Discussion Does anyone have some form of anxiety disorder or OCD?

[midastic]

I do and its the main reason why I want to CTB.
Anxiety really sucks, I'm not talking about social anxiety rather I am talking about anxiety in general. Anxiety sucks everything away from me and I don't think there was ever a time I really wasn't so fearful. Imagine feeling fearful just for searching up a single word or even just typing this post up. That's how I feel for every second. OCD is another thing I really hate, I'm a hoarder and I just can't feel like getting rid of anything even if I haven't touched it in years.

I would love to hear from people that have anxiety and how it is like for them.

 

[Johnnythefox]

I have the anxiety problem in most situations, the social anxiety is the one that kills me though. Simple things that people take for granted are mostly out of bounds for me .

 

[worldexploder]

I've had severe anxiety nearly all my life. Didn't turn into panic disorder until I was in my early teens. What helped me is Xanax and propranolol. I don't think I have OCD.

I'm constantly tense and never relaxed. Always on edge. This makes depression that much worse.

 

[midastic]

I've had severe anxiety nearly all my life. Didn't turn into panic disorder until I was in my early teens. What helped me is Xanax and propranolol. I don't think I have OCD.

I'm constantly tense and never relaxed. Always on edge. This makes depression that much worse.

Exactly what I face, though I wouldn't say its really a panic disorder.

 

[worldexploder]

Exactly what I face, though I wouldn't say its really a panic disorder.

Sorry you have to go though that too. Wouldn't wish this shit on my worst enemy

 

[GeorgeEastman]

Worse than ever. Some old lady working at the mall scared me half to death by asking if I was finding everything OK.

It's over. Anxiety. OCD, BPD, depression, the burgers, fries, cokes, poison, voodoo, curse, tarot cards. Whatever it is, I've got it and should sell tickets for people to see it because right now they egg all the shit on purposely for free kicks.

 

[midastic]

Worse than ever. Some old lady working at the mall scared me half to death by asking if I was finding everything OK.

It's over. Anxiety. OCD, BPD, depression, the burgers, fries, cokes, poison, voodoo, curse, tarot cards. Whatever it is, I've got it and should sell tickets for people to see it because right now they egg all the shit on purposely for free kicks.

This, whenever someone asks me that question. I start to think if I did something morally wrong.

 

[GeorgeEastman]

Ever get the "you'll grow out of it" bullshit story from people?

I used to hear it when I was younger. Now an accomplished professional at the age of 35 and with the shit getting worse, all I can do is say I told you so. Just like I told them I wanted to shoot myself 14 years ago. I knew life was always going to be awful, and it pretty much has been.

 

[midastic]

Ever get the "you'll grow out of it" bullshit story from people?

I used to hear it when I was younger. Now an accomplished professional at the age of 35 and with the shit getting worse, all I can do is say I told you so. Just like I told them I wanted to shoot myself 14 years ago. I knew life was always going to be awful, and it pretty much has been.

I do get that alot from people. Yes I do agree that with some anxieties are something you can grow out of but I end up finding anxiety in other stuff or get stuck in an anxiety that is forever.

 

[GeorgeEastman]

The only real effective way I've found of lowering it is starvation. When I withdrew from Xanax, it made me too sick to eat. Without energy, the anxiety has no fuel. You just lay there tired as hell and say whatever it is I'm afraid of, just let it happen, no longer care.

My problem now is even on the little amount I eat, I've lost enough weight that it is now enough to fuel anxiety. But if I cut more food now, I'll be so damn scrawny I'll have to pay people to open damn doors for me. I have to maintain what I've got until at least cancer comes and takes me the rest of the way to the grave if I'm too damn chicken shit to take myself.

 

[Dead_Inside]

I do and its the main reason why I want to CTB.
Anxiety really sucks, I'm not talking about social anxiety rather I am talking about anxiety in general. Anxiety sucks everything away from me and I don't think there was ever a time I really wasn't so fearful. Imagine feeling fearful just for searching up a single word or even just typing this post up. That's how I feel for every second. OCD is another thing I really hate, I'm a hoarder and I just can't feel like getting rid of anything even if I haven't touched it in years.

I would love to hear from people that have anxiety and how it is like for them.

PTSD. I am ok for the most part. Unless I am put into a situation that triggers it..... and the fear that that will happen causes some anxiety around situations in which I am unfamiliar with. I am lucky, and I know that because having watched a friend of mine suffer with general anxiety and severe panic attacks- I know that the fact I can ever have a "normal" day is fucking fantastic.
But yes- the panic is fairly all consuming. I become completely unaware and unreasonable- I will hurt myself in my own pathetic fearful attempt to escape the situation.... it's embarrassing and remembering a time before this existed is more than depressing. I just wanted to be a fucking normal person ....

 

[TheLastTrip]

God, so much anxiety, about everything and everyone.

And I hate myself that so much more when it causes me to do awkward stuff or miss out on the normal things that others enjoy ('I can't see clearly where the entrance to that shop is and I don't want to look stupid so I'll just keep walking', 'I'd love to say how cool that person's top is, but what if they take it the wrong way or have a go at me? I'll just say nothing', 'Oh that looks like a nice place to eat, hmmm there are a few people there and I don't fancy trying to eat alone in front of them, I'll just pretend I didn't walk 30 minutes specifically to get to this place and go to a supermarket nearby and buy a microwave meal instead [that was Stout Burgers and Beers in LA btw!])

 

[midastic]

God, so much anxiety, about everything and everyone.

And I hate myself that so much more when it causes me to do awkward stuff or miss out on the normal things that others enjoy ('I can't see clearly where the entrance to that shop is and I don't want to look stupid so I'll just keep walking', 'I'd love to say how cool that person's top is, but what if they take it the wrong way or have a go at me? I'll just say nothing', 'Oh that looks like a nice place to eat, hmmm there are a few people there and I don't fancy trying to eat alone in front of them, I'll just pretend I didn't walk 30 minutes specifically to get to this place and go to a supermarket nearby and buy a microwave meal instead [that was Stout Burgers and Beers in LA btw!])

I feel the same way. I usually get fearful though once I did the action and always think about its consequences.

PTSD. I am ok for the most part. Unless I am put into a situation that triggers it..... and the fear that that will happen causes some anxiety around situations in which I am unfamiliar with. I am lucky, and I know that because having watched a friend of mine suffer with general anxiety and severe panic attacks- I know that the fact I can ever have a "normal" day is fucking fantastic.
But yes- the panic is fairly all consuming. I become completely unaware and unreasonable- I will hurt myself in my own pathetic fearful attempt to escape the situation.... it's embarrassing and remembering a time before this existed is more than depressing. I just wanted to be a fucking normal person ....

Man, that really sucks. Having PTSD is like the worse thing that can happen. I know people that have it and just any single detail from their traumatic incident can just set them off.

 

[TheLastTrip]

I feel the same way. I usually get fearful though once I did the action and always think about its consequences.

Yup, been there and done that, I am so so damn sensitive. Hell I am still kicking myself from someone on Friday persuading me to ride one of those electric scooters on the pavement when I told him you shouldn't, and then getting told off by someone. Just a quick comment, something most people would brush off in an instant, but I have felt guilty for over two full days now, and then it's a downward spiral of kicking yourself about feeling bad so you feel worse, then rinse and repeat.

Brains suck.

 

[Dead_Inside]

Man, that really sucks. Having PTSD is like the worse thing that can happen. I know people that have it and just any single detail from their traumatic incident can just set them off.

I always feel worse for those who have to live in that fear on a daily basis. I can't image how hard that really is. It took me years to get to a place where my PTSD was not crippling my whole life. For awhile after it started I was completely trapped by it- I could barely leave the house .... it was inside my head- my thoughts made me panic. So I think in a small way I got a taste of what others must be suffering all the time.

 

[midastic]

Yup, been there and done that, I am so so damn sensitive. Hell I am still kicking myself from someone on Friday persuading me to ride one of those electric scooters on the pavement when I told him you shouldn't, and then getting told off by someone. Just a quick comment, something most people would brush off in an instant, but I have felt guilty for over two full days now, and then it's a downward spiral of kicking yourself about feeling bad so you feel worse, then rinse and repeat.

Brains suck.

I remember my anxiety pushed me to do something really stupid a few months ago when I thought I did something wrong and I ended up calling some number. Let's just say that it didn't end very well and it ended up prolonging my anxiety and generated more anxiety.

I always feel worse for those who have to live in that fear on a daily basis. I can't image how hard that really is. It took me years to get to a place where my PTSD was not crippling my whole life. For awhile after it started I was completely trapped by it- I could barely leave the house .... it was inside my head- my thoughts made me panic. So I think in a small way I got a taste of what others must be suffering all the time.

Yeah, it was really bad for them. They managed though mostly with therapy. PTSD still hits them like a train though.

 

[Fcancer]

I do and its the main reason why I want to CTB.
Anxiety really sucks, I'm not talking about social anxiety rather I am talking about anxiety in general. Anxiety sucks everything away from me and I don't think there was ever a time I really wasn't so fearful. Imagine feeling fearful just for searching up a single word or even just typing this post up. That's how I feel for every second. OCD is another thing I really hate, I'm a hoarder and I just can't feel like getting rid of anything even if I haven't touched it in years.

I would love to hear from people that have anxiety and how it is like for them.

I have severe social anxiety, so not quite to your extent, I also have OCD tendencies. I am quite confused how you have OCD if you're a hoarder though, not really two things I would put together??

 

[Snee]

i had ptsd but a shaman heals my mind

 

[midastic]

I have severe social anxiety, so not quite to your extent, I also have OCD tendencies. I am quite confused how you have OCD if you're a hoarder though, not really two things I would put together??

Hoarding isn't my only OCD symptom, I do rituals and other things such as obsessive fears/guilt. But coming to your point, hoarding is an OCD symptom because people with OCD tend to feel anxiety or guilt whenever they get rid of something that they perceive to be of value when it really isn't. (Eg. people with severe OCD will keep a brown paper lunch bag either to reuse it or they see value in it)

I've done hypnosis daily for 3 months and I'm starting to naturally be calm in most social situations. It still comes up but its not so overwhelming. The underlying issue is me wanting to escape from myself cause theres a lot of self hate. To solve the self hate.. I dunno man theres a lot of subconscious crap. It could be due to many things.. being aware is the first step I guess. Once youre aware then what? how do you fix it?

This calls for therapy : P

One of the reasons why started to become so anxious is because I "started" to become more aware of reality. Once that happened, it was full chaos for me.

 

[invisiblycrippled]

Yeah, severe OCD, and been anxious my whole life, including somewhat severe social anxiety, aggravated and partly caused by my autism. This on top of my severe chronic physical illness that has me mostly bedridden.

What a shit show.

 

[Fcancer]

Hoarding isn't my only OCD symptom, I do rituals and other things such as obsessive fears/guilt. But coming to your point, hoarding is an OCD symptom because people with OCD tend to feel anxiety or guilt whenever they get rid of something that they perceive to be of value when it really isn't. (Eg. people with severe OCD will keep a brown paper lunch bag either to reuse it or they see value in it)



One of the reasons why started to become so anxious is because I "started" to become more aware of reality. Once that happened, it was full chaos for me.

Hmmmm interesting I have a lot of other OCD tendencies, but am a polar opposite on the hoarding scale.