Does lockdown make you feel more or less suicidal?

[SanJunipero1]

I feel like I've pressed pause on my suicidal feelings. In my head, there's no point in doing anything now, I might as well wait and see what the new world looks like and if there's a place for me in it. Things are either gonna be hell on Earth, in which case I'm sorted as already have my escape route but there's a chance now that the whole world is coming to terms with loss and trauma, there more be more empathy...

Be curious to hear how others feel.

 

[SleeplessSoul]

It's given me more clarity and time to think about what I want to do and how I would do it. I think I'm more frustrated than anything else? I'm still thinking about it but I have to wait it out because I'm stuck home 24/7

 

[I’mDone]

Not at all. It's probably changed my timeline a little because I can't travel, and selling property is difficult right now. But the additional time in almost 100% isolation has made me even more certain that I want to ctb.

 

[Nem]

It's made me feel like death even more, things are getting closer to the end and can't afford another failed attempt either
Peace/hugs

 

[TimeToBiteTheDust]

I'm feeling less suicidal. Found things to do and distract myself at home. I'm playing a lot of music and listen as much as I can while I'm alive.

 

[GoBack]

More. Before this the daydream of being somewhere else kinda kept me going. That can't happen now.

I been living in isolation for so long anyway but the enforcing of it is making panic go through the roof.

I'm a paradox, can't handle being locked in so won't go to psych hospital (again) but will self isolate and not go outside. My brain has truly fucked me

 

[Kamiotesoro]

Coming back from college to my family home and having to spend more time with family and living in the same room in which my previous attempts were made has definitely made me more suicidal. However, it definitely made it less easy to commit since I cannot book a hotel room and I'm scared of being found if I do it at home

 

[Despondent]

It hasn't really changed my life It just goes to show that my life has always been me "social distancing".

On the side note, my thoughts are the same but they're not as heavy at the moment.

 

[PrettyMoose]

I've been in self-imposed lockdown and plotting my death way before the official lockdown started so the isolation is nothing new to me. I am a little interested in seeing what happens but I don't feel like much is going to change so I still intend to die. It's just slightly delayed.

 

[StuckAF]

It makes me feel worse, because at least I was able to spend most of the day around other students and not alone at home. Now I have all this time to just think about it, maybe it's for the better, been trying to ignore it for years. It's time to make a decision.

 

[Klee]

I personally feel much worse, everything that was helping me through my days has gone. Job, therapy, friends, swimming, eating out. Just..gone.

 

[BrokenAngel8]

Much worse. I cant stand being with my whole family 24/7. Before this, eventho I spend my time mostly home, everyone else is not, and I can limit my interaction. This is just utterly frustrating.

 

[Brick In The Wall]

This lockdown has completely and royally fucked the progress I've made. It may even be the determining factor of whether I continue to try to recover or just say fuckit and CTB.

 

[FireFox]

More sucidal and my birthday coming does not help with matters as well.

Last year i planned to kill myself 2 days before my birthday (may) and then the lockdown came thus ruining my plans.

I am disappointed because i will have live longer even though i dont want to and dont even deserve to . I am still going to age even though i find it unbearable.

I cant do my hobbies anymore.
-Following politics is a hobby i enjoy . I cant anymore as it all about covid19 . In the UK it is 24/7 news coverage bloody hell it is doing my head in. The local elections are cancelled here.
-Watching eurovision. Thats been cancelled
-Going shopping and visting museums i cant do it anymore.

All i do is restrict my eating as i feel good when i eat less and love having a small frame which i want to maintain . I am size 12 but now can fit in size 10 clothing.

 

[DeathNoot]

Both?? Lockdown doesn't help when trying to recover from agoraphobia lol but at the same time even thinking about recovering was extremely stressful and making things worse so the pause on life is calming

 

[LMLN]

Much much worse. My normal social go-to's are off limits.

 

[muffin222]

My life hasn't really changed. I've been isolating myself for a long time

 

[Lethe]

Yeah I've lived in isolation my whole life so it hasn't changed anything either.

 

[Nohopeinhell]

My life is one big lockdown. No change here.

 

[MyStateKilledMe]

This lockdown is the very reason I decided to CTB. Hence, my name.

My state has been under a total quarantine since March, and I don't see it ending until late summer. Strict social distancing laws will remain until 2021 at least. I'd rather be dead than live like that.

 

[darkhorse256]

It has made me more suicidal. I can't meet the one person I love and I have no idea when I can meet him again. I'm locked in here with my abusive family. I have to constantly try to not look depressed and hide the fact that I get flashbacks from PTSD or they'll get even more mad at me. The best part is that tmy parents constantly pat themselves on the back for being good parents and they try to gaslight me into thinking they are.

 

[peacefully31425]

It stressed me out at first. I've since then come to terms with it, especially now that I have the sweet release sn offers in my bathroom cabinet The only major downside is that going to the supermarket is not as easy as it once was, curtailing the already limited amount of time I spent outside my house.

 

[LLawliet]

I almost killed myself twice and I've been cutting a lot more....
This has been taken a really bad toll on my mental health especially because I don't have the best relationship with my parents and I still live with them.

 

[BPDbitch]

Isolation has changed very little about my day to day life. A depressing realisation lol. Although I'm struggling with the fact I can't visit my loved ones as they keep me relatively sane.

 

[WinterFaust]

I also haven't seen any changes because I've been in major self isolation and had no where to go these past several months. The stimulus check was a positive for me since I have no income but aside from that, it's been more or less the same.

 

[Oh so tired]

Worse
The stress of being confined and the uncertainty of the situation are hard to bare.

 

[KuRsAnI]

It personally hasn't made me felt more suicidal, since i'm on meds that would make me stay at home anyways.

Personally, I want to ctb because I enjoy nothing out of this life, and thus have no reason to live

 

[Bct]

Sort of. I don't care if I'm infected by the COVID-19 (as long as I take measures so others won't be infected) and I'm still able to go outside. What makes me anxious is more related to my job & hope my suicide will take away the anxiety.

 

[Slow85]

No different to be honest ........ ‍

 

[Rockman]

No different at all.