Does suffering make you more accustomed to life?

[White_Room293]

If you experience bad things on a daily basis will that make you "stronger" as society says it will?

 

[Shakespear's Brother]

If you experience bad things on a daily basis will that make you "stronger" as society says it will?

Not necessarily. It's an empty platitude for the most part, used to justify meaningless suffering.

 

[Rachel74]

It as but now I'm too tired to be strong.

 

[Egddios]

Hmm...how to answer this. Have the things I've gone through made me a stronger person? Does suffering make me somehow make me more accustomed to life? Of course "they" say what doesn't kill you makes you stronger but as others have mentioned, this is more of an empty platitude. It's sort of like those "Live, Laugh, Love" signs some people hang in their homes. Maybe the pain I've experienced, the trauma, made me more resilient up to a point, but I guess I'm ultimately succumbing to the darkness. Darkness is the only way I can describe it. I have PTSD, MDD and panic disorder - I'm at a point where I rarely leave my apartment (only if I absolutely have to, to either go to the bank to take out the rent money, or go to the doctors, or grab a few groceries). I spend most of my time in bed, which feels safe to me, and I feel myself slowly shutting down. I used to have, despite it all, an optimistic view of life and for people, but yeah...I also realize lately the wounds I've endured (multiple rapes, abuse, etc.) have left deep scars. Then, if I read what's going on in the world, the cheeto in chief, ugh - it solidifies and/or reinforces my thoughts I'd truly prefer to be dead. It's been enough for me already. I made it to 36, which still surprises me. I have no desire to continue on.

My therapist asked me the other day if I'm still having thoughts of suicide and I was like "yeah, but passively". Ha. No way I want to end up being sectioned, and I can see that on the horizon if I continue this decline without intervening myself, aka ending my life.

All this said, I don't believe life is suffering. Many, many of us do suffer and are in pain, being exploited, abused, and have no choice or chance. But no, this is not life as it's meant to be. The best memories I have are of being genuinely loved, accepted and encouraged. I'm grateful I got to experience that.

 

[Pykul]

If you experience bad things on a daily basis will that make you "stronger" as society says it will?

Its not so much experiencing things as it is overcoming negative events.

 

[Ruffian]

Hmm...how to answer this. Have the things I've gone through made me a stronger person? Does suffering make me somehow make me more accustomed to life? Of course "they" say what doesn't kill you makes you stronger but as others have mentioned, this is more of an empty platitude. It's sort of like those "Live, Laugh, Love" signs some people hang in their homes. Maybe the pain I've experienced, the trauma, made me more resilient up to a point, but I guess I'm ultimately succumbing to the darkness. Darkness is the only way I can describe it. I have PTSD, MDD and panic disorder - I'm at a point where I rarely leave my apartment (only if I absolutely have to, to either go to the bank to take out the rent money, or go to the doctors, or grab a few groceries). I spend most of my time in bed, which feels safe to me, and I feel myself slowly shutting down. I used to have, despite it all, an optimistic view of life and for people, but yeah...I also realize lately the wounds I've endured (multiple rapes, abuse, etc.) have left deep scars. Then, if I read what's going on in the world, the cheeto in chief, ugh - it solidifies and/or reinforces my thoughts I'd truly prefer to be dead. It's been enough for me already. I made it to 36, which still surprises me. I have no desire to continue on.

My therapist asked me the other day if I'm still having thoughts of suicide and I was like "yeah, but passively". Ha. No way I want to end up being sectioned, and I can see that on the horizon if I continue this decline without intervening myself, aka ending my life.

All this said, I don't believe life is suffering. Many, many of us do suffer and are in pain, being exploited, abused, and have no choice or chance. But no, this is not life as it's meant to be. The best memories I have are of being genuinely loved, accepted and encouraged. I'm grateful I got to experience that.

I hate trying to use the emojis on my phone - I was trying to send you a hug as a like seems inappropriate. I'm sorry you have to be in therapy and still suffer.

My story is very similar. I'm just very defiant at my core, and when I'm not beating myself up, I tend to focus on the shit people with mental health issues have to eat. And it depresses me.

I've been in therapy for about 21 years, most of them with a very abusive therapist who made me worse. And I have no recourse because I have a drug history, a lot of it's due to my underlying diagnosis and because of her.

And my psychiatrist is a total dick, but I NEED MY MEDS! So I listen to his medication advice and tune out his bullshit about me personally. My therapist knows me too well to lecture me. And he's the only thing that kept me from ending it yesterday. Partial.

No, my suffering hasn't made me stronger at all. My therapist says I'm the strongest person he knows, but neither one of us know why.

I wish I could say hang in there with your therapist, it's always darkest before the dawn, etc., yadda, yadda, yadda. But that shit's not for us.

 

[Egddios]

I hate trying to use the emojis on my phone - I was trying to send you a hug as a like seems inappropriate. I'm sorry you have to be in therapy and still suffer.

My story is very similar. I'm just very defiant at my core, and when I'm not beating myself up, I tend to focus on the shit people with mental health issues have to eat. And it depresses me.

I've been in therapy for about 21 years, most of them with a very abusive therapist who made me worse. And I have no recourse because I have a drug history, a lot of it's due to my underlying diagnosis and because of her.

And my psychiatrist is a total dick, but I NEED MY MEDS! So I listen to his medication advice and tune out his bullshit about me personally. My therapist knows me too well to lecture me. And he's the only thing that kept me from ending it yesterday. Partial.

No, my suffering hasn't made me stronger at all. My therapist says I'm the strongest person he knows, but neither one of us know why.

I wish I could say hang in there with your therapist, it's always darkest before the dawn, etc., yadda, yadda, yadda. But that shit's not for us.

I'm sending YOU a big hug.

I, too, am defiant at my core. Or at least, I was more defiant until after this last round of ECT. I used to feel very inspired to advocate for Right to Die, as well as mental health reform, but I've lost steam.

I hear you.

 

[Ruffian]

Its not so much experiencing things as it is overcoming negative events.

Reallly? I've overcome a lot and I don't think it's done anything to make me stronger. In fact, it's made me weaker in some ways. Like I have a Master's degree, because I'm good at school, but I can't put it to use because I always get indignant by how people with similar disabilities as us get treated by people in power. Or people who get into the field because they want to "make a difference," but don't know The incredible balls it takes to help people with "invisible disabilities."

How have you made lemonade from life's lemons? I turn everything into a rocket fueled mess of bipolar mania combined with BPD rage. It's insane, and the remorse and embarrassment from my actions is near impossible to get over. I would love to hear what works for you.

This is the recovery forum, so I'm very interested. Thanks.

 

[Nem]

Nope, only brought me closer to the end
Peace/hugs

 

[Pykul]

Reallly? I've overcome a lot and I don't think it's done anything to make me stronger. In fact, it's made me weaker in some ways. Like I have a Master's degree, because I'm good at school, but I can't put it to use because I always get indignant by how people with similar disabilities as us get treated by people in power. Or people who get into the field because they want to "make a difference," but don't know The incredible balls it takes to help people with "invisible disabilities."

How have you made lemonade from life's lemons? I turn everything into a rocket fueled mess of bipolar mania combined with BPD rage. It's insane, and the remorse and embarrassment from my actions is near impossible to get over. I would love to hear what works for you.

This is the recovery forum, so I'm very interested. Thanks.

We

Reallly? I've overcome a lot and I don't think it's done anything to make me stronger. In fact, it's made me weaker in some ways. Like I have a Master's degree, because I'm good at school, but I can't put it to use because I always get indignant by how people with similar disabilities as us get treated by people in power. Or people who get into the field because they want to "make a difference," but don't know The incredible balls it takes to help people with "invisible disabilities."

How have you made lemonade from life's lemons? I turn everything into a rocket fueled mess of bipolar mania combined with BPD rage. It's insane, and the remorse and embarrassment from my actions is near impossible to get over. I would love to hear what works for you.

This is the recovery forum, so I'm very interested. Thanks.

Congestions on your Masters!
I gave up on my Bachelor's when I found out, at the end of the third year, that I could no longer use a BS in zoology to enter a physical therapy certification program and that there were only two such programs remaining and both were filled. Thought about giving up then. But, I took what credits I could and put them to use to attain an associates in nursing and then becoming a registered nurse first assistant making about $40/hr. Supported a family of 5 quite comfortably.
I took what was left of a failure and turned it around. That's how I see this scenario.

 

[Hexen]

I think what happens is you just start to feel numb. You start to feel bored of that negative sensation. Like losing parents, you will feel terrible for some time but eventually you will get accustomed to the pain and move on with your life. It will still sting but not as much.

 

[Susannah]

To a certain point, pain makes me stronger. But it's also exhausting for my body and mind, and I need a fair amount of time to recover in between. So if life wasn't "so short", I would probably end up being a superwoman;). When that said, this superwoman would definately lack some emotions, and struggle in relationships.

 

[tomz323]

I think suffering can make or break you, it definitely broke me.

 

[Misanthrope]

Probably not. What is even meant by stronger? For the most part this view just seems romanticised or even dismissive of the entirely erosive nature of pain. If it does make you stronger it will likely come at a horrible cost. Plenty of pain has no value at all and just kills people. Or kills them enough to be alive but haunting their own life. I think it is possible to pull value from pain for some. Or use prior suffering as a fuel for motivations you align with. But the blanket notion it makes you stronger is absurd.

You only have to point at all the people who have been weakened permanently by being kept in states of suffering. To the extent even when free of that suffering they reproduce it as it is now familiar and to be without it is alien. Or the people who have quite literally lost their minds because of it because those states of suffering live on in the mind long after. You also only have to point at the rates of suicide in prisons or other hell holes. Or in response to people in chronic pain conditions. Who if this phrase of idiocy was true should be the strongest people on the planet. Running suffering centres where you too can for a price advance in strength by being tortured as they are but for a fee.

It is just another trite phrase that means nothing. Another way to downplay suffering and societies role in it and the environments of suffering it has normalised. Or perhaps said by well meaning people as a way to try and give simplistic meaning to you being in a pained state.

 

[SlackJim]

I think some distinction can be made from how you deal with the situation. for example if you grow up in an abusive environment, if you are dependant on your abuser/s and have no way to escape the situation - this will almost certainly traumatise you and leave you weaker/less confident to tackle current problems. on the other hand if you are given a difficult situation, but you feel like you have a level of control - yes you are in danger but you can take action to improve your situation - this will make you stronger and more confident/able to tackle future problems.

every person's situation is different, and there are so many variables, but no, to the original question, I don't think it is the suffering that makes you stronger, but more how you deal with it (and dealing with it badly can have the opposite effect)