Does anyone know of any ways to experience literal hell to offer some relief or substitute for ctb urges?

[vesttigeel]

okay so basically I have been getting this impulsive feeling lately, one that i've had frequently in the past, and I feel like experiencing some pain equivalent to getting hit by a minivan might put it off for a while.
this is a very odd thing to ask but does anyone know how to like, experience near full body pain or just any in general without needing to buy drugs or anything - i know i could always "trip" down the stairs or something but i want to hear people's ideas. i am aware this is stupid
also anything mentally hard to process would be epic

 

[Mr2005]

Yes it's stupid. It also makes no sense. What is the point of killing yourself other to relieve the pain you're currently experiencing? If you want more keep living. It's as simple as that

 

[any%]

Mentally hard to process: I only have some psychedelics in mind. But that is a double-edged sword, you might brake permanently due to a heavy dose of e.g. mushrooms or lsd. Also it would require buying drugs. Cutting yourself doesn't cut it for you? You could take small edgy stones and put them in your shoes and proceed with your daily routine. Was the advice of my doctors when I was hospitalized in order not to cut myself.

 

[vesttigeel]

Mentally hard to process: I only have some psychedelics in mind. But that is a double-edged sword, you might brake permanently due to a heavy dose of e.g. mushrooms or lsd. Also it would require buying drugs. Cutting yourself doesn't cut it for you? You could take small edgy stones and put them in your shoes and proceed with your daily routine. Was the advice of my doctors when I was hospitalized in order not to cut myself.

yeah, i cut frequently but I am around family members who don't know about my situation so i try to control myself. I just feel as though there is a constant drumming at the back of my head telling me to do exactly the opposite though.
that thing with the rocks is quite clever actually i might try it.
doesn't cut it for you... i see what you did there

Yes it's stupid. It also makes no sense. What is the point of killing yourself other to relieve the pain you're currently experiencing? If you want more keep living. It's as simple as that

i'm not sure i want to leave the earth right now, but if i'm going to stay here I don't want to make it easy for myself

 

[any%]

Sorry for the pun, I could not resist! Did you ever try endurance training of any sort, eg. running, bicycling? It helps me a lot and it does hurt properly in a certain way, but then you also get kind of high due to the released endorphins and dopamine! Let me know how the rock thing is working for you. I did it several times and it does hurt a lot ( depending on the stones ofc).

 

[SpottedPanda]

Just exercise for six hours a day and put yourself through college, especially if this doesn't appeal to you. You'll resent doing something you don't want, suffer through the experience, and become one of life's winners unsuspectingly in the meantime

 

[vesttigeel]

Sorry for the pun, I could not resist! Did you ever try endurance training of any sort, eg. running, bicycling? It helps me a lot and it does hurt properly in a certain way, but then you also get kind of high due to the released endorphins and dopamine! Let me know how the rock thing is working for you. I did it several times and it does hurt a lot ( depending on the stones ofc).

oh yes, high intensity workouts do offer a lot of relief but I guess i've slacked off with the whole pandemic thing. I will let u kno how the stones go.
I fricken love puns man, idc how bad they are

Just exercise for six hours a day and put yourself through college, especially if this doesn't appeal to you. You'll resent doing something you don't want, suffer through the experience, and become one of life's winners unsuspectingly in the meantime

Ah yes, it's a win-win situation

 

[Mr2005]

yeah, i cut frequently but I am around family members who don't know about my situation so i try to control myself. I just feel as though there is a constant drumming at the back of my head telling me to do exactly the opposite though.
that thing with the rocks is quite clever actually i might try it.
doesn't cut it for you... i see what you did there

i'm not sure i want to leave the earth right now, but if i'm going to stay here I don't want to make it easy for myself

Try doing the right thing. It'll kill you eventually

 

[BridgeJumper]

Am I the only one here that feels this deep in my soul?
I literally asked a guy who kept sending me messages threatening to rape me till I bleed and dump me in the bush if I could come over. AND came over. Then got really drunk for a good measure and waited for the worst (still not sure what exactly happened)
I deliberately poison myself / overdose on non lethal drugs etc. I fucking drank acrylic paint after I was done with my canvas.

And many more fucked up things

 

[xkidx]

i recommend ice baths its not meant to be painful really but it calms both ur body and mind down, i always feel alot better afterwards and during

 

[pete_x]

I think i understand your question.
Run through briar patches.

Roll naked in a patch of whatever your local stinging "devil weed" is. Unless you have leather for skin, this one should hurt, alot. Will redden you up maybe.
Possible allergry issues though.

 

[Darksektori]

okay so basically I have been getting this impulsive feeling lately, one that i've had frequently in the past, and I feel like experiencing some pain equivalent to getting hit by a minivan might put it off for a while.
this is a very odd thing to ask but does anyone know how to like, experience near full body pain or just any in general without needing to buy drugs or anything - i know i could always "trip" down the stairs or something but i want to hear people's ideas. i am aware this is stupid
also anything mentally hard to process would be epic

No it's not stupid, it's a defense mechanism, you feel like punishing yourself because you blame yourself for the struggles you've had throughout your life.
It's not your fault my friend, the journey down this path is different for everyone. It's nobody's place to tell you what you should do. You have full control of your life it's yours alone and nobody else.

 

[Alec]

okay so basically I have been getting this impulsive feeling lately, one that i've had frequently in the past, and I feel like experiencing some pain equivalent to getting hit by a minivan might put it off for a while.
this is a very odd thing to ask but does anyone know how to like, experience near full body pain or just any in general without needing to buy drugs or anything - i know i could always "trip" down the stairs or something but i want to hear people's ideas. i am aware this is stupid
also anything mentally hard to process would be epic

It's not stupid, I've been having these impulses and urges too. Kinda wanna jumó in front of a car just to feel pain because then maybe this intense pressure in my head will let loose a bit for awhile. It never fucking lasts. I go through so much emotional shit it makes my body really tense which gives me killing headaches that no pill can help against and these pains basically incapacitate me, I can't even get off the bed I'm too sensitive to everything smells light, and hurts so fucking bad and I just spend the whole time vomiting. When the pain passes or at least gets a bit easier I feel like I've relieved some of that pressure and the impulses and I don't want to hurt myself so much but it lasts for very short period of time, a day at most if I'm lucky and try hard not to think about shit.

I'm sorry I don't really have any ideas to help you. I just thought maybe it'll feel better to know somebody else feels at least maybe kind of like you

 

[K-O]

and I feel like experiencing some pain

i relate to masochistic impulses.
don't know bout your mental\physical\emotional tolerance levels etc- but extreme penetrations can cover them all darling x
or great art portraying brutality of human kind.. i will need a bit more info from you to suggest things..

 

[vesttigeel]

I think i understand your question.
Run through briar patches.

Roll naked in a patch of whatever your local stinging "devil weed" is. Unless you have leather for skin, this one should hurt, alot. Will redden you up maybe.
Possible allergry issues though.

fortunately for me, i do not have any allergies
or maybe, unfortunately
i live in Australia so it's basically a goldmine

It's not stupid, I've been having these impulses and urges too. Kinda wanna jumó in front of a car just to feel pain because then maybe this intense pressure in my head will let loose a bit for awhile. It never fucking lasts. I go through so much emotional shit it makes my body really tense which gives me killing headaches that no pill can help against and these pains basically incapacitate me, I can't even get off the bed I'm too sensitive to everything smells light, and hurts so fucking bad and I just spend the whole time vomiting. When the pain passes or at least gets a bit easier I feel like I've relieved some of that pressure and the impulses and I don't want to hurt myself so much but it lasts for very short period of time, a day at most if I'm lucky and try hard not to think about shit.

I'm sorry I don't really have any ideas to help you. I just thought maybe it'll feel better to know somebody else feels at least maybe kind of like you❤

thank you, yes, and i'm truly sorry we have reached the point where pain is the only thing that can stop our pain. I wish you well dude

No it's not stupid, it's a defense mechanism, you feel like punishing yourself because you blame yourself for the struggles you've had throughout your life.
It's not your fault my friend, the journey down this path is different for everyone. It's nobody's place to tell you what you should do. You have full control of your life it's yours alone and nobody else.

i respect that. hopefully this will only be temporary and i make the decision one day to stop hurting because it's what i want and i didn't have to be told by someone else that shit matters

i relate to masochistic impulses.
don't know bout your mental\physical\emotional tolerance levels etc- but extreme penetrations can cover them all darling x
or great art portraying brutality of human kind.. i will need a bit more info from you to suggest things..

this kind of music puts me in the zone... you know, the one where you wallow in the feeling of all pain in the world at once. i listen to a lot of dark wave and hauntology - any Broadcast song makes me cry. or Radiohead for that matter. i have a strong emotional connection to music and what it means, what emotions reside within it.
i'd say my physical tolerance levels are quite high but i've always been too scared to do anything exciting to test them, or rather not known where to start. as for mental and emotional, throw things at me that will cause any sort of existential crisis - like, the heaviest shit you can think of at this point, darknet gore uneases me to my core but i need to see it and feel it because it fucking happens and i'm not the one it's happening to, if you know what i mean. i often have dreams where i am purposely trying to drown myself or get close to death and they feel peaceful to me, which is fucked up, but i have also experienced sleep paralysis after being extremely stressed out and i often try to induce it myself but it is quite difficult.
could stare at a piece of art for days and still not get over the metaphor.

 

[K-O]

i often have dreams where i am purposely trying to drown myself or get close to death and they feel peaceful to me, which is fucked up,

not fucked up at all! any input that has that relief effect is important to me. there are absolutely no taboos when it comes to your taste, attractions or yearnings.
we need to indulge our selves in the things that help us.. trust your instincts.. except your self.. there are enough puritan forces out there to shame you.. so fuck that noiz! i will keep you in mind and share some cheeky "fucked up" abominable stuff with you soon my friend!

 

[Darksektori]

Hell is different for everyone, that's if it even exist. Personally I think we're already there but that's just me

 

[Lostkitten1]

Easy: get emotionally attached to someone and then make it physically and legally impossible to ever see them again. Take it from me, that's as close to hell as it's possible to get in this "great" world

 

[Lunarhour]

I like the 80's vibe

 

[PureMetanoia]

The closest I can think of is getting a severe cold on purpose, coughing, shivering and having tremendous headache/vertigo, all that jazz. It will definitely help with being so miserable and overloaded with all sorts of pain and malady that thinking will become rather.... secondary.

 

[Cashewmilk]

I was going to say get addicted to heroin but you said no drugs lol

 

[K-O]

just to feel pain because then maybe this intense pressure in my head will let loose a bit for awhile. It never fucking lasts. I go through so much emotional shit it makes my body really tense which gives me killing headaches

right so i watched this a in 2006 and i remember i related a lot. its a trashy russian flick bout a guy that inserts nails into his head and goes into a full on trip. i used to have unbearable migrains specially at high school and the military and all i could think about was doing exactly that. every time i felt a headache come on i'd bash my head with something or pour boiling water on top of it..

i need to see it and feel it because it fucking happens and i'm not the one it's happening to

COME AND SEE a cult war masterpiece from a kids point of view from the moment he joins the Belarusian resistance against the Nazis. he literally goes through hell as you mentioned in your post. a MUST SEE!

Come and See (1985) ⭐ 8.3 | Drama, Thriller, War

2h 22m | Not Rated

www.imdb.com

could stare at a piece of art for days and still not get over the metaphor.

just dive into HARMONY KORINE and WERNER HERZOG..
this one was my favorite as a teenager i relate to that family portrait a lot.

THIS DOCUMENTARY TRILOGY IS A MUST SEE! (watch by year made)
also a METALLICA sound track so- yum!

give us a shout if you in need for more.. this a little taste.
cheerz x

 

[JohnnieWalkerDead]

Hot peppers, buddy. Get eating. It doesn't cause injury and is extremely painful. For you. I recommend ghost peppers or habaneros or hot sauce made from those.

 

[vesttigeel]

not fucked up at all! any input that has that relief effect is important to me. there are absolutely no taboos when it comes to your taste, attractions or yearnings.
we need to indulge our selves in the things that help us.. trust your instincts.. except your self.. there are enough puritan forces out there to shame you.. so fuck that noiz! i will keep you in mind and share some cheeky "fucked up" abominable stuff with you soon my friend!

I appreciate that greatly! you're a legend

right so i watched this a in 2006 and i remember i related a lot. its a trashy russian flick bout a guy that inserts nails into his head and goes into a full on trip. i used to have unbearable migrains specially at high school and the military and all i could think about was doing exactly that. every time i felt a headache come on i'd bash my head with something or pour boiling water on top of it..
View attachment 37293


COME AND SEE a cult war masterpiece from a kids point of view from the moment he joins the Belarusian resistance against the Nazis. he literally goes through hell as you mentioned in your post. a MUST SEE!
View attachment 37294View attachment 37295

Come and See (1985) ⭐ 8.3 | Drama, Thriller, War

2h 22m | Not Rated

www.imdb.com

just dive into HARMONY KORINE and WERNER HERZOG..
this one was my favorite as a teenager i relate to that family portrait a lot.

THIS DOCUMENTARY TRILOGY IS A MUST SEE! (watch by year made)
also a METALLICA sound track so- yum!

give us a shout if you in need for more.. this a little taste.
cheerz x

thank you lovely! I will be sure to dive right into these. <3

Hot peppers, buddy. Get eating. It doesn't cause injury and is extremely painful. For you. I recommend ghost peppers or habaneros or hot sauce made from those.

oh yes i forgot those existed-- well, i know what i'm doing this weekend

 

[Darksektori]

Am I the only one here that feels this deep in my soul?
I literally asked a guy who kept sending me messages threatening to rape me till I bleed and dump me in the bush if I could come over. AND came over. Then got really drunk for a good measure and waited for the worst (still not sure what exactly happened)
I deliberately poison myself / overdose on non lethal drugs etc. I fucking drank acrylic paint after I was done with my canvas.

And many more fucked up things

I actually inhaled paint by accident as a kid my art teacher though I had Ebola or one of those types of illnesses, it was amusing. But I don't know about actually chugging it down like Gatorade. That's a new one for me

 

[Aonewayticketplease]

I would introduce you to one of my ex-girlfriends but she is now married to some poor bastard.

Next best thing I would suggest is one of those martial arts training classes where they toughen up your shins by kicking pieces of wood. Apparently those lessons are not well attended for some unknown reason, expect the class to be small.