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LetMeGoPlease

Student
Dec 5, 2020
122
I hate what I look like. I want to be feminine and attractive, end of story. Living inside my body is torture. I want to claw myself out of it. I can't wait to lose this disgusting body.
 
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Transient

Transient

Disciple of Ixtab
Oct 16, 2024
3
I feel you. Ive been feeling the same for a long time, and I feel like every day its getting worse.
A few months back I could at least look at myself without any problems, now I avoid any kind of reflection of my face; mirrors, windows, glass, etc.
I feel a primal disgust whenever I see my own reflection, the same kind that I would feel looking at a rotting corpse. I freeze and I cringe, I cant accept that the person im seeing is "me".

I also wish I was more feminine, yet I am stuck with whatever this body is, so i think i can understand your pain.
I wish I could help in some way, but I am sadly still looking for some kind of "cure" or answer.

I just hope that whatever body we inherit later on (if there is any), will be more comfortable.
 
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PI3.14

PI3.14

π
Oct 4, 2024
58
Man try to post on Reddit how you feel depressed as a short man and see your post gets downvoted into oblivion, especially on dating related subs.

They will gaslight you by saying it's your personality or some shit. I'm 5'5 and I know my height makes me ugly and I hate the gaslighting there.

I'm not saying all women won't date my height, but the majority won't.

However, there are of course other things I need to work on like fixing my life and getting into a good career and achieving good physique.

That however won't change that my height isn't attractive.
 
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L

LetMeGoPlease

Student
Dec 5, 2020
122
I feel you. Ive been feeling the same for a long time, and I feel like every day its getting worse.
A few months back I could at least look at myself without any problems, now I avoid any kind of reflection of my face; mirrors, windows, glass, etc.
I feel a primal disgust whenever I see my own reflection, the same kind that I would feel looking at a rotting corpse. I freeze and I cringe, I cant accept that the person im seeing is "me".

I also wish I was more feminine, yet I am stuck with whatever this body is, so i think i can understand your pain.
I wish I could help in some way, but I am sadly still looking for some kind of "cure" or answer.

I just hope that whatever body we inherit later on (if there is any), will be more comfortable.
I also fear there might be more after this life and usully people sho believe in reincarnation say you'll just experience everything you haven't resolved again. But I also hope I'll have a body I'll feel comfortable in. Maybe I won't care about physical appearance.

When I see what my body and face look like or makes me want to die on the spot and I hate the whole world. It's so painful.
Man try to post on Reddit how you feel depressed as a short man and see your post gets downvoted into oblivion, especially on dating related subs.

They will gaslight you by saying it's your personality or some shit. I'm 5'5 and I know my height makes me ugly and I hate the gaslighting there.

I'm not saying all women won't date my height, but the majority won't.

However, there are of course other things I need to work on like fixing my life and getting into a good career and achieving good physique.

That however won't change that my height isn't attractive.
I hate that kind of gaslighting too. And I get how unmotivated appearance can make you. I don't feel like investing my energy into anything, not even into my appearance, because the things I want to change will never change. It's impossible, like height in your case, so I get it.
 
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Transient

Transient

Disciple of Ixtab
Oct 16, 2024
3
I also fear there might be more after this life and usully people sho believe in reincarnation say you'll just experience everything you haven't resolved again. But I also hope I'll have a body I'll feel comfortable in. Maybe I won't care about physical appearance.

When I see what my body and face look like or makes me want to die on the spot and I hate the whole world. It's so painful.
If there is some kind of reincarnation, i sure hope it is not like that. I prefer to think of it as a brand new life, completely disconnected from whatever you had before. Though it is only my personal belief, dont take this as me claiming it is the "truth".

But I really relate with how you said appearance can make you unmotivated. Every single person on this planet will judge others based on their appearance to some extend (as much as a lot of people will try to deny it). I feel like some sort of abomination walking down the street, people will always look at me the same way no matter what I do, so why bother ?

To me its all some kind of shitty poker game; you got trash cards, and theres no shame in just quitting before it gets worse. Yet the ones who try to reassure you are always the people who have the best cards in hand.
 
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L

LetMeGoPlease

Student
Dec 5, 2020
122
If there is some kind of reincarnation, i sure hope it is not like that. I prefer to think of it as a brand new life, completely disconnected from whatever you had before. Though it is only my personal belief, dont take this as me claiming it is the "truth".

But I really relate with how you said appearance can make you unmotivated. Every single person on this planet will judge others based on their appearance to some extend (as much as a lot of people will try to deny it). I feel like some sort of abomination walking down the street, people will always look at me the same way no matter what I do, so why bother ?

To me its all some kind of shitty poker game; you got trash cards, and theres no shame in just quitting before it gets worse. Yet the ones who try to reassure you are always the people who have the best cards in hand.
I'd love to believe the afterlife works like that too.

Yes exactly. I have so little energy because of this issue because everything I do feels like "what's the point".

The analogy with poker cards is so true. The people who have what you want or who don't want it are always the loudest and always say how you don't need it. It's so gaslighting.
 
G

greebo6

Enlightened
Sep 11, 2020
1,605
I am ugly and its part of my reasoning for ending my existence.
 
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