Venting Domestic Violence/ Ex-Husband

[EmmaD]

For the last few years I've been civil with my ex, I'll call him J, for the sake of our 2 children. (14 and 24). But this guy was evil to me when we were together. He used to spit on me, pour drinks over me, he punched me in the head and body, he once split open my head hitting me with a glass tumbler, pulled my hair out.. when I would hide in the bathroom he would disconnect the electricity so I'd need to walk through the house in darkness not knowing where he was or what he would do. My hand got cut open during one attack.
Recently he sent me a nasty text so I blocked him….once and for all..He should think him self fucking lucky I was nice to him all those years. And now I'm just thinking why was I even civil to him after we divorced? I guess to save my children from knowing the truth.
But now they think he's the nicest bloke ever. Go on about how calm and 'zen' he is. When I know the truth (I actually used to write a diary when it was happening so have what he did on record)
They are assuming I'm the bad guy in it all.. that I've blocked him now unfairly as I'm the mental one.
It would damage my 14 yr old to know the truth about him, but is it time I tell my 24 year old the truth? I'm tired of being the bad guy! I have all this pressure building inside me of how unfair it is. He should be in prison for what he did!! Should an adult kid ever know this about their parent though?

 

[Zaphkiel]

24y old is plenty enough to have a deep and adult conversation imo

 

[DietoLive]

Which country are you from?
Then I might help out with the laws.



And, one day you might take off and send your 14 years old out somewhere, when you can just sit with your elder son to tell him as a story of what evil kind of people exist in the world.
Then might even ask him not to be the same.
You might even wait for your 14 year to turn 18 for you to tell him too... and specially ask the elder one not to just speak it in front of his brother.

 

[EmmaD]

Which country are you from?
Then I might help out with the laws.



And, one day you might take off and send your 14 years old out somewhere, when you can just sit with your elder son to tell him as a story of what evil kind of people exist in the world.
Then might even ask him not to be the same.
You might even wait for your 14 year to turn 18 for you to tell him too... and specially ask the elder one not to just speak it in front of his brother.

I'm in the UK.. my 24 yr old is female.
My ex was arrested a couple of times for attacking me during our marriage but got released first time then next time got a fine (which I had to pay as I was the one employed!!)
We divorced in 2011 so it's a while ago. But I'm still so angry.

 

[DietoLive]

I would have loved to hear your case in detail and connect with you, if you don't mind.
Can we connect?

 

[EmmaD]

I would have loved to hear your case in detail and connect with you, if you don't mind.
Can we connect?

You can message me if you like?

 

[DietoLive]

I'm in the UK.. my 24 yr old is female.
My ex was arrested a couple of times for attacking me during our marriage but got released first time then next time got a fine (which I had to pay as I was the one employed!!)
We divorced in 2011 so it's a while ago. But I'm still so angry.

Would you want him to get punished lawfully?
Then we might do so.
What's his age, if it feels safe for you to tell?

You can message me if you like?

Actually, I still haven't got the provision of it yet.
Sorry for that.
But, can we connect somewhere else, like Reddit, Instagram?

 

[EmmaD]

Would you want him to get punished lawfully?
Then we might do so.
What's his age, if it feels safe for you to tell?

I've looked this up. I don't believe the law could do anything now. I continued being married to him for a few years after the last physical attack. It was just emotional/ verbal abuse the last 3 or 4 years.
He is 45.

 

[DietoLive]

I've looked this up. I don't believe the law could do anything now. I continued being married to him for a few years after the last physical attack. It was just emotional/ verbal abuse the last 3 or 4 years.
He is 45.

Are you both still married?

 

[EmmaD]

Would you want him to get punished lawfully?
Then we might do so.
What's his age, if it feels safe for you to tell?

Actually, I still haven't got the provision of it yet.
Sorry for that.
But, can we connect somewhere else, like Reddit, Instagram?

Message me when you are able to use DMs. It only takes posting a few times for them to be enabled. I don't like giving links to myself offsite.

Are you both still married?

No I'm married to someone else who knows all my history.

 

[DietoLive]

Message me when you are able to use DMs. It only takes posting a few times for them to be enabled. I don't like giving links to myself offsite.

No I'm married to someone else who knows all my history.

It was nice talking to you.

 

[AerialBoundaries]

The truth is always the best option, even for the younger kid.

Why should he be protected? My dad headbutted my mum one night after a party because my mum kicked his sisters out of the house that were causing trouble. I was months old and asleep in the bedroom when this happened. I only found out about this once I was in my 20s. I assume your kids are on good terms with him hence the apprehension to speak out, but I already hated my dad.

He has never once shown remorse. It sounds like your ex hasn't shown remorse and tried to change his ways either.

You might be the bad guy for a while if you tell them, but you won't need to carry this burden with you any longer.

 

[DietoLive]

For the last few years I've been civil with my ex, I'll call him J, for the sake of our 2 children. (14 and 24). But this guy was evil to me when we were together. He used to spit on me, pour drinks over me, he punched me in the head and body, he once split open my head hitting me with a glass tumbler, pulled my hair out.. when I would hide in the bathroom he would disconnect the electricity so I'd need to walk through the house in darkness not knowing where he was or what he would do. My hand got cut open during one attack.
Recently he sent me a nasty text so I blocked him….once and for all.. He should think him self fucking lucky I was nice to him all those years. And now I'm just thinking why was I even civil to him after we divorced? I guess to save my children from knowing the truth.
But now they think he's the nicest bloke ever. Go on about how calm and 'zen' he is. When I know the truth (I actually used to write a diary when it was happening so have what he did on record)
They are assuming I'm the bad guy in it all.. that I've blocked him now unfairly as I'm the mental one.
It would damage my 14 yr old to know the truth about him, but is it time I tell my 24 year old the truth? I'm tired of being the bad guy! I have all this pressure building inside me of how unfair it is. He should be in prison for what he did!! Should an adult kid ever know this about their parent though?

Telling the truth is definitely the option, but the way you should present it to them is what you should really care about. Not to leave any wrong impression about yourself, you should check.

For the last few years I've been civil with my ex, I'll call him J, for the sake of our 2 children. (14 and 24). But this guy was evil to me when we were together. He used to spit on me, pour drinks over me, he punched me in the head and body, he once split open my head hitting me with a glass tumbler, pulled my hair out.. when I would hide in the bathroom he would disconnect the electricity so I'd need to walk through the house in darkness not knowing where he was or what he would do. My hand got cut open during one attack.
Recently he sent me a nasty text so I blocked him….once and for all..He should think him self fucking lucky I was nice to him all those years. And now I'm just thinking why was I even civil to him after we divorced? I guess to save my children from knowing the truth.
But now they think he's the nicest bloke ever. Go on about how calm and 'zen' he is. When I know the truth (I actually used to write a diary when it was happening so have what he did on record)
They are assuming I'm the bad guy in it all.. that I've blocked him now unfairly as I'm the mental one.
It would damage my 14 yr old to know the truth about him, but is it time I tell my 24 year old the truth? I'm tired of being the bad guy! I have all this pressure building inside me of how unfair it is. He should be in prison for what he did!! Should an adult kid ever know this about their parent though?

Hi, I just pm you.
Can you please check that quickly?

It's urgent.