S

Scoobydont

Member
Feb 12, 2020
13
Some times, I feel like I can actually look ahead and see happy times, but in others, I feel hopeless, like I'm never gonna be who I wanna be and I'm just gonna be useless forever. My head jus kinda switches from one to the other randomly sometimes.

To clarify, I have gender dysphoria, so a lot of those thoughts revolve around transitioning and feeling like the real me will never reach the light of day. But I also imagine that most of other people get this sorta thing too.

 
  • Hugs
  • Like
Reactions: katyhere, Rome Horseman, bokete and 6 others
aiuto

aiuto

None
Jun 28, 2019
19
I feel this feeling sometimes too. I don't usually look up to the future at all, but sometimes I can catch myself dreaming of a good future. In those moments I feel unease and guilty like something is going to fuck everything up and get me to the same shitty mood I'm always in.

Have you noticed some kind of trigger that more easily can switch your mood and thoughts from positive to hopeless?
 
  • Like
Reactions: bigtasty, Pisceslilith, arposandra and 2 others
S

Scoobydont

Member
Feb 12, 2020
13
I feel this feeling sometimes too. I don't usually look up to the future at all, but sometimes I can catch myself dreaming of a good future. In those moments I feel unease and guilty like something is going to fuck everything up and get me to the same shitty mood I'm always in.

Have you noticed some kind of trigger that more easily can switch your mood and thoughts from positive to hopeless?
I think there are..
For me, it usually involves being too social, since I'm very introverted most of the time and, whilst I can enjoy company, i get sick of it. That then gets amplified because I'm not outta the closet and that jus hurts a whole lot more :c

Also, sometimes seeing other people happy and moving on life crushes me.. I just feel like I'll never be that happy ever
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: Nunyabinniss
dandan

dandan

One more attempt on life.
Feb 18, 2019
1,298
Sure, and that's the main reason I dont get rid of my N. Because I wouldn't tolerate to go back to have constant bad days forever and ever...

I dont have gender dysphoria, but my thought go around if I'll be able to feed myself if I lost my job, and not feeding myself , but would inbe able to live life with certain degree of economic comfort. It would be hell to be worst than when I was a young boy, nobody likes going backwards.
I hate to think I'm broken and some relationships have just fucked up.
Few days I'm great, but others negativity hits me, or what I call reality.
The conversation in my head creates the reality i live in. And the stories i tell myself, but i do know I'm not I'm 100% of control of these... or I've not learned how to control thought nor am I trying to do that, just trying to rewrite the stories in my head at the moment.

A girl just pushed me aside, with no explanation after few weeks dating....
I could go down, feel like shit, blame her....
Instead I send a last nice message and I dont need to say goodbye , I already met another girl, not as special as the last one but hey,
I'm learning new things
I can learn a lot from spending time with this girl. Tolerance, she has different culture even we are from the same country.
I'll be better with this girl cause this girl do likes me... I dont want to spend time with someone who dont
 
  • Like
Reactions: Scoobydont and Nunyabinniss
Nunyabinniss

Nunyabinniss

Member
Mar 23, 2019
77
Sometimes, but the moments are fleeting and my positivity isn't as high as I remember it feeling years and years ago. For the most part I'm just on a low baseline and deal with depression constantly. Sometimes I wish I was manic depressant said that there were times that I was feeling more up in active even If it was in an unhealthy way.
Sure, and that's the main reason I dont get rid of my N. Because I wouldn't tolerate to go back to have constant bad days forever and ever...

I dont have gender dysphoria, but my thought go around if I'll be able to feed myself if I lost my job, and not feeding myself , but would inbe able to live life with certain degree of economic comfort. It would be hell to be worst than when I was a young boy, nobody likes going backwards.
I hate to think I'm broken and some relationships have just fucked up.
Few days I'm great, but others negativity hits me, or what I call reality.
The conversation in my head creates the reality i live in. And the stories i tell myself, but i do know I'm not I'm 100% of control of these... or I've not learned how to control thought nor am I trying to do that, just trying to rewrite the stories in my head at the moment.


A girl just pushed me aside, with no explanation after few weeks dating....
I could go down, feel like shit, blame her....
Instead I send a last nice message and I dont need to say goodbye , I already met another girl, not as special as the last one but hey,
I'm learning new things
I can learn a lot from spending time with this girl. Tolerance, she has different culture even we are from the same country.
I'll be better with this girl cause this girl do likes me... I dont want to spend time with someone who dont
Keep on keeping on! Just remember that other people aren't the answer entirely and may not be able to make you feel better or feel "fixed". Just don't want you to get your hopes up, But I don't want to crush your sweet optimism! Hope all Is well. Oh hey what is your N? I'm curious about what you are talking about.
 
Last edited:
A

Anchors

Member
May 2, 2019
73
Yes I feel this. My life seems to cycle between periods of moderate tranquillity and intense dread and anxiety. Now it's hard to even appreciate the better times because I know they won't last, and soon enough I'll be back to feeling as crap as I do right now, because nothing ever actually changes.
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: ohhgeeitsme
Sensei

Sensei

剣道家
Nov 4, 2019
6,336
Some times, I feel like I can actually look ahead and see happy times, but in others, I feel hopeless, like I'm never gonna be who I wanna be and I'm just gonna be useless forever. My head jus kinda switches from one to the other randomly sometimes.

How often do you switch? Within minutes, hours, days, weeks, months? Can you see a pattern?
 
T

TimeToBiteTheDust

Visionary
Nov 7, 2019
2,322
Not my case. I feel hopeless all the time.
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: socrates
ShadowChild

ShadowChild

Any time now.
Jan 13, 2020
65
The positive feeling lasts up to about an hour for me a comes around every few months...
 
  • Like
Reactions: arposandra and Mr2005
Mr2005

Mr2005

Don't shoot the messenger, give me the gun
Sep 25, 2018
3,622
^
This. Been in such a dark place I was so relieved to see my girlfriend. That lasted about an hour before my problems caught up with me. I can't escape them, they follow me wherever I go. So I went to bed early ruining what's meant to be a special occasion
 
  • Hugs
  • Aww..
Reactions: ShadowChild, Defcon5 and ohhgeeitsme
ohhgeeitsme

ohhgeeitsme

Wizard
Feb 5, 2020
694
Yes. All the time. In the same day, I can feel pretty good and then within the hour, be too depressed to even watch TV. It's just rapid cycles all the time and is very exhausting.
Yes I feel this. My life seems to cycle between periods of moderate tranquillity and intense dread and anxiety. Now it's hard to even appreciate the better times because I know they won't last, and soon enough I'll be back to feeling as crap as I do right now, because nothing ever actually changes.
Same. Also, the older I get (I'm 33), the better times become shorter and less frequent.
 
Last edited:
E

escapefromabuse

Here's Tom with the weather
Jan 25, 2020
175
I have good days and bad days. Sometimes I dream of moving away and starting over. Other days I remember just how stuck I am and screwed my situation is.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Notcutoutforlife
P

Pallf

I'm tired
May 27, 2018
357
My mood changes from very happy to very depressed like a light switch. All it takes is for me to enjoy something and I'll have terrible memories pop up. I've just accepted this recently.
 
  • Like
Reactions: 𖣴 nadia 𖣴
SuicideBoys93

SuicideBoys93

I am the lord of loneliness.
Feb 10, 2020
324
I think it's honestly just me being on a high after being low for so long. When I'm up, I try to be productive because I know it'll eventually end. I've been researching a lot of natural things I can try to possibly try and level myself. I like to go to the gym, and notice days I don't go I'm really off. Days I go, I'm not amazing and all happy but I'm more level headed. So that makes me want to see if I can possibly add something on top of my workouts that might help. I figure it's worth a shot...
 
BPDbitch

BPDbitch

Experienced
Nov 10, 2019
248
I get this. I'm gonna blame my BPD for this one. Sometimes I rapid cycle so much that I'll be on top of the world one minute, then the next I'm suicidally depressed. Then in a few hours I'm really happy again. It's pretty tiring.
 
squirtsoda

squirtsoda

Fallen Eagle
Jan 19, 2020
324
Me too, but mine isn't so random. Bipolar II disorder. On the manic side I will latch on to something new and think it will make everything better, a new passion, a new purchase, get obsessive over something. Then life comes crashing down again and my self esteem goes back to normal, realizing how useless I am, etc. no future. That I have spent all my chances and I will never get another.
 
  • Love
Reactions: itsmeagain
D

decafe

Member
Feb 4, 2020
11
For me if something pleasant happens after the moment passes I get super guilty of the feeling and come back to my old negative thought self.
 
  • Wow
Reactions: Scoobydont
A

Ashtoash

Member
Feb 6, 2020
8
Isnt that what this matrix is about? You feel everything, once you feel happy, once you feel shitty, then you feel nothing and then you recognize you just have to LIVE, go on with the game and experience all kind of stuff... many of us want to believe that there is some 'good' way of thinking about the world, that there is some TRUTH which save us, because we would love to find some stable point in this experience and we are afraid of pain and death...
 
Dead beat dad

Dead beat dad

Enlightened
Mar 5, 2019
1,030
Some times, I feel like I can actually look ahead and see happy times, but in others, I feel hopeless, like I'm never gonna be who I wanna be and I'm just gonna be useless forever. My head jus kinda switches from one to the other randomly sometimes.

To clarify, I have gender dysphoria, so a lot of those thoughts revolve around transitioning and feeling like the real me will never reach the light of day. But I also imagine that most of other people get this sorta thing too.
I feel this friend. Deeply. I'm sure many of us do.
It amazes me how I'm still alive. I feel like one of those guys the doctors gave 6 months to live but 'against the odds' a decade later I'm still here.
The whole tired of living but scared of dying status is like my damn shadow, I will ever be rid of it.
Both in mind and body; weak, selfish and overflowing with undignified self-loathing, I have those flashes of light that bring the best in my so called humanity... Just briefly before the old familiar gut punch of depression lays in to you like a school bully who said he'd leave you alone today... 'SIKE!'
I pray daily for peace but the reality is I'm just too tired of it all to do anything about it. I'm in love with my own self-made misery and I revel in it.
We are suffering and I am so so sorry for the the world and what it does to people.
DBD
 
  • Like
Reactions: aiuto and Scoobydont
S

Scoobydont

Member
Feb 12, 2020
13
I feel this friend. Deeply. I'm sure many of us do.
It amazes me how I'm still alive. I feel like one of those guys the doctors gave 6 months to live but 'against the odds' a decade later I'm still here.
The whole tired of living but scared of dying status is like my damn shadow, I will ever be rid of it.
Both in mind and body; weak, selfish and overflowing with undignified self-loathing, I have those flashes of light that bring the best in my so called humanity... Just briefly before the old familiar gut punch of depression lays in to you like a school bully who said he'd leave you alone today... 'SIKE!'
I pray daily for peace but the reality is I'm just too tired of it all to do anything about it. I'm in love with my own self-made misery and I revel in it.
We are suffering and I am so so sorry for the the world and what it does to people.
DBD
DBD? Dead by daylight?

Fr tho, I feel exactly the same
I sometimes feel like a pig rolling around in mud, the "mud" being all the shit that goes on in my fucked brain.
Although it sucks, I feel like there's comfort in embracing it sometimes, and it makes me feel less alone knowing that there are others that feel like crap too (bless u all)
 
  • Like
Reactions: Dead beat dad
Dead beat dad

Dead beat dad

Enlightened
Mar 5, 2019
1,030
DBD? Dead by daylight?

Fr tho, I feel exactly the same
I sometimes feel like a pig rolling around in mud, the "mud" being all the shit that goes on in my fucked brain.
Although it sucks, I feel like there's comfort in embracing it sometimes, and it makes me feel less alone knowing that there are others that feel like crap too (bless u all)
There is so much hate and sadness in this world, I still have faith that love can triumph. Maybe we can all be kinder to the world and ourselves.
DBD (Dead Beat Dad)
 
  • Like
Reactions: Scoobydont
S

Scoobydont

Member
Feb 12, 2020
13
There is so much hate and sadness in this world, I still have faith that love can triumph. Maybe we can all be kinder to the world and ourselves.
DBD (Dead Beat Dad)
Very wholesome, wise words DBD
A lot of things don't make sense in the world, the amount of times I've been left asking "why?" at this world's twisted realities is spectacular in a bad way.
 
sangfroid

sangfroid

A voice heard long ago
Feb 1, 2020
28
For me if something pleasant happens after the moment passes I get super guilty of the feeling and come back to my old negative thought self.

Same here. It's quite rare but when something good does happen it doesn't take much to completely destroy it and I end up feeling terrible about it.
 
  • Like
Reactions: 𖣴 nadia 𖣴, squirtsoda and escapefromabuse
Hibernation

Hibernation

Nervous
Feb 21, 2020
7
Yes I find it changes day by day. It happened last week at work I just stood there as everybody went about there jobs laughing and talking. I've never felt more out of it and alone. I'm always surrounded by people but feel so empty just like I didn't belong there. It doesn't help I work next to a beach and everyday just think I want to walk out of here and straight into the sea.
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: sangfroid

Similar threads

coolgal82
Replies
3
Views
221
Suicide Discussion
coolgal82
coolgal82
M
Replies
1
Views
167
Recovery
JustAnx
J
L
Replies
8
Views
471
Suicide Discussion
wren-briar
W