Discussion Does anyone feel like the sunshine makes it worse?

[lawlietsph]

For as long as I can remember, sunny days have been the worst for me. I don't know why, but dark and rainy days are much easier for me. I know a lot of people enjoy the dark, "cozy" feeling too, but my interest is in the specific sunny days.
Do you guys ever feel like sunshine alone is making you want to die? I wonder, why is that?
I can't really explain the feeling, but going out and getting hit in the face by the sunlight, or just waking up when the sun is shining through the window - It is the absolute WORST. I feel this horrible anxiety and depression, like the whole world is so good and happy except me. I deeply hate sun and I really wonder why. Does anyone know anything about this?
I have moments when I look into the sunny sky and all I feel is pure disgust.
It doesn't matter if it's autumn, winter, summer or spring - the slightest sunshine is making me want to die, but like physically makes me want to stab myself in the head or something.
I find it really strange and I am curious if any of you can relate or possibly know the reason.

 

[AllTheseQuestions]

I understand. For me it is just a reminder of the good days, and a reminder that the show carries on but I am no longer apart of it.

 

[Gangrel]

It's not as bad to me but i hate the sun, heat and summer. I hate the daytime, it's when i'm forced to work. I much prefer rainy or grey days when it's cold and i can wear a hoodie that makes me comfy. I hate feeling sweaty and dirty like i do during the summer.

 

[jujujabebe]

I love the sun. I love the warmth. I have a hormonal disorder so I get cold quite easily. I've always been drawn to the warmth. But the thing that upsets me is that I can't participate. I would love to just spend a day in the grass with the sun shining on me and nothing to worry about. But I have to work a 9-to-5 so I don't get the opportunity to just be present with myself in nature. I don't even have a yard because I live in an apartment

 

[Lightkeeper]

I understand. For me it is just a reminder of the good days, and a reminder that the show carries on but I am no longer apart of it.

Well said! For me, sunny days are similar to Christmas. I guess it's both a) reminder of the early days when I was able of feeling happiness at times and b) seeing people around me all joyful while I am just existing around with my soul disintegrated, trying my hardest to look okay to not ruin other people's vibe lol

 

[Red_sleep]

I hate summer and sunshine in general. It reminds of the things i'm missing out on. It makes me feel horrible for rotting inside my room, while I should be outside in the sun doing things or going out.

I love the night time. I often go out walking at like 2 am, and just daydream while listening to music. It's the only time where I can feel some type of peace. Rain, thunderstorm, and overall bad weather makes me feel very cozy being inside. Falling asleep while it's raining is much easier for me.

 

[Wolf Girl]

I have the same problem. For me, I think it's partly sensory issues.

 

[Emeralds]

It's the opposite for me. I feel worse in the wintertime when it gets dark out early. I like going outside on a nice day. It improves my mood a little bit.

 

[TheGoodGuy]

I understand. For me it is just a reminder of the good days, and a reminder that the show carries on but I am no longer apart of it.

I hate summer and sunshine in general. It reminds of the things i'm missing out on. It makes me feel horrible for rotting inside my room, while I should be outside in the sun doing things or going out.

I love the night time. I often go out walking at like 2 am, and just daydream while listening to music. It's the only time where I can feel some type of peace. Rain, thunderstorm, and overall bad weather makes me feel very cozy being inside. Falling asleep while it's raining is much easier for me.

This sums it up for me, it reminds me of how much fun I would have outside in the sunny weather as a child with all of my friends which is a huge contrast to how it is now where I am stuck inside an apartment most of the day. To me it´s like on a sunny day especially in the summer I feel almost drawn outside like the weather is just calling for me to go outside and have some adventures again which I really want to but I have nothing to do all the fun things I did outside when I was younger I can´t anymore I can´t climb a tree I am too old for that and lack the childlike mind, the same with playing Star Wars, Dragonball etc. I lack the childlike imagination and lastly I lack friends, I need friends to go outside and have fun in the sunny weather that draw me outside but I can´t I want to but I can´t.

So I know I am missing out, I know people are out enjoying life with their social circles and it´s really hard knowing I missed out on my 20´s where people are having all these adventures as young adults have.

The last part looks like it could almost have been written by me, I love night time everything is so quiet and the night is just so melancholic which is beautiful to me and there is also a form of serenity over it. I too love going for walks also usually around 2am or later sometimes. The daytime with sunny weather is more in your face that I am not experiencing life like everyone else whereas the night everyone is asleep and the world is quiet and in lack of better words not taunting you about not having these social experiences like everyone else have.

The bad weather also makes me feel cozy, it also makes it easier on my eyes because I have sensory problems so the dark rainy days is a welcome sight for me it also makes it a lot more comfortable to be on the computer since there is no interference with the light on the screen so I can´t even play video games in the day time because the sunlight is such a distraction to me even with the curtains closed since there still is a ton of light coming through.

But with all this said I don´t always hate sunny weather I love to go on walks in special places on just the right day my favorite being a sunny autumn day with cool weather it fills me with melancholy which I think of a sort of beautiful sadness

 

[hell toupee]

I understand. For me it is just a reminder of the good days, and a reminder that the show carries on but I am no longer apart of it.

Couldn't agree more.

I feel like a ghost. And as you said a sunny day makes me feel guilty that people are out doing things to make themselves happy and I'm just not part of it. Like I'm not actually participating in this thing people call life, I'm just observing.

I can go out to somewhere like a restaurant for example, and I'll stare at the other patrons and I'll be instantly jealous that I can't simply go out to a restaurant and enjoy myself. I'll think about what kind of lives they may lead. I of course wish I had their mundane problems.

 

[shadow999]

Ever since my depression got worse I don't like it. I used to love sunshine. Now it just reminds me of all the emotions Iost to my illness...

 

[Plato'sCaveDweller]

I'm the same! I feel most comfortable during gloomy days, especially rainy ones. I don't necessarily feel like shit during sunny days, but the vibes of a gloomy day just feel like home to me.

 

[_Minsk]

same, I think its related to my depression

 

[houseofleaves]

Yep. I feel very self-conscious when I go out, and sunshine leaves me kinda vulnerable. Cloudy/rainy weather feels much more forgiving — it's like if the day is shit, i can afford to look shitty too, plus on gloomy days people pay much more attention to the sky then to other people.

 

[WhiteRabbit]

I live in a pretty warm, sunny area. I used to love sunny days back when I wasn't mostly housebound. Now they just remind me of my old life and everything I wish I could still do. If the weather is shitty I feel better about being stuck in my house.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

I hate summer and the sunny weather as it gives me sensory issues due to my autism. I also hate the heat for the same reason. I consider summer to be the worst season for me. I also prefer dark and rainy days but only if I'm inside and not soaked outside in the rain

 

[notausgang]

I spent the whole summer rotting in my house. I'm glad that summer has now come to an end in my latitude. By the way, I'm new here as of today... I've been fighting my bipolar disorder for 15 years... I can't fight anymore

 

[Life interrupted]

I get it. Sunshine and heat worsens my depression a thousand times

 

[NoPoint2Life]

I hate the heat and being outside. But weirdly I find that even though I'm inside on sunny days, it puts me in a slightly better mode. It's like the sunshine just helps somehow. The bad weather depresses me a little bit more but I do like that comfy cozy feeling it gives and it's a great excuse not to have to go out.