Discussion Don’t know what to do with my life

[Aeselle]

Does anyone else feel like they don't know what they want to do with their life?

I think I do have some means to want to live but at the same time I can't help but have trouble knowing what I want to do now and in the future. I see that many people have families or loved ones they want to live for, not to say I don't have any but I don't want to have to live for someone else. I do want to pursue education and have a stable job in the future but what then? Do I just have to work for the rest of my life to keep living a life where I have to maintain myself just for the purpose of living a life that I feel empty and clueless about?

I feel like I can't fit in, everyone has something they want to do, people they want to be with and just purpose in general. It's not like I don't want to meet people. I just have so much anxiety when it comes to making new friends and I always tend to mess things up. I make so many mistakes not only in relationships but also the education and career field. I feel like an embarrassment to my family, I constantly compare myself to my cousins who are indefinitely doing better than me. Everything just makes me want to be invisible.

 

[F@#$]

It's too late for me. I do what I have to do,usually it's not what I want to do.

 

[assumptioncivilian]

"You will never be happy if you continue to search for what happiness consists of. You will never live if you are looking for the meaning of life." -Albert Camus

 

[derpyderpins]

Does anyone else feel like they don't know what they want to do with their life?

I have felt like that often in the past, and still wonder to some extent! At least professionally.

I feel like an embarrassment to my family, I constantly compare myself to my cousins who are indefinitely doing better than me. Everything just makes me want to be invisible.

I have also felt like this constantly, even though in hindsight I should not have. (My closest-in-age cousin is the 'do it all' woman at a bigger law firm than me with kids running around and I have to hear my mom go on about how she doesn't know how she does it.)

As long as "what you want to do" is limited to the job you want to have, you probably won't be happy or have real purpose. There are some lucky few people out there who are able to dedicate their lives to something that pays the bills, but for most of us work will be the least-objectionable thing that lets you do what matters to you the most.

For me, it is largely love that keeps me going, but I think it's a misinterpretation to classify that as me living for someone else. Yes, I care about her and want to make her as happy as possible, but that's largely because being with her and having her in my life makes me happy. Having someone to hold is a good feeling, and it's okay to want something like that.

Beyond that, though, focusing on results rather than process - while instinctual - tends to bum us out. A big hobby of mine is music production, but I've long ago given up on the idea that I'll ever be a success. I work on it because I enjoy it and I want to hear what I can make and how it improves over time. You said you want to study, but perhaps you should seek knowledge for the knowledge's sake moreso than with a pay day in mind.

It's also possible to enjoy things with no measurable "value" at all beyond it being an experience only this life can get. This is boring old guy talk, but I've been trying to find this more centered view of life recently, and that comes with an interest in simply observing. I've always liked the idea of sitting on my porch with a cup of coffee and just listening and looking, saying hi to the people that go by. I come on here and talk with people because I like that connection I can feel with them. Hopefully I don't annoy too many too much, but I like reading what they're thinking and seeing how we're all so similar, yet very different. It's a nice thing I've come to appreciate, and I'm happy to experience as many interactions as I can.

 

[MatrixPrisoner]

No way to sugarcoat this, but we are all victims of selfish, ignorant, reckless people that thought having children was a a good idea. All we can do is try and grind it out, or leave early.