Discussion Does it frustrate anyone else that we are not allowed to choose our fate?

[SHThrowAway213]

My husband has said I'm not "allowed" to try to kill myself.
The goverment and mental health services and literally everyone else on the whole entire world says we can't die unless they basically say so.
If the world is truly changing and getting more open-minded about topics like this, then surely we should be allowed to choose what we want to do to ourselves.
If we had the resources to carry out our deaths properly and humanly, we wouldn't be taking up resources of the health care services and other various services.
It's just very frustrating that I'm basically forced to stay alive against my own wishes

 

[Shakespear's Brother]

My husband has said I'm not "allowed"

Irrespective of CTB, this sounds so dysfunctional and harmful. Spouses should not subjugate and infantilize their partners.

 

[SawItOnce]

and literally everyone else on the whole entire world says we can't die unless they basically say so

Untrue. We here don't say that.

 

[NerdyNihilist]

They say CTB is an act of selfishness, yet these people want us to stay alive, for their own pleasure, regardless of how we feel.

Sounds a bit hypocritical to me.

 

[Heart of Ice]

Nobody chooses anything. Our fate is written into our DNA the day we are born. Society is a non-factor.

 

[Shakespear's Brother]

Our fate is written into our DNA

Oh, so biology plays a role in determining whether one is successful in completing suicide?

 

[SHThrowAway213]

Irrespective of CTB, this sounds so dysfunctional and harmful. Spouses should not subjugate and infantilize their partners.

He doesn't allow me to drink either.
He's really good otherwise, it's just these 2 topics we disagree on

 

[helpfulfriendonwout]

I frequently have the thought that our governments and system's forcing us to stay alive is one of the more tyrannical things I can imagine.
Imagine if it was legal to go any hospital and cbt... You could be put under like for any other procedure. Have you ever been put under? It's a very pleasant experience. Then all of your pain would be done. Instead, we have to take risks in doing it ourselves and hope that it won't be too agonizing or fail, leaving us permanently damaged. Our current system is probably bad for everyone involved, keeping people alive who want to die is not only inhumane, but it frequently drains resources, as these suffering people tend to need a lot of healthcare. Suicide doesn't even innately do damage to loved ones, there have been many societies where suicide was considered a respected choice. It's our own society teaching loved ones that they should feel terrible when a loved one cbts that causes the pain they may feel. We are sick, and if we cbt, that's just the end of our struggle with a long illness like any other physical illness, which shouldn't be any more upsetting to loved ones than diseases that people associate with being purely physical.
So instead of getting compassion and respect from our system's that benefits everyone, we get pain, fear and suffering, and literal imprisonment if we are believed to be a danger to ourselves. For those of us that know that cbt is the right choice; not only will they not help us do what we need to do for the good of everyone, but they expend large amounts of resources to stop us

Edit: Also, wouldn't it be great to know that if we ever became so disabled that we couldn't even attempt to cbt on our own, than we could get it from a hospital? I believe the statistic is that some 70% of people will need to have others make healthcare choices for them at some point in their lives because they are unable to do it for themselves(which is why everyone is recommended to have a living will)...that's a disburingly high chance of eventually being too messed up and probably in a lot of pain to even think straight. I'd love to sign a form that if I was ever unable to make decisions for myself, to painlessly put me down.

 

[a.n.kirillov]

Yes, but I try to be understanding of ignorant people, since we all are.

They say CTB is an act of selfishness, yet these people want us to stay alive, for their own pleasure, regardless of how we feel.

Sounds a bit hypocritical to me.

If you think about it, depression actually is pretty self-centered; selfish is a pretty value laden term, though.

 

[Moonicide]

Yes, very much so. I felt like there was no way out until I found this forum. I hope as time goes by the world will let us die with dignity. I mean, we have assisted suicide in some states. So it's going to happen sooner or later... It's just so unfortunate what we have to do in order to exit this life.

My mother and I have discussed death. She told me when she was young like me she wanted to die too and would often tell her mother. But there's a lot of reasons why she stopped herself, culture being one of them. If we take our own lives in our culture it means we'll always be stuck in limbo and won't pass on peacefully. Which I don't believe, but it's what keeps her here. I know when I end my life she will understand why... It just sucks that she's going to have to say goodbye to me rather than me saying goodbye to her. It's a heartbreaking to do as a mother and I feel bad I'm doing it to her. But in the end, it is the right thing to do for myself.

 

[XXX]

I think that paradoxically knowing it is an option might make some people less suicidal. Often the despair comes out of helplessness and lack of autonomy - the person is trapped in a situation with no way out and there is no end in sight. But if you knew that you *can* get out if you so choose it gives you agency.

It really pisses me off that suicidal people are considered irrational or mentally ill. Now that I have discovered the "suicidal internet" - most of those people are not irrational at all. Sure, some of us are mentally ill - but so many people cite loneliness, financial ruin, chronic pain, loss of everything that mattered. These are perfectly reasonable and accurate assessments of their situation. It is a matter of opinion whether it is a reason to die or not.

"There is always hope" - theoretically perhaps, but it seems to me that most of these people assess their situation perfectly accurately. Again, it is a matter of opinion whether it is desirable to stick around hoping for an exceedingly unlikely outcome.

At this forum I see serenity and wisdom. Not unlike when people come to terms with the death of their own or of loved ones, or the mortality inherent to humanity in general. I don't see why it should be such a taboo to go at your own volition. Why is it so different?

 

[Heart of Ice]

Oh, so biology plays a role in determining whether one is successful in completing suicide?

It probably plays a role in who considers it in the first place.

 

[Conker]

Fate sounds just like another Draconian trick, the mere mention of it irks me. You are sovereign & shouldn't be meddled with by other retarded creatures.

6-ate

 

[MelancholyPie]

Most methods are unavailable to me because I have a difficult time trying to overcome my instinctive fear of death. I just wish it was a simple choice available to me, as it is in some countries (or so I heard). I wish that I could just, sign some papers, leave my things behind for my family and be put to sleep peacefully. I am so scared of pain and so lacking in resources that it seems even ctb is not an option for me. I can't bear with this pain

 

[NerdyNihilist]

Most methods are unavailable to me because I have a difficult time trying to overcome my instinctive fear of death. I just wish it was a simple choice available to me, as it is in some countries (or so I heard). I wish that I could just, sign some papers, leave my things behind for my family and be put to sleep peacefully. I am so scared of pain and so lacking in resources that it seems even ctb is not an option for me. I can't bear with this pain

Personally, I'm more afraid of dying, rather than death itself due to having low tolerance for pain and discomfort. Not to mention the possibility of failure and the consequences that come along with it. Let's say that if I had 99.9% chance of success on CTB, that one fraction of a percent chance of failing keeps me away from attempting. I really don't like the idea of ending up in a vegetative state...

What also bothers me sometimes, is that some people refer to CTB as "the easy way out".
I find that to be very demeaning towards the people who have taken their own lives, and the ones who are contemplating it.
There's alot to consider when it comes to ending your own life. It's not something you do on impulse.
It ain't "easy" by any means.

 

[imstillhungry]

Agreed. That also goes for being 'saved' against my will after a suicide attempt. What gives anyone the right to force me to live against my will? I'm the one who has to suffer every day, not them. This society is HELL

 

[Death.]

It is clear to me that society as it stands is nothing short of tyranny in the sense that one is literally forced to live and function in life in conformity of the norm.

 

[Sweet emotion]

My husband has said I'm not "allowed" to try to kill myself.
The goverment and mental health services and literally everyone else on the whole entire world says we can't die unless they basically say so.
If the world is truly changing and getting more open-minded about topics like this, then surely we should be allowed to choose what we want to do to ourselves.
If we had the resources to carry out our deaths properly and humanly, we wouldn't be taking up resources of the health care services and other various services.
It's just very frustrating that I'm basically forced to stay alive against my own wishes

I couldn't agree with you more. I like in America and in some states you can die with dignity but you have to have six months or less to live. Don't people realize that there are medical conditions out there that don't physically kill you but the physical pain that they cause is agony and makes like you feel like you're actually dying? Like mine for example. Complex regional pain syndrome. My cousin for example. She has multiple sclerosis and has been in a nursing home for as long as I can remember. Probably twenty years. She can't move. Literally she can't move. She lies in bed every second of every day. And due to diabetes her legs had to be amputated. So many people in my family have felt bad for saying this but this poor woman is better off dead. She has no quality of life! It is absolutely heart breaking. I can't believe this is life you know? I'm not ignorant. I always knew bad things could happen to people but not shit like this! I think if you have a chronic illness, mental, physical, or both, and one that keeps getting progressively worse, you should be able to go to a hospital to die with dignity. My heart breaks for everyone out there who is forced to live against their will. We should be able to choose our own fate. No one has to deal with our problems but us so no one is getting hurt if we were euthanized. Also we wouldn't have to worry about being in pain it if our attempt is going to fail. We could have our family around us and say goodbye. That is why one of my heroes was Dr. Kevorkian. He wasn't a murderer. He had such sympathy for people that he wanted to help them escape their own personal hell.

 

[MelancholyPie]

Personally, I'm more afraid of dying, rather than death itself due to having low tolerance for pain and discomfort. Not to mention the possibility of failure and the consequences that come along with it. Let's say that if I had 99.9% chance of success on CTB, that one fraction of a percent chance of failing keeps me away from attempting. I really don't like the idea of ending up in a vegetative state...

What also bothers me sometimes, is that some people refer to CTB as "the easy way out".
I find that to be very demeaning towards the people who have taken their own lives, and the ones who are contemplating it.
There's alot to consider when it comes to ending your own life. It's not something you do on impulse.
It ain't "easy" by any means.

It really isn't easy. It takes a whole lot of courage and daring to do it, otherwise I would already have done it many years ago, instead of staying here not knowing what to do to ease the pain.

 

[BridgeJumper]

Never do anything to help me get better, turn me down at every treatment center under the sun
Force me to stay alive and suffer purely so they can feel better.
Im so done with this dystopian society.