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RepressedMind

Miss the full ability to think
Apr 24, 2020
160
I've been dealing with a lot of serious mental issues and a lot of pain that just left me extremely mentally exhausted.. But for some reason I feel like I have the endurance to fight through it, but small stuff like stomach issues just make me think like everything is no longer worth it. I have so many reasons to want to CBT, but for no good reason, only the dumb ones make me think it is pointless to continue living.
 
TheGoodGuy

TheGoodGuy

Illuminated
Aug 27, 2018
3,080
I don´t know if it is small actually my biggest problem is my throat problem so it takes me so long to eat you wouldn´t believe and has excluded me from all my previous friends e.g. it takes me 20 minutes to eat a cheeseburger from Mc Donalds.

But still waking up every morning eating the same smoothie and having to force myself to eat at least 3 meals a day is exhausting when it takes me 45-60 minutes per meal, you know after a couple minutes of cheewing there is no taste just cheewing with no flavor yet I still have to do it to keep this body alive even though I don´t wanna be. And also the fear of choking which I have done 5-7 times in my life but my father "saved" me with the heimlich meneure every time.

Every other mundane adult task makes me wanna ctb like paying bills, earning money, grocery shopping cooking food, cleaning, treating my illnesses etc. Life was so much simpler as a child.
 
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