does anyone know what this is

[v1car10us]

so ever since i was a young kid, inanimate objects had a direct association in some sort of physical reaction to how my body interprets it right? like if i touch a certain part of an object with a certain amount of pressure, im satisfied. but if not, i get panicky. it is an intense feeling of urgency to do the aforementioned, a feeling of suffocation, almost. the same thing happens in other aspects of my life. if i don't curl my toes, touch brim of my forehead, or the underside of my nose, the same feeling suffocation occurs. another thing is that i tend to do everything 32 times, in two separate sets of 16, and when i count it in my head a certain melody would play, if that makes sense like "duh na nuh na nuh na nuh da nuh na nuh na nuh na nuh" in repetition. two sets of 16, equal to 32. for example, when i used to play video games, i would break my controllers at times because i would press the keys too hard and they wouldn't work, all to get this feeling out of my head. any opinions on this? im not crazy, i know this is weird as FUCK which is why i am reaching out to you guys. what's wrong with me?

 

[EmptyMan]

There's nothing wrong with you
But it sounds like autism ( I'm by god no expert or something )

 

[LegaliseIt!]

I'm not an expert but people with autism experience this, as well as people with OCD.
This is from
mind.org.uk
They have a lot of other information as well.
Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD)
Explains obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), including possible causes and how you can access treatment and support. Includes tips for helping yourself, and guidance for friends and family.

• Download PDF (265.1KB)
• |
• 
  7.7K

Pages in this section
What is OCD?
Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) has two main parts: obsessions and compulsions.

• Obsessions are unwelcome thoughts, images, urges, worries or doubts that repeatedly appear in your mind. They can make you feel very anxious (although some people describe it as 'mental discomfort' rather than anxiety). You can read more about obsessions here.
• Compulsions are repetitive activities that you do to reduce the anxiety caused by the obsession. It could be something like repeatedly checking a door is locked, repeating a specific phrase in your head or checking how your body feels. You can read more about compulsionshere.

It's not about being tidy, it's about having no control over your negative thoughts. It's about being afraid not doing things a certain way will cause harm.
You might find that sometimes your obsessions and compulsions are manageable, and at other times they may make your day-to-day life really difficult. They may be more severe when you are stressed about other things, like life changes, health, money, work or relationships.
What's it like to live with OCD?
Although many people experience minor obsessions (such as worrying about leaving the gas on, or if the door is locked) and compulsions (such as avoiding the cracks in the pavement), these don't significantly interfere with daily life, or are short-lived.
If you experience OCD, it's likely that your obsessions and compulsions will have a big impact on how you live your life:

• Disruption to your day-to-day life. Repeating compulsions can take up a lot of time, and you might avoid certain situations that trigger your OCD. This can mean that you're not able to go to work, see family and friends, eat out or even go outside. Obsessive thoughts can make it hard to concentrate and leave you feeling exhausted.
• Impact on your relationships. You may feel that you have to hide your OCD from people close to you – or your doubts and anxieties about a relationship may make it too difficult to continue.
• Feeling ashamed or lonely. You may feel ashamed of your obsessive thoughts, or worry that they can't be treated. You might want to hide this part of you from other people, and find it hard to be around people or to go outside. This can make you feel isolated and lonely.
• Feeling anxious. You may find that your obsessions and compulsions are making you feel anxious and stressed. For example, some people feel that they become slaves to their compulsions and have to carry them out so frequently that they have little control over them. You can read more about anxiety here.

 

[v1car10us]

There's nothing wrong with you
But it sounds like autism ( I'm by god no expert or something )

well i sure hope not lol. other than like a FEAR of being social, i don't really lack social SKILLS. also i've never seen a person with autism start freaking out because he can't keep touching his nose because people are starting to look at him strangely lol

I'm not an expert but people with autism experience this, as well as people with OCD.

it would probably be a safe bet if i had OCD, believable at least. i just don't wanna be seen as one of those people who self diagnose that kinda stuff

I'm not an expert but people with autism experience this, as well as people with OCD.
This is from
mind.org.uk
They have a lot of other information as well.
Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD)
Explains obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), including possible causes and how you can access treatment and support. Includes tips for helping yourself, and guidance for friends and family.

• Download PDF (265.1KB)
• |
• 
  7.7K

Pages in this section
What is OCD?
Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) has two main parts: obsessions and compulsions.

• Obsessions are unwelcome thoughts, images, urges, worries or doubts that repeatedly appear in your mind. They can make you feel very anxious (although some people describe it as 'mental discomfort' rather than anxiety). You can read more about obsessions here.
• Compulsions are repetitive activities that you do to reduce the anxiety caused by the obsession. It could be something like repeatedly checking a door is locked, repeating a specific phrase in your head or checking how your body feels. You can read more about compulsionshere.

It's not about being tidy, it's about having no control over your negative thoughts. It's about being afraid not doing things a certain way will cause harm.
You might find that sometimes your obsessions and compulsions are manageable, and at other times they may make your day-to-day life really difficult. They may be more severe when you are stressed about other things, like life changes, health, money, work or relationships.
What's it like to live with OCD?
Although many people experience minor obsessions (such as worrying about leaving the gas on, or if the door is locked) and compulsions (such as avoiding the cracks in the pavement), these don't significantly interfere with daily life, or are short-lived.
If you experience OCD, it's likely that your obsessions and compulsions will have a big impact on how you live your life:

• Disruption to your day-to-day life. Repeating compulsions can take up a lot of time, and you might avoid certain situations that trigger your OCD. This can mean that you're not able to go to work, see family and friends, eat out or even go outside. Obsessive thoughts can make it hard to concentrate and leave you feeling exhausted.
• Impact on your relationships. You may feel that you have to hide your OCD from people close to you – or your doubts and anxieties about a relationship may make it too difficult to continue.
• Feeling ashamed or lonely. You may feel ashamed of your obsessive thoughts, or worry that they can't be treated. You might want to hide this part of you from other people, and find it hard to be around people or to go outside. This can make you feel isolated and lonely.
• Feeling anxious. You may find that your obsessions and compulsions are making you feel anxious and stressed. For example, some people feel that they become slaves to their compulsions and have to carry them out so frequently that they have little control over them. You can read more about anxiety here.

well, seems like OCD is definitely what's happening here. maybe i can talk to my therapist about this and hopefully get some treatment or medication for it

 

[LegaliseIt!]

well i sure hope not lol. other than like a FEAR of being social, i don't really lack social SKILLS. also i've never seen a person with autism start freaking out because he can't keep touching his nose because people are starting to look at him strangely lol

it would probably be a safe bet if i had OCD, believable at least. i just don't wanna be seen as one of those people who self diagnose that kinda stuff

well, seems like OCD is definitely what's happening here. maybe i can talk to my therapist about this and hopefully get some treatment or medication for it

You have good insight about not self diagnosing, and talking to a professional to get a real answer.
You also put your experience clearly into words that will help your therapist.
I am not any sort of expert, but knowing where to find information (example: mind.org.uk , helps me decrease anxiety and focus my thoughts until I can speak to a professional.
I hope that your therapist is helpful.

 

[v1car10us]

You have good insight about not self diagnosing, and talking to a professional to get a real answer.
You also put your experience clearly into words that will help your therapist.
I am not any sort of expert, but knowing where to find information (example: mind.org.uk , helps me decrease anxiety and focus my thoughts until I can speak to a professional.
I hope that your therapist is helpful.

of course, friend. happy holidays to you !