Dont give people second changes (or a 1000 like me)

[lonesomedrifter]

I thought it would get better now that I'm pregnant. He said he will do anything.
Today me and my partner got into a fight, he beat me until I was unconscious and started puking. My whole face is red and swollen. He wouldn't let me leave, but at the same time he wanted me gone. I ran away. I am mentally ill beyond comprehension. Why do I let myself get abused like this. I didnt deserve this. But my brain and body says I have to turn back and that I love him. But I don't. I wish I never met him. I want to return to my parents, but it's done for me. I am too weak.

This will be my last post. I will hang myself in the morning, as soon as he leaves for work. Full suspension, I have no will to live, not even an a bit. My SI is gone. I'll wander through the city this night. Its peaceful, I'm listening to songs my mom used to sing me. I cant wait to wake up from this nightmare.

 

[BlackEyedDog]

Hello again, I remember your story. Your partner is not a partner, he is a monster you need to get away from. Did you ever share your story with your physician? There are social services in your country that will help you. But you must take that difficult step to leave for your safety and your unborn child. As soon as it is safe to do so, please go to your doctor, hospital or even police. I know you feel like all is lost but you have to be brave and seek help. Don't give up.

 

[Hvergelmir]

I thought it would get better now that I'm pregnant. He said he will do anything.
Today me and my partner got into a fight, he beat me until I was unconscious and started puking. My whole face is red and swollen. He wouldn't let me leave, but at the same time he wanted me gone. I ran away. I am mentally ill beyond comprehension. Why do I let myself get abused like this. I didnt deserve this. But my brain and body says I have to turn back and that I love him. But I don't. I wish I never met him. I want to return to my parents, but it's done for me. I am too weak.

This will be my last post. I will hang myself in the morning, as soon as he leaves for work. Full suspension, I have no will to live, not even an a bit. My SI is gone. I'll wander through the city this night. Its peaceful, I'm listening to songs my mom used to sing me. I cant wait to wake up from this nightmare.

Not to diminish what you've been through, but the stated reason for your suicide is quite easily neutralized.

As an outsider it's bloody obvious, that he ought to be locked up, and that you ought to move on. There's no reason for your future to entwined with this person.
If possible, talk to your parents. If not, talk to friends, or go straight to authorities.

Suicide is an important right when there's no way out, but I don't see how you are forced to stay in that situation.
I wish I could do more, but stating the obvious is the best I can do here. I wish you a speedy recovery, both physically and mentally.
Let us know if we can do anything. I don't think anyone want to see you dead, while he moves on the next victim.

 

[whywere]

For heaven's sake, call the cops and have his ass arrested.

PLEASE do NOT ctb with another human inside of you PLEASE!

1) Get his ass in jail

2) get a restraining order against him

3) If the living arrangements are such, then go to a friend's place, call your local women's shelter(s) groups

4) But PLEASE do NOT harm another soul that depends on YOU right now

%) I know it is easy to say, can be hard to do, BUT you will be a mom in x months and the joy of the little one might be immense, and the male jerk could be out of your life, except for visitation rights, if he wants them under court order, against him.

One of the times I will say this: I am 68 and have seen this through my life, called "life experience" a few times and I have the lady and her child, later on, and I can remember just how wonderful the child was, smiling and just so cheerful.

GET HIS ASS ARRESSTED and get a court order for him to stay the heck away.

Lots of HUGE hugs, love and the knowledge that you are NOT alone.

Walter

 

[AuroraB]

Please call your parents, tell them the truth, and have them come get you right away. Once you are safe with your parents, report Matt to the police and never let him anywhere near you ever again.

 

[whywere]

Please call your parents, tell them the truth, and have them come get you right away. Once you are safe with your parents, report Matt to the police and never let him anywhere near you ever again.

100% agree with everything you said.

Walter

 

[Seele]

Don't do this to yourself, you don't deserve it. He's the one who deserves to be beaten and put in jail. Everyone in your thread is right in what they say. I wish you good luck.

 

[RCan]

Hey… I can't help thinking, along the lines of other things that folks have said here, that although you are in a very difficult position right now… there is a way out… there are so many folks out there who have escaped abusive relationships before… it is definitley possible.

If you call a domestic abuse service they might be able to talk this through with you and help you to make a plan… or like folks have already mentioned you could also speak to a GP about this… or try speaking to a loved one who you know cares about you and could offer some help.

I really hope you consider at least giving them a call/talking to someone before going ahead with this… you of course deserve a chance to lead a happy, fulfilled life away from him.

Absolutely none of this is said from a place of judgement because of the choices you have made so far, I have seen first hand all the ways in which abusive relationships are incredibly hard to leave and make people feel sometimes like there is no other way.

But I also want to make you aware that there are people out there who do care about you, and services that are set up to support you and help you with what you are dealing with, and therefore there is some hope that the situation could change.

I really hope you'll be ok and wish you the best x

P.s. I wish I knew which helplines were relevant in the Netherlands… I wonder if anyone who is from there knows about this and is able to suggest a service that OP could contact?

I got this phone number for a helpline
based in Netherlands:
slachtofferhulp 0900-0101

And this for a service that runs shelters for victims:
search google for blijf van mijn lijf-huis + your city/town

I hope that makes sense! Please feel free to message here if you don't understand anything

Also this list of services based in the Netherlands:
https://www.huiselijkgeweld.nl/organisaties/voor-wie-hulp-zoekt

 

[RCan]

I just found this site called nomore.org has a international directory for dv services that you can search by region:

Netherlands • NOMORE Global Directory

nomoredirectory.org

 

[RCan]

Hey, how are you doing? Are you with us still? Thinking of you! x

 

[RCan]

Hey, I don't want to pester you…

But yeah, have been thinking about you today and feeling worried…

Hope you are ok. You deserve to be well and you deserve to be safe.

 

[Ozzyno]

Hey, I don't want to pester you…

But yeah, have been thinking about you today and feeling worried…

Hope you are ok. You deserve to be well and you deserve to be safe.

Don't waste your energy on this person, she played with me for two weeks, she doesn't want help, she wants someone to lie to, she will keep you there to feel good about herself then will erase you from her life because she doesn't give a fuck.

Because of this 'victim' here I will slash my throat as soon as possible. She will stay with her boyfriend forever, keep the baby and ruin the life of him/her.