Don't wanna live or die

[overcomingfear]

Thread doesn't let me set venting but it's a rant.

I'm far from ctb but i don't wanna live. I've enjoyed less and less things with time and now i have anhedonia, don't enjoy anything. I go outside a lot this summer and its not helping. Exercise for 3 months and one day my energy levels just drop, same sleep and diet, out of nowhere hits my almost dead motivation

Future is gonna be the same, a boring low pay job again saving a bit of money every month for a potential worsening of depression

A psychologist won't help me because i don't want to share my problems with real life people and definitely won't take pills, i don't even have money for it. Mental issues aren't really treated much in Russia i think. You get drunk and freeze to death in a pile of snow in the winter that's the healing method

 

[theguineapigking]

I get you man. Its basically seems like you don't want to exist, right? I've read many posts on Reddit describing how they don't want to die or live; they simply wish they never existed. I kind of wish the same. I still prefer death over life though.

Do you wish you never existed? Or are you conflicted on life and death?


I am sorry for what you're going through. It's a very shitty feeling to have.

 

[overcomingfear]

I get you man. Its basically seems like you don't want to exist, right? I've read many posts on Reddit describing how they don't want to die or live; they simply wish they never existed. I kind of wish the same. I still prefer death over life though.

Do you wish you never existed? Or are you conflicted on life and death?


I am sorry for what you're going through. It's a very shitty feeling to have.

Yeah, i wish i didn't exist. I dont thinj i can be happy

 

[SipSop]

Thread doesn't let me set venting but it's a rant.

I'm far from ctb but i don't wanna live. I've enjoyed less and less things with time and now i have anhedonia, don't enjoy anything. I go outside a lot this summer and its not helping. Exercise for 3 months and one day my energy levels just drop, same sleep and diet, out of nowhere hits my almost dead motivation

Future is gonna be the same, a boring low pay job again saving a bit of money every month for a potential worsening of depression

A psychologist won't help me because i don't want to share my problems with real life people and definitely won't take pills, i don't even have money for it. Mental issues aren't really treated much in Russia i think. You get drunk and freeze to death in a pile of snow in the winter that's the healing method

Welcome to the limbo.

Welcome to the limbo.

The place where you can live, but you cannot enjoy it.
The place where all the pleasure and happiness is available to you but you are forced to stare at them like you are isolated, alone, behind a window.

 

[BPD Barbie]

I'm stuck in this limbo as well and it's absolute hell. I wish I could just settle on a choice and see it through regardless if it's living or dying. I just want peace on either side.

 

[BitterlyAlive]

I'm so sorry man, you're in a rough position. It really seems like there's no getting better. I can read accounts or listen to people who have improved and it usually feels like they're just mocking me and being condescending... Also, I say this every time I read about it, but fuck anhedonia. Anhedonia is its own special kind of torture....

 

[overcomingfear]

I'm so sorry man, you're in a rough position. It really seems like there's no getting better. I can read accounts or listen to people who have improved and it usually feels like they're just mocking me and being condescending... Also, I say this every time I read about it, but fuck anhedonia. Anhedonia is its own special kind of torture....

I wouldn't say it's torture. It's not good nor bad, just empty. Why do they think they're mocking u? Like look how good i feel while u still struggling?

 

[Emily_Numb]

I made a post about this today, Anhedonia. I am absolutely the same. I feel nothing. I am depressed because I can't feel any joy anymore. I want to just disappear.

 

[Crows]

Thread doesn't let me set venting but it's a rant.

I'm far from ctb but i don't wanna live. I've enjoyed less and less things with time and now i have anhedonia, don't enjoy anything. I go outside a lot this summer and its not helping. Exercise for 3 months and one day my energy levels just drop, same sleep and diet, out of nowhere hits my almost dead motivation

Future is gonna be the same, a boring low pay job again saving a bit of money every month for a potential worsening of depression

A psychologist won't help me because i don't want to share my problems with real life people and definitely won't take pills, i don't even have money for it. Mental issues aren't really treated much in Russia i think. You get drunk and freeze to death in a pile of snow in the winter that's the healing method

I feel the same way. Afraid of death so I just mantain