don't have the courage to kill myself guys so what am I going to do? what ? My life has no meaning I am very bad very sad very alone 
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If you haven't yet, we highly encourage you to check out our Recovery Resources thread!
You might be able to make improvements slowly. For example you might find a book club at your local library and have an opportunity to get to know people that way. Some do volunteer work and make connections there. If you begin by approaching on the fringe and slowly make relational friendship connections, you might develop the skills to try other relational connections.
