Don't you love it when the people who said, "There's always hope" now no longer talk to you?

[Leucosticte]

E.g., friends from the past, who used to tell you that suicide is never rational because you never know if life is going to get better, have decided they no longer like you, and therefore won't talk to you anymore?

They don't explicitly say, "Okay, now I don't mind if you kill yourself," but it's kind of implied since the lack of any further association means that they're no longer deriving value from the relationship.

 

[lululoo]

I'm sorry. I only ever told two people about suicidal thoughts. One does still talk to me, though rarely. The other one is no longer my friend but we were never close anyway, it was just random that I told her.
But I do have another supposedly close friend of THIRTY YEARS who knows I'm severely depressed and must know on some level I am suicidal. She never talks to me. Too busy with her new boyfriend and her foster dog. That one hurts the most.

 

[ThinkingAboutThis]

I know. It is very painful. People can act so selfishly at times.

 

[Redt2go]

Sorry they abandoned you

 

[15dec]

A few months ago when I confided in some of my friends (sparing majority of the details) the only one who really seemed to care was my ex, everyone else would just say things would get better or tell me to go and talk to someone else. My ex would actually sit with me, hug me, make sure I was okay... I used to worry how much he'd blame himself when I ctb and even worry if it'd make him want to ctb as well (he also has mental health problems) and he was probably the main thing stopping me. He absolutely hates me now though, I'm just a stain on his life. Me ctb will most likely be the best news he's had in a while.

 

[NoChoice]

E.g., friends from the past, who used to tell you that suicide is never rational because you never know if life is going to get better, have decided they no longer like you, and therefore won't talk to you anymore?

They don't explicitly say, "Okay, now I don't mind if you kill yourself," but it's kind of implied since the lack of any further association means that they're no longer deriving value from the relationship.

I can't say I understand how they write us off like that. My best friend in particular, he was miserable throughout most of his young life when I knew from middle school through highschool. He honestly had almost nothing going for him but he was extremely smart and did have a very deep sense of humour so we connected, but he was extremely narcicistic and depressed, suicidal. He told me I pretty much saved his life and he would've killed himself if it weren't for me. I saw the potential in him and I enjoyed his company enough to basically take the bad end of the relationship and let him "drain me" as I had sooo much going for me at the time. He was never really happy for me unless I was doing something to directly help him, which I can somewhat understand but he took it to an extreme, he was troubled. It's like he saw the good things that were happening to me and that I was experiencing and he believed I didn't deserve it and that good things would never happen to him, which to some extent I understand. But, we split ways in college and he ended up finding his first girlfriend and losing his virginity, finding his adulthood etc. One night I saw him and he was so happy and glowing with energy that he was probably the happiest person I've ever seen in my life. The odd part is is that it seriously felt like my energy that he drained from me, I'm not saying this out of jealousy or anything you have to experience it because it was so strange.. it's like he drained my energy and now it's his. Now I'm the depressed and suicidal one and he really doesn't care about me half as much as I did him.. I understand part of it because we can't hang out now as we live in different areas and hes busy in school but it feels fucked up. Maybe I got used, It's hard for me to believe it but it could be true.. but we are still friends and I love him. It just feels like I got the life sucked out of me literally and he's not done much to return the favor so far. He admitted that he pretty much forgot about me at one point when we got in a sort of fight, so it just amazes me how you can literally save someones life and do so much for them only for them to turn their back on you and act like you've done nothing and mean nothing to them. Humans amaze me.

 

[21Neberg]

I can't 100% blame them. I don't like being myself, so why should anyone enjoy being around a miserable soul like me?

 

[NoChoice]

I can't 100% blame them. I don't like being myself, so why should anyone enjoy being around a miserable soul like me?

Unfortunate truth: The world is full of smart people who are unsure of themselves, and idiots flowing with confidence.

Forgot where I heard it, may have even been on here. Ignorance is bliss. I know too much, even if I was healthy I think I would still be miserable. Once you see the world a certain way it's hard to go back ever again. I think I just hate humanity at it's core including myself. I see us as a parasite on this beautiful planet.

 

[daikon]

@Nochoice That's a really kind thing you did for your friend -- it is disappointing to see how self-centered people can be. But you said he was a narcissist, so that behavior would match the profile. I'm sorry you invested so much time and energy in someone who didn't reciprocate, but it does say something about you as a person.

I can personally relate to your story a little. I have a lot of depressed friends, and before my boyfriend died we'd all joke about being so sad and suicidal together. Now that I've been put in a psych ward and am convinced I will not get better and that suicide is the only option, they've all abandoned me. My best friend from high school said I had "a very negative aura" and blamed me for being abandoned by all my former social connections -- total bullshit. I wonder if it's humanity or just the times, but I feel like I meet more flighty people than reliable people. A good man is hard to find, as they say.

 

[NoOneKnows]

Unfortunate truth: The world is full of smart people who are unsure of themselves, and idiots flowing with confidence.

Forgot where I heard it, may have even been on here. Ignorance is bliss. I know too much, even if I was healthy I think I would still be miserable. Once you see the world a certain way it's hard to go back ever again. I think I just hate humanity at it's core including myself. I see us as a parasite on this beautiful planet.

"
The world is full of smart people who are unsure of themselves, and idiots flowing with confidence.
Forgot where I heard it, may have even been on here. Ignorance is bliss. I know too much, even if I was healthy I think I would still be miserable. Once you see the world a certain way it's hard to go back ever again. I think I just hate humanity at it's core including myself. I see us as a parasite on this beautiful planet.[/QUOTE] " = couldnt say it better, I feel the same way

 

[lshode55]

I can't say I understand how they write us off like that. My best friend in particular, he was miserable throughout most of his young life when I knew from middle school through highschool. He honestly had almost nothing going for him but he was extremely smart and did have a very deep sense of humour so we connected, but he was extremely narcicistic and depressed, suicidal. He told me I pretty much saved his life and he would've killed himself if it weren't for me. I saw the potential in him and I enjoyed his company enough to basically take the bad end of the relationship and let him "drain me" as I had sooo much going for me at the time. He was never really happy for me unless I was doing something to directly help him, which I can somewhat understand but he took it to an extreme, he was troubled. It's like he saw the good things that were happening to me and that I was experiencing and he believed I didn't deserve it and that good things would never happen to him, which to some extent I understand. But, we split ways in college and he ended up finding his first girlfriend and losing his virginity, finding his adulthood etc. One night I saw him and he was so happy and glowing with energy that he was probably the happiest person I've ever seen in my life. The odd part is is that it seriously felt like my energy that he drained from me, I'm not saying this out of jealousy or anything you have to experience it because it was so strange.. it's like he drained my energy and now it's his. Now I'm the depressed and suicidal one and he really doesn't care about me half as much as I did him.. I understand part of it because we can't hang out now as we live in different areas and hes busy in school but it feels fucked up. Maybe I got used, It's hard for me to believe it but it could be true.. but we are still friends and I love him. It just feels like I got the life sucked out of me literally and he's not done much to return the favor so far. He admitted that he pretty much forgot about me at one point when we got in a sort of fight, so it just amazes me how you can literally save someones life and do so much for them only for them to turn their back on you and act like you've done nothing and mean nothing to them. Humans amaze me.

Your best friend is so selfish and mean. Im sorry he did this to you.

 

[ReadyasEver]

The world is full of smart people who are unsure of themselves, and idiots flowing with confidence.

This needs to be put on billboards everywhere.

 

[TAW122]

E.g., friends from the past, who used to tell you that suicide is never rational because you never know if life is going to get better, have decided they no longer like you, and therefore won't talk to you anymore?

They don't explicitly say, "Okay, now I don't mind if you kill yourself," but it's kind of implied since the lack of any further association means that they're no longer deriving value from the relationship.

Yes, you speak the truth! I can relate to many instances in my life that people have just ghosted me, dropped out of contact, and pretty much abandoned me. I do get really pissed and somewhat resentful that they won't just come out and say "hey you're really depressing, I don't want to be friends anymore." or something along those lines. I guess the reasons are that they don't find it socially acceptable (not that ghosting is any much better, but they believe it is..) and also don't want to "hurt" my feelings so they take the lazy route. Then again, fucking normies, I can't expect any logic, wisdom, or much else from them and sometimes it does make it 'easier' for me to go through with ctb'ing when the time comes.

@Nochoice That's a really shitty person, especially when you put your own well-being on the line for him and even hung around with him, yet he claimed that you never helped him or meant anything to him. Fuck that shitbag person because it's one thing to be selfish, but to discredit any (real) help from others is just wrong.