Does anyone have their SN "kit" ready but waiting to ctb?

[Kali_Yuga13]

I'm at the point where all I need is the meto/AE for my SN solution. I find myself mentally delaying this as I'm concerned that I will be tempted to jump the gun and act on impulse. Part of me feels obligated to tie up loose ends but this requires me to "recover" to a certain extent to rally motivation and put on appearances. At the same time, I already feel an element of stability having gathered the resources I now have for an emergency exit strategy. Does anyone else here have their "kit" prepared as a safely blanket? I wouldn't say I'm actively planning though I'm sure the 'experts' would disagree. I just want the security of having all the tools for a reliable plan at the ready so if I do decide to ctb, I can concentrate on making peace with this life without my thoughts being clouded by desperately trying to procure things last minute.

 

[HiddenPain]

Personally when I got everything together, SN, Benzos, Painkillers, Meto etc I finally relaxed and felt a great wave of relief. I have just been taking it day by day since then but I have known for a while that I will be exiting in the coming months.

Once you gather your required items, there is no need for you to rush or be impulsive and it can all be on your terms, which is exactly what exiting should be. Whatever you do I wish you peace.

 

[Not Sure]

I even have ~27g separated in a bottle for a few weeks now. It would take me less than a minute to add water and chug the damn thing, my SI is making me postpone everyday the final act...

 

[Imagined_Euphoria]

I could always just buy a gun and ctb with it. Only reason I'm still here is that I found this forum and finally have some ways to interact again with people with my honest thoughts after many years, I feel almost happy the last two days. And I also don't want to die in this fucking heat, I want to breath in the cold air and sit somewhere in nature, probably a mountain, to pull the trigger.

 

[Kali_Yuga13]

Personally when I got everything together, SN, Benzos, Painkillers, Meto etc I finally relaxed and felt a great wave of relief. I have just been taking it day by day since then but I have known for a while that I will be exiting in the coming months.

Once you gather your required items, there is no need for you to rush or be impulsive and it can all be on your terms, which is exactly what exiting should be. Whatever you do I wish you peace.

Yes this is what I'm going for. My terms. I'm not sure what the painkiller is for in Stan's guide. It's not in my version of the PPH but I think I have some rx strength ibuprofen or extra strength Tylenol around.

 

[Alexei_Kirillov]

Personally when I got everything together, SN, Benzos, Painkillers, Meto etc I finally relaxed and felt a great wave of relief. I have just been taking it day by day since then but I have known for a while that I will be exiting in the coming months.

Once you gather your required items, there is no need for you to rush or be impulsive and it can all be on your terms, which is exactly what exiting should be. Whatever you do I wish you peace.

In the same position; the way I interact with time seems to have changed ever since I got my SN and meto. I seem to have all the time in the world, and yet no time at all...

 

[HiddenPain]

Yes this is what I'm going for. My terms. I'm not sure what the painkiller is for in Stan's guide. It's not in my version of the PPH but I think I have some rx strength ibuprofen or extra strength Tylenol around.

You'll get some nasty headaches etc, nothing to awful but painkillers will just make it less bothersome before you pass out. I'm also using propranolol, I've had tachycardia before and it's certainly not awful but if I can take something to offset it then I'm going to make life as easy as possible for myself.

In the same position; the way I interact with time seems to have changed ever since I got my SN and meto. I seem to have all the time in the world, and yet no time at all...

I don't think it's a bad thing, you take your time and do what you please, when you're ready you'll pick a time that suits you, if it doesn't directly harm someone else you should do exactly what you want. Take care of yourself.

 

[Kali_Yuga13]

In the same position; the way I interact with time seems to have changed ever since I got my SN and meto. I seem to have all the time in the world, and yet no time at all...

Yeah, I'm starting to feel an acceptance about life. Politics, war, corruption, conspiracies, financial issues, dreams left undone, natural disasters, the fate of humanity don't concern me so much now. Even if I were to be made homeless it would only hasten my departure if only through exposure or starvation. I now welcome most peoples greatest fears. I'm out of time and have the rest of my life to ponder that.

 

[divinemistress36]

Have it all together just havent tested it yet

 

[Kali_Yuga13]

Have it all together just havent tested it yet

I'm reluctant to open the packaging until I feel reasonably close to using it. I still need to get a secondary batch just in case..

 

[divinemistress36]

I'm reluctant to open the packaging until I feel reasonably close to using it. I still need to get a secondary batch just in case..

Thats how I feel to

 

[pomcustard]

Just 5 days left for me before I use it. I already have my paracetamol, anti emetics, and antacid as well.

 

[orbwithinorb]

How painless is SN exactly? I don't have it yet but that would be what would put me off of using it .

 

[Kali_Yuga13]

How painless is SN exactly? I don't have it yet but that would be what would put me off of using it .

Vizzy's Successful vs unsuccessful SN thread has numerous accounts. Rapid heartbeat, nausea and sore throat are some of the major symptoms but there's helper meds recommended in the protocol to offset them.

I differentiate between pain and discomfort. SN doesn't look acutely painful but there is an element of temporary discomfort.

I saw one video documentation of a SN ctb and it looked way more peaceful than I expected. Some fidgeting and lounging around for awhile, eyes rolling back and then awake again before finally going unconscious and rolling off the bed.

 

[orbwithinorb]

Vizzy's Successful vs unsuccessful SN thread has numerous accounts. Rapid heartbeat, nausea and sore throat are some of the major symptoms but there's helper meds recommended in the protocol to offset them.

I differentiate between pain and discomfort. SN doesn't look acutely painful but there is an element of temporary discomfort.

I saw one video documentation of a SN ctb and it looked way more peaceful than I expected. Some fidgeting and lounging around for awhile, eyes rolling back and then awake again before finally going unconscious and rolling off the bed.

Thanks for the link, I've actually been reading through that today.

Interesting you say the video documentation looked peaceful, I read on this forum that someone also saw a video documentation and it was far from peaceful. They mentioned something about the person being awake for up to 45 minutes, looking at their fingers turning blue and looking back at the camera. Was buried somewhere in the SN megathread so I can't find it now, but that sounds like hell. I wish N was still possible to get. I wonder if Fent or heroin would be more peaceful than SN ?


EDIT: Found another not so great experience - gotta say, this doesn't that peaceful to me : /

Registro em Vídeo, CTB com SN

Este tópico será sobre o registro do ctb da usuária @StrawberryPanic (21 anos) que tirou a vida dela no dia 1 de agosto às 15:30. O registro foi feito em uma video-chamada (gravada) apartir das 14:20 até às 16:40. Infelizmente o áudio do vídeo foi corrompido e só podemos deduzir apartir da...

sanctioned-suicide.net

 

[emma99]

I have my kit ready but I want to allow a little more time to see if My circumstances may change but I'm also making some final preparations:

A while back, whilst really high on a cocktail of drugs. i somehow managed to completely out of the blue remember the phone number of the family member who i will be nominating as my next of kin. To make sure it was the right number, I had to physically phone them

And although i have no time for this person. picking them as my next of kin was a process of elimination and because i heard their 'positive' voice as in the one they use whilst talking to strangers or friends. not the nasty one they use whilst talking to me. I was fucked up for a good week

But its important that i do these things. even if i don't like them. and even if they upset me. but for the moment of CTB, i want to experience a bit of time post difficult manoeuvres.

Further preparations include:

Run a few more tests on my kit..
Pack away my possessions

I'm also trying to see if i can sober up because i don't want to be hung over or intoxicated on the day although this may change.

The main reason for sobering up is that I want to do a food fast so as to avoid the mess of poop after i CTB. and I would also like to do be able to do a water fast on the day., Its a bit hard to do either when your drinking and taking drugs.

Also given that its still the summer,
i want to wait until the weather has cooled down
as I want my last day to be a day with lots of cool Air

 

[Wei yu]

是这样的，但我害怕死亡。备着会让我觉得安心，生活要是糟糕了就可以去自杀

 

[Forever Sleep]

I've had my SN kit prepared for close to 2 years now. Certain things need to happem for me to use it. I want to wait for my Dad to go first. My Meto is well out of date now- which concerns me and I guess there will come a time when the SN is out of date too- although, I haven't opened it. I'm glad I've got something prepared although, actually using it scares the shit out of me.

 

[Kali_Yuga13]

Thanks for the link, I've actually been reading through that today.

Interesting you say the video documentation looked peaceful, I read on this forum that someone also saw a video documentation and it was far from peaceful. They mentioned something about the person being awake for up to 45 minutes, looking at their fingers turning blue and looking back at the camera. Was buried somewhere in the SN megathread so I can't find it now, but that sounds like hell. I wish N was still possible to get. I wonder if Fent or heroin would be more peaceful than SN ?


EDIT: Found another not so great experience - gotta say, this doesn't that peaceful to me : /

Registro em Vídeo, CTB com SN

Este tópico será sobre o registro do ctb da usuária @StrawberryPanic (21 anos) que tirou a vida dela no dia 1 de agosto às 15:30. O registro foi feito em uma video-chamada (gravada) apartir das 14:20 até às 16:40. Infelizmente o áudio do vídeo foi corrompido e só podemos deduzir apartir da...

sanctioned-suicide.net

Yeah that's the same video. It looks like they pulled most of it offline. There were a handful of segments in the google drive, approximately 45 mins. A good part of that was just laying in bed and talking to the person on the other end. Her nails were already bluish when she mixed and drank the SN. It looks like old nail polish. Maybe when she displayed them later there was a pronounced difference but it's hard to tell on video. She seemed very casual the whole time, laying in bed, talking to her ctb partner, looking at her fingernails and nodding off until the end. She did not look panicked or in distress to me and I would hardly call that "hell". People get 100x worse than that with drugs and alcohol for recreational purposes only they wake up the next day.

 

[Achlys]

I've had my SN kit prepared for close to 2 years now. Certain things need to happem for me to use it. I want to wait for my Dad to go first. My Meto is well out of date now- which concerns me and I guess there will come a time when the SN is out of date too- although, I haven't opened it. I'm glad I've got something prepared although, actually using it scares the shit out of me.

I'm in a similar position—my SN and anti-emetics have been prepared for just over two years. I haven't touched or opened them in the hopes of preserving them until the day comes when I need to use them. SN is supposed to be shelf-stable, but my metoclopramide is definitely past its expiration date. I might have to reacquire a fresh bottle, time permitting. I, too, have found relief at having a way out even if the thought of drinking SN makes my stomach churn...

 

[orbwithinorb]

Yeah that's the same video. It looks like they pulled most of it offline. There were a handful of segments in the google drive, approximately 45 mins. A good part of that was just laying in bed and talking to the person on the other end. Her nails were already bluish when she mixed and drank the SN. It looks like old nail polish. Maybe when she displayed them later there was a pronounced difference but it's hard to tell on video. She seemed very casual the whole time, laying in bed, talking to her ctb partner, looking at her fingernails and nodding off until the end. She did not look panicked or in distress to me and I would hardly call that "hell". People get 100x worse than that with drugs and alcohol for recreational purposes only they wake up the next day.

I'll admit I didn't watch it so I was basing my thoughts on what people said about the video. It seems to have been taken down, but if you have it, please send it my way - i'd appreciate it that.

 

[Kurai]

I have everything I need but I still need to test my sn, when I feel ready I'll do it whenever that is.. :/

 

[Kali_Yuga13]

是这样的，但我害怕死亡。备着会让我觉得安心，生活要是糟糕了就可以去自杀

是的，就像如果情况变得太糟糕的话，需要购买人寿保险一样。(I used google translate)

 

[heavyeyes]

I'm in a similar situation although if I lived alone I would've done it already. I live with family and my time alone is very limited so planning around this has proven to be extremely difficult. Also I want to stock up on sn beforehand just case it gets banned in my country and I fail my attempt the first time.