BlueButterfly111
Autistic and Heartbroken
- Dec 26, 2024
- 326
Sometimes it feels like I'm living in a parallel reality, or an alternate universe. My life doesn't feel like mine, it just doesn't feel right, it doesn't feel like my own. It feels like I either don't belong here, or I'm in the wrong lifetime, or I just belong on a different planet, or a different species. This is one reason why I yearn for death, my reality doesn't feel like it belongs to me, it doesn't feel like home.
I've heard that a lot of neurodivergent or mentally ill people feel this way. That's why sites like wrongplanet exist, that's what it feels like, idk how to explain it. Always feel like I'm longing for home, or that I want to go home. I guess you can call it derealization, I just don't feel connected to the environments around me or my family. Not because I'm trying to be an asshole, or I'm trying to feel special, but that's just how I feel.
It's also why I identify with being a starseed, as problematic as that may sound to some people, it resonates with me a lot. Idk if this is also just a part of being depressed or what. Also I feel uncomfortable in my own skin, and dread having to live in this human body, even though I'm still young, I can't imagine doing it for decades.
I've heard that a lot of neurodivergent or mentally ill people feel this way. That's why sites like wrongplanet exist, that's what it feels like, idk how to explain it. Always feel like I'm longing for home, or that I want to go home. I guess you can call it derealization, I just don't feel connected to the environments around me or my family. Not because I'm trying to be an asshole, or I'm trying to feel special, but that's just how I feel.
It's also why I identify with being a starseed, as problematic as that may sound to some people, it resonates with me a lot. Idk if this is also just a part of being depressed or what. Also I feel uncomfortable in my own skin, and dread having to live in this human body, even though I'm still young, I can't imagine doing it for decades.
