and then have to live with it. And that brings you to another, etc.

I've actualy made a fair number of u-turns in life. I'm not sure that I ever berated myself for the decisions that lead me to changing once again. I think life has to be experienced to some degree to know whether a certain thing will suit us. We can make an educated guess or hope but, we won't know for sure whether that particular thing will work out. We change, other people change. Sometimes, it was just the best decision available at the time. I'm actually quite forgiving of my past 'mistakes'.

I also think it's possible to change things at most ages. It's not easy by any means and certain things are more difficult at certain ages. More importantly though, is enough drive and courage in a way to take risks.

That courage needs to be supported though. It may be a financial risk if we're moving or studying which- we may not have. We may be risking emotional hurt trying to find new friendships or partners. That's not to mention having or sustaining physical heath and fitness to cope with life. Plus, above all of it looms the prospect of failure.

So- to take those risks, I think we either need to feel so unhappy that, there's little left to lose- I think knowing my current situation wouldn't make me happy has been the biggest motivation for change for me. Plus, I think there needs to be some degree of hope/ faith that our new decision will work out and if it doesn't, we'll have the strength to move on again.

Maybe that's the stumbling block. That previous 'bad' decisions make us doubt all of our decisions. For me, it's not that my past decisions were necessarily 'bad'. More, that they weren't 'good' enough. They didn't warrant the effort I made to achieve them. So, that tends to be what puts me off big changes now. I simply don't have the fight left. Not that I can't still change but, the thought of having to go through it all again and very likely, ending up in the same place eventually. A bit like one hoop of fire too many. I'd much rather just try to tread water now until I no longer need to.

I'm in one way glad I took the risks I did. (Literally moving hundreds of miles for new jobs on a couple of occasions.) It was good to at least try that. But I suppose, from that experience and the lacklustre results, it makes me reluctant to do all that again.

It all makes total sense, thanks for sharing. I appreciate the bit about taking u-turns and I have an aunt with the saying we need to know when to "change lanes". I can also relate to not having the fight left and really just wanting to tread water now. It's tiring to keep on trying, especially when big decisions are involved and finding the strength to do it all over again.