Dont know what to do

[downndone2]

I am back after months of thinking I had pulled myself out of the darkness. Got another shitstorm handed to me and been in bed for a month, unable to leave the house hardly, and paralyzed by anxiety. Faced with losing everything again, no job, and no real support. I have dogs that are my world, so I'm trying to figure out how I can make arrangements for then to be cared for once I hopefully go on.

I have to wait until probably mid to late March to CTB.

I keep trying to think of options... I have a gun 9mm, but really would only want to use chest/heart. I know this can be tricky and painful as well.
I have oxy but not sure if it is enough (10mg x 20 and probably 5mg x 20) with metoprolol (maybe 100mgx20) and dilitizem (I'm not sure how many).
Other than that hanging is my next move.

Things are Just awful and I have to go soon....

 

[dreamscape1111]

trust yourself, all the answers you're looking for are already inside you. i'm sure your dogs will help you find clarity as well. good follows the bad, the sun will peak through very soon, dear friend. whatever you decide to do, know that you're loved. an infinite jigsaw puzzle wouldn't be complete with even 1 piece missing, you are cherished as you are.

 

[downndone2]

If I can ask if I have enough on the above?

I only weigh 125lbs, 5ft 5in, and haven't taken opiates at all in months and just minimal amount then. I would hope the oxy with the heart meds would work together. I do have antiemetics as well

 

[Wormfood]

The idea of owning a gun is appealing. I'd be dead already

 

[downndone2]

I'm a female and don't wanna shoot myself in head.

I really want chest shot that'll be successful

Out of all my options, the gunshot option is last on the list

 

[FuneralCry]

The gun sounds like such a brutal and terrifying method to me, but at least those who are able to access it have it as an option. I really do understand why it would be the last option on your list though. It does sound really tiring what you have to go through and it's completely understandable wishing to be free from all suffering. It's just so horrible how life just gets worse and worse as time goes on.