Venting Don't know what to do...

[avoid_slow_death]

I have nobody to talk to in real life. And I am hesitant to here because although it seems to work for others, there are those here who don't understand even when I explain or just take things I say in the wrong way, so, I am stuck. Trying not to CTB because I am afraid of hurting someone dear to me but I feel they are just waiting for me to walk away from them but I also often get paranoid because of being thrown away by almost everyone in my past....I don't know what the hell to do. Guess I just needed to say these words and likely anyone at all really doesn't give a fuck although I will likely get replies that people do. It's hard to believe that though. Even here....people are cruel and quick to dismiss. Maybe I am right. Maybe I am trash and deserve to be thrown away....

 

[mesohappy]

I know how you feel man..I keep everyone at arms length myself.I have trust issues because of people betraying me in the past.I feel like I always have my guard up.Most of the people I was close to in the past are dead or moved on and because of my own issues,its hard to make new relationships.Its the world we live in.Makes people like us feel/act this way.

I don't know you other than seeing you around here and reading this post,but Im pretty sure you aren't "trash and deserve to be thrown away".

 

[Halo13]

I can relate to this so much. In real life I don't have a single person who cares and I don't mean that in an overly dramatic way. If it weren't for going to the store to feed myself and doctor's appointments, I can go weeks or months without a single person seeing me or my phone ringing. I have no family or friends whatsoever, can't even remember the last time someone said "hello, how are you?". I am utterly and completely alone. Everyone has tossed me aside, left, died or made it clear they have more important things in their life than me. I'm used to it, I don't even bother trying anymore because the outcome is too predictable. I could be dead for who knows how long before someone realizes.

I'm genuinely sorry you feel users on here are cruel and quick to dismiss you. You're free to PM me anytime, if you want.

 

[Epsilon0]

Even here....people are cruel and quick to dismiss. Maybe I am right. Maybe I am trash and deserve to be thrown away....


This forum (though open, permissive and wonderful in many respects) is just an imperfect bunch of people, like any other social group out there in the real world.

If you look beyond the heartfelt welcomes, and kind words, you will find here the same problems in communication as you do in real life.

It's not you who is the problem - it's all of us.

 

[Letmego. Please]

You are not trash. Ok.

Honestly everyone has the same problems with people in real life, it's just that a lot of folks think the only way to get by is to put on a front & pretend all is well, mostly they are doing the same swan impression as a lot of us.

You clearly have someone you love, & who loves you, don't focus too much on what you feel this person wants or is waiting for, when we are depressed, suicidal & paranoid it is very easy to think we know 'something' when the chances are that is just what our brains have constructed to make what we are thinking about doing easier. So please speak to this person, be honest if you have to that you think they want to walk away & at least know for sure before you think more on the rest of this.