Help Don’t know if I should take meds again

[Lovey]

Hi everyone, this is my first post. I've been lurking for a while now but as my date for CTB gets closer (july 9th) I'm feeling more and more lonely and more and more worried about not suceeding.

I have bipolar disorder and BPD, I stopped taking my meds over a year ago for a number of reasons, but I wonder if taking them again would make me feel a little less anxious and help with my mood swings at least until the date comes. I know for sure they won't make me feel good enough to desist of the idea of taking my life, but I will have to go to doctors appointments since my meds are provided by social security. Those psychiatrists and psychologists always treat me like shit and it would suck if it backfired (sent to the psych ward against my will).

Last time I OD'd with meds was hell because of the psychotic breakdown I had, so it's not even that I need the meds for the method because I would never use them for it again.
I just want some, ANY form of relief from the pain I'm feeling

 

[pharmacoepia]

If the meds made it worse, then no. Otherwise, take them. Suddenly going cold-turkey on meds is risky anyways.

 

[loyalskateboard]

I stopped taking my medication last year but a couple of months ago I agreed to try again. The last 'cocktail' didn't work so I'm trying something new. For me, it has been worth it. I still plan to ctb but day to day life is a bit more bearable. It's worth a try imo and you can always stop if it makes you worse. I'm sorry your psychs aren't helpful, is it at all possible to request being seen by someone else?

 

[Lovey]

I stopped taking my medication last year but a couple of months ago I agreed to try again. The last 'cocktail' didn't work so I'm trying something new. For me, it has been worth it. I still plan to ctb but day to day life is a bit more bearable. It's worth a try imo and you can always stop if it makes you worse. I'm sorry your psychs aren't helpful, is it at all possible to request being seen by someone else?

No sadly they cannot be changed :( I'm glad to know your meds are a bit helpful, I think I would be more eager to try mine again if they weren't so awful the first few weeks

 

[loyalskateboard]

No sadly they cannot be changed :( I'm glad to know your meds are a bit helpful, I think I would be more eager to try mine again if they weren't so awful the first few weeks

It just takes one correct medication to be beneficial. I understand awful side effects, trust me. Hand tremors, weight gain, nausea, increased si, dizziness, sweating, wonky blood levels... psych meds truely leave a lot to be desired. You probably already know this but sometimes it gets better if you can push through the first few weeks. I guess I'm just trying to say it's worth one more try since you can stop again if it's intolerable. Of course, it's up to you. It's a tricky situation. I wish you luck with whatever you choose to do.

 

[LittleJem]

I wish they would give you benzos to get through the first few weeks. It's unkind that they don't.

F@@k the psychiatrists, go and see them and then vent to us what a bunch of cs they are. So many of us know how nasty it can be to meet psychiatrists when you are suffering and they are so arrogant. But you just need to see them once and ensure you don't say anything to go back to psych ward.