Today I heard that my neighbor's dad died. I used to hang out with this neighbor a lot during the first few summers I lived here, along with every morning on the bus in 8th grade (6.5 years ago.). The dad died of lung cancer. When I found out today I was very disturbed and depressed, and I also felt bad for him, like his smoking took years away of his life. Whenever anyone dies, I always contemplate death and find myself feeling very disturbed by it. But at the same time, I know logically, death isn't bad, except it takes away future life joy/pleasures. I feel like the fact that I was disturbed by my neighbor's death means I actually have some death anxiety myself, despite being suicidal. And this terrifies me, because it means that even if I'm totally sure I don't want to live anymore, I have to overcome my death anxiety in order to achieve suicide. My neighbor's recent death made me realize I still do have death anxiety and perhaps still do value life on a primitive, instinctual level. Is anyone here disturbed by death in other people, but not afraid of your own death?
sunny.sativa
organic
- Apr 2, 2019
- 317
I'm fascinated by death and dead bodies and causes/effects.
I can't stand to even imagine my loved ones dying, I don't want to. I'll love them with everything I have forever and while we have each other. I refuse to think of the end of their lives, because I don't want to ever NOT be with them.
But strangers? Or acquaintances? I'm alllll over that shit, show me the bloooooood
I can't stand to even imagine my loved ones dying, I don't want to. I'll love them with everything I have forever and while we have each other. I refuse to think of the end of their lives, because I don't want to ever NOT be with them.
But strangers? Or acquaintances? I'm alllll over that shit, show me the bloooooood
JadedGray
Life Eternal
- Jul 24, 2018
- 991
Not really. I just see it as being a natural part of life. I think that they are lucky to have passed on and to have left this world behind.
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Escaper Boy
累坏了...
- Apr 11, 2019
- 245
Every time I heard about death, my mind was filled with jealousy. Why does it have to be them, not me?! There was one guy in the neighborhood that got hit by a rock on the head (someone threw a rock at him). He died on the way to the hospital. I was like, omg, his death was so 'easy'. I wished I could trade place with him instead.
There were also many other "easy death" cases happened. One middle age man tried to put/fix an antenna on the roof. He touched nearby electrical cable and fainted instantly. He also died on the way to hospital. So, easy! Here I am struggling coming up with perfect ctb method with so much planning and preparation. Life is so unfair.
There were also many other "easy death" cases happened. One middle age man tried to put/fix an antenna on the roof. He touched nearby electrical cable and fainted instantly. He also died on the way to hospital. So, easy! Here I am struggling coming up with perfect ctb method with so much planning and preparation. Life is so unfair.
BridgeJumper
The Arsonist
- Apr 7, 2019
- 1,194
sunny.sativa
organic
- Apr 2, 2019
- 317
I'm considering paying $20 and staying on documentingreality... it's got the best content I've come across.
Chalken
Decaying
- Nov 20, 2018
- 214
No, it will come for everyone eventually. Tbh I feel kinda jealous of people who successfully committed suicide or died early. But people who die early, not by suicide, probably wanted to live. I wish I could trade lives with those people.
I was never afraid of death as the cessation of life, but I am very afraid of physical pain. I hate all physical sensations and the human body. If pain did not exist at all, I would have nothing to fear (that's the only thing i'm afraid of), I always envied the dead.
EmotionlessWanderer
Specialist
- Jan 19, 2019
- 352
No it doesn't disturb me. Heck even loved ones or relatives dying doesn't disturb me. I guess I'm sociopathic that way.
Can be just that you're afraid of dying and have this anxiety of dying.
Or.. it can just be you as a person and thats a good thing because im the exact same around death and just even the suffering of others. Im necessarily not afraid of death or have death anxiety. But whenever someones dying or just dead, i literally think about it for days, and feel so horrible, feel like shit and so sad for them and think about them. Notice how im saying THEM, excluding how i feel about death as a whole. You cared about him as a person, and even thought about what led up to his death and felt bad for his mistakes such as smoking and bad karma in lung cancer.
I dont care about death or have death anxiety, whether its myself dying included. But i really care about others when there life has ended. Even if its PEOPLE i dont even know, and have heard of through acquintances and what not; or even celebrities. I'm shaken up by it mentally and emotionally. And i feel so bad, i think about them, and its as if im feeling the pain that their own families are feeling over their loved ones death. Alot of that comes as an empathetic person, even if its something that doesnt even directly involve you, you still wind up ultimately caring. Outside of this, i feel the same exact way in other situations, like if people i know are suffering through problems or depression. I ultimately feel their emotions and care alot and have to force myself to get involved and help them out and force them to vent to me or talk to me so i can do something about it, even if i have literally nothing to do with it.
IronTusk
Experienced
- Apr 10, 2019
- 266
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