does anyone else wish they didn’t fail past attempts?

[Decayed]

i feel so pathetic like i couldn't even die properly i want nothing more than death but it always seems to escape me i was 13 when i first tried to kill myself and all i can think is that if i was successful i wouldn't have missed out on much and wouldn't have to suffer as much as i have. i wish i could go back to that moment and finish the job. each failed attempt just cements the idea of how pathetic and deserving of death i am in my mind.

 

[OhWellDerp321]

...Well... I don't think anyone wishes they failed any attempts....

 

[venting247]

Yep. Idk why it didn't work, I wish it had worked the first time

 

[SleepySept]

ive attempted a bunch of partial hangings, but my first "major" attempt I laid out ALL the perfect steps and had the perfect medication. But for some reason in the moment chose to skip out on an extra step that would've helped guaranteed it because I thought I had "done enough". Which would've been true if I didn't get treatment in time.

The following years were a lot of growing, and even though they were some of my strangest and maybe hardest years I don't regret experiencing them, but I can't help but feel like I would've rather died.