Don't feel sad but still continue with sh and taking random pills even though I don't feel like dying rn

[•_still_here_•]

Exactly what the title says. I'm not sad anymore, quite opposite actually. I made a bunch of new friends with whom I talk to regularly and for a long time and life is better now. The stress is still there but it doesn't feel unbearable anymore. But then, I'm still continuing with sh, even though I know I should top since summer is right around the corner and it's gonna be hard to explain why I'm wearing long sleeves since where I am from, it's quite hot and humid. I tried to CTB, failed it.....and now I don't feel like trying to CTB anytime soon, not as much as before at least. But I still just take random pills for idk fun, ig? Idk, I just see them and they are just OTC meds, nothing serious but I just take them for no reason. I'm confused.

 

[Sylveon]

Same here, I just cut my arms today knowing that I'm gonna have to wear short sleeves a month later. My life is objectively better than my first year on this forum, yet I feel a strange compulsion to continue this.

I don't know if it's self-sabotage or I'm just that addicted to self-pity…

 

[dsbmloverluna]

Same here, I just cut my arms today knowing that I'm gonna have to wear short sleeves a month later. My life is objectively better than my first year on this forum, yet I feel a strange compulsion to continue this.

I don't know if it's self-sabotage or I'm just that addicted to self-pity…

i think its addiction, i do it to still alot because i just cant get it out of my mind to do it.

 

[ritahaddad]

Exactly what the title says. I'm not sad anymore, quite opposite actually. I made a bunch of new friends with whom I talk to regularly and for a long time and life is better now. The stress is still there but it doesn't feel unbearable anymore. But then, I'm still continuing with sh, even though I know I should top since summer is right around the corner and it's gonna be hard to explain why I'm wearing long sleeves since where I am from, it's quite hot and humid. I tried to CTB, failed it.....and now I don't feel like trying to CTB anytime soon, not as much as before at least. But I still just take random pills for idk fun, ig? Idk, I just see them and they are just OTC meds, nothing serious but I just take them for no reason. I'm confused.

can i ask what pills and also cuz sh has developed as an addiction now.

 

[loslassen]

same kinda, except i am frustrated and depressed but i don't want to die anymore