Does anyone ever feel like the love they give isn't the same they receive?

[snunu]

This is something that I been struggling with lately. I always operated with the mindset of if you're my friend or someone close to me ill always do anything in my power to be there for them. But lately I'm starting to realize that not everyone I know cares about me as much as I care about them. Is it a selfish wish to want to feel loved? It's something I been griping with I'd love to hear what everyone else have to say. Thank you!

 

[restless.dreams]

A few years ago, I found out that someone I loved deeply, someone I would've done anything for, never felt the same way about me. It's a terrible feeling. Maybe it's selfish, but I think it's human nature to want to be loved.

At least my cats will always be there for me :')

 

[Timothy7dff]

Yup. You do 100 things for someone. Then you ask them for something and they turn into a complete jerk.

 

[Ash’Girl]

I don't think it's wrong to wish people would invest the same energy and care towards you as you do towards them. It's just hoping to have a dynamic of 50/50 effort instead of the balance being skewed to one giving more than the other. Unfortunately it's just life. Most relationships/friendships aren't 50/50.

I used to have a bestie who I did everything with. When the shit hit the fan with multiple consecutive traumatic life events for me, he was nowhere to be seen, and it really hurt me. I had to face the realisation that he was a fairweather friend. He's been in touch since but because his absence when I really needed him hurt so much, I just have a wall up now. It's not the same. I don't hold any animosity towards him but neither will I let him close to hurt me like that again.

 

[Forveleth]

Gave everything I had to my partner for over 10 years. In return they ruined my hobbies, said horrible things to me, took all the joy from my life, and left me with no will to live.

I absolutely feel this.

 

[Ociv]

It happens often, and youre not selfish for wanting a certain type of love, its just that not very many people can give it.

With my last girlfriend, I found out that there are different types of love. there is the love I gave her, something that forces me to make unnessicary sacrafices for her wellbeing because the only thing In the world I care about is making her happy. I call this love obsession.

Then there is the love she gave me, a force of attraction that caused her to want to be near me. she wanted to do things with me and enjoy my hobbies and laugh at my jokes because she liked the look of my smile, but she still held her own wellbeing above mine. when she discovered she had this love for another man as well, she tried to date us both at once. I call this love fascination.

The love called fascination is real, but it is selfish. Obsession is selfless. A person who is obsessed will continue to love a person who is fascinated, even long after she cheated on him, because she is still happy around him, and he still cares about her happiness more than his own.

 

[billie]

"Does anyone ever feel like the love they give isn't the same they receive?"

YES YES YES

 

[snunu]

It happens often, and youre not selfish for wanting a certain type of love, its just that not very many people can give it.

With my last girlfriend, I found out that there are different types of love. there is the love I gave her, something that forces me to make unnessicary sacrafices for her wellbeing because the only thing In the world I care about is making her happy. I call this love obsession.

Then there is the love she gave me, a force of attraction that caused her to want to be near me. she wanted to do things with me and enjoy my hobbies and laugh at my jokes because she liked the look of my smile, but she still held her own wellbeing above mine. when she discovered she had this love for another man as well, she tried to date us both at once. I call this love fascination.

The love called fascination is real, but it is selfish. Obsession is selfless. A person who is obsessed will continue to love a person who is fascinated, even long after she cheated on him, because she is still happy around him, and he still cares about her happiness more than his own.

Holy shit, I would be completely destroyed being in your shoes. Hopefully you were able to move on from her without too many issues.

A few years ago, I found out that someone I loved deeply, someone I would've done anything for, never felt the same way about me. It's a terrible feeling. Maybe it's selfish, but I think it's human nature to want to be loved.

At least my cats will always be there for me :')

Aw damn, I'm sorry this happened to you. In my situation it's not so much a direct betrayal but it's like I always make to reach out, to show support to my friends but they never check up on me, if I become distant they'll never reach out to ask me if somethings happening. In some ways it makes me feel more alone than if I was actually completely isolated... Ik I should be careful with who I decide to invest my energy into but when I haven't felt loved for so long it's hard to not want to show appreciation. Sorry for the mini rant and thx for your response, you're not alone in this stay strong :')

 

[RoseGarden]

I've been struggling with exactly this. I love my friends, and my partner to death but it feels like very few of them return it. I've had people desert me for being suicidal, so I've just resigned myself to going out alone. They'll never get to know until it's to late.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

I neither give, nor receive, love, anymore. I don't have anyone to give love to. And I don't give any to myself.

 

[F@#$]

Love is a lie.