Discussion Does anyone find it hard to cope with BPD?

[BlackPoppet]

I'm finding it increasingly difficult to cope with my BPD. I can't manage my emotions today. I am also hearing auditory hallucinations. Does anyone else feel like this today?
Any input would be greatly appreciated.
The voice who I call George is back en masse and he is saying nasty things to me. I'm so upset.

 

[terry_a_davis]

I am also hearing auditory hallucinations.
The voice who I call George is back en masse and he is saying nasty things to me. I'm so upset.

Have you ever taken meds for this? Does your doctor know about these symptoms?

 

[BlackPoppet]

Have you ever taken meds for this? Does your doctor know about these symptoms?

I used to take antipsychotic in 2015for hallucinations but stopped them due to bad side effects.
But won't take them ever again. I feel manic too( I'm bipolar) undiagnosed as yet.

 

[terry_a_davis]

I used to take antipsychotic in 2015for hallucinations but stopped them due to bad side effects.
But won't take them ever again. I feel manic too( I'm bipolar) undiagnosed as yet.

Did the antipsychotics get rid of your hallucinations?
I'm not saying take them again, i know they can cause some bad side effects.

 

[BlackPoppet]

Thank you so much for your concern!
@terry_a_davis .... I really appreciate it!

Here is a photo of "Giger" my African giant Millipede. He's a reall gentle bug. I thought you might like it.

 

[Final Escape]

Yes I do. I didn't know what it was for many years. Ruined my life. What's difficult is not knowing how much of it was out of your control and how much is your fault. I would like to think if I had a slightly better upbringing and the right information growing up the BPD might have not been able to ruin me so much. It is difficult to manage it. I feel like I'm in a black hole of time. Everyday is exactly the same almost. I'm lazy as fuck too. I can hardly motivate myself to do anything unless there's a big reward in some way lol! Everything feels so hard. It's the lockdown too why I slipped so badly. I was just getting better but then this situation pulled the rug out fucknay! Can't win in this stupid life ever. I badly miss my ex lover too. That was so brutal when that ended :(" I'm still not over that.

 

[BlackPoppet]

Yes I do. I didn't know what it was for many years. Ruined my life. What's difficult is not knowing how much of it was out of your control and how much is your fault. I would like to think if I had a slightly better upbringing and the right information growing up the BPD might have not been able to ruin me so much. It is difficult to manage it. I feel like I'm in a black hole of time. Everyday is exactly the same almost. I'm lazy as fuck too. I can hardly motivate myself to do anything unless there's a big reward in some way lol! Everything feels so hard. It's the lockdown too why I slipped so badly. I was just getting better but then this situation pulled the rug out fucknay! Can't win in this stupid life ever. I badly miss my ex lover too. That was so brutal when that ended :(" I'm still not over that.

I can hardly motivate myself most days either. My Flat/Apartment is a pig sty and I let it all build up. I can't clean it because I don't know where to start. BPD and depression have really done a number on me. I would say certain events that happened when I was young and in my teen years probably contributed/ caused my BPD. I've had depression ever since I was 16 years old. I really resonate with you a lot. Almost similar experience.

 

[Final Escape]

The learned helplessness and not feeling like I can tackle my problems, difficulty asking for help. Wondering why I should even try? I need people to really motivate me too. If there's nobody around I really just unravel because I depend on others for my self regulation. Horrible procrastination.

 

[BlackPoppet]

Yeah I procrastinate all the time. I need constant reassurance and I have to have 3-4 people tell me the same thing. I used to hate being alone and would always seek company cos I hated myself

 

[Myforevercharlie]

Yeah I procrastinate all the time. I need constant reassurance and I have to have 3-4 people tell me the same thing. I used to hate being alone and would always seek company cos I hated myself

Sounds like me, but others have more trouble dealing with me than I do with myself..

 

[BPDbitch]

Yes!!! It's a daily struggle. I wake up not knowing what kind of day I'm going to have, whether it's incredible or incredibly depressing. I don't have hallucinations but I do experience dissociation which is very distressing. Sending you hugs x

 

[Nem]

Sorry to hear this! What kind of symptoms does bpd present itself with? I have met some people with it and it seems to have variations in symptoms from one person to the next
Peace/hugs

 

[itsamadworld]

I'm finding it increasingly difficult to cope with my BPD. I can't manage my emotions today. I am also hearing auditory hallucinations. Does anyone else feel like this today?
Any input would be greatly appreciated.
The voice who I call George is back en masse and he is saying nasty things to me. I'm so upset.

I was having difficulties yesterday managing my emotions. Very suicidal, depressed, anxiety, and using copious amounts of weed to cope. SSRI,s and psych meds, tried them, they just don't work for me......oh, I do have a rather intense side of my personality, which I manage/ sequester all the time, which I call my War-( followed by my name) ...uug haha.. Anyways, I am better today, still depressed....but that's a continuous low I've lived with all my life, try to hide it to pacify the masses, but it's exhausting.... I used to have auditory hallucinations, but that was when I was younger...

 

[BlackPoppet]

I was having difficulties yesterday managing my emotions. Very suicidal, depressed, anxiety, and using copious amounts of weed to cope. SSRI,s and psych meds, tried them, they just don't work for me......oh, I do have a rather intense side of my personality, which I manage/ sequester all the time, which I call my War-( followed by my name) ...uug haha.. Anyways, I am better today, still depressed....but that's a continuous low I've lived with all my life, try to hide it to pacify the masses, but it's exhausting.... I used to have auditory hallucinations, but that was when I was younger...

Yes it's taxing trying to act alright in front of other people. I've given up trying to act perfectly upstanding. All this " polite society " stuff is annoying. Having to act fine all the time. It's quite fake. I'm glad you are feeling better today.

 

[K-O]

HMM.. WHEN I WRITE IVE BPD I MEAN BORDERLINE.. JUST REALIZED ITS WRITTEN THE SAME
GUUUURRRLLL--- DONT GET ME STARTED.. I DUNNOW WHERE TO BEGIN BAAAHHH
I NEED MORE TIME HERE TO OPEN UP.. BUT- YES I FEEL U EVAN IF ITS NOT THE SAME BPD..
X
THIS SHOULD SUM IT UP FOR NOW...