Discussion Does anyone else suffer from chronic illness?

[fallentopieces]

Does anyone else suffer from a chronic illness that is their main reason for wanting to ctb??

Chronic illness has ruined my life and is most definitely the main reason I want to go.

 

[tiredofchronicpain]

Care to explain? Yes, I suffer chronic pain. Along the same line.

 

[Northerngirl1965]

Does anyone else suffer from a chronic illness that is their main reason for wanting to ctb??

Chronic illness has ruined my life and is most definitely the main reason I want to go.

I'm chronically suffering from anxiety that is incapacitating and makes me on edge...

 

[Xerox]

Well, I consider mental illnesses chronic. In addition, I suffer with chronic pain which has exacerbated the mental illnesses. Life is pain.

 

[lshode55]

I suffer from severe debilitating migraines, fibromyalgia and endometriosis.Pain is my driving force.

 

[JustAboutDone]

I suffer from severe debilitating migraines, fibromyalgia and endometriosis.Pain is my driving force.

That's so sad to be suffering so much in physical pain :-( Do you have good support from your primary care doctor? Xx

 

[21Neberg]

I don't, which is one of the reasons why I consider myself to be quite lucky. I shouldn't be on here with all of you, I don't have real problems. I'm a fake.

 

[Bread]

CFS is one of the main reasons my life went down the toilet...not that I wasn't capable of doing that myself though. I am finally starting to recover, but at this point I've been sick for so long that I don't know how to survive in the outside world. Also even if I'm able to return to physical health, I still have chronic major depression, so I feel there's nothing for me to return to. Whether or not I got sick in the first place, and whether or not I end up recovering, I'm probably going to die either way.

 

[Xerox]

I don't, which is one of the reasons why I consider myself to be quite lucky. I shouldn't be on here with all of you, I don't have real problems. I'm a fake.

We all feel pain differently, in different ways. You aren't a fraud.

 

[lshode55]

That's so sad to be suffering so much in physical pain :-( Do you have good support from your primary care doctor? Xx

The saddest part of this all is that I am studying to become a doctor but I digress. I haven't had a good primary care doctor honestly. Ive just seen so many specialists and after a while they just get tired of me and think the pain is in my head or something.

 

[lshode55]

CFS is one of the main reasons my life went down the toilet...not that I wasn't capable of doing that myself though. I am finally starting to recover, but at this point I've been sick for so long that I don't know how to survive in the outside world. Also even if I'm able to return to physical health, I still have chronic major depression, so I feel there's nothing for me to return to. Whether or not I got sick in the first place, and whether or not I end up recovering, I'm probably going to die either way.

I am so glad you are finally starting to recover. Take it one step and day at a time.

 

[Bread]

I don't, which is one of the reasons why I consider myself to be quite lucky. I shouldn't be on here with all of you, I don't have real problems. I'm a fake.

Hey. I sympathize with you. For years before I got sick I felt like I didn't have any reason for wanting to die. I felt like a fraud because nothing was really wrong with my life. Then I got sick, and people that had previously ignored my pain started to validate that I was "suffering" despite the fact that I had been suffering all along. It was disgusting and it only made me hate them more. Now that I'm recovering I've started to feel like a fraud again. My disease doesn't have a high rate of recovery, I'm very "lucky", I should be happy, right? Unfortunately, I'm not, and it only gets worse the more time goes on.

I think the answer is that some people just have a tremendous amount of pain inside them. The cause might not be clear or known, but the suffering is no less valid. Even if you can't point to anything "wrong" with your life, I still believe you are suffering. Though it makes me very sad for someone to end up on this forum, I think you probably belong here as much as anyone else, as long as you believe that you do.

I hope that you will eventually obtain relief one way or another. I hope that we all will.

 

[JustAboutDone]

The saddest part of this all is that I am studying to become a doctor but I digress. I haven't had a good primary care doctor honestly. Ive just seen so many specialists and after a while they just get tired of me and think the pain is in my head or something.

That's so bad, I'm sorry you are not having the treatment and respect you need. It's such a shame not to have a decent primary care doctor - I don't know if you are in the UK - are you able to change to see a different one at all? Some doctors are good are finding medications that can be used 'off-label' for chronic pain and are helpful to experiment with you. It's so cruel to have to live daily in pain - without having to deal with unsympathetic specialists as well xx

 

[JustAboutDone]

I don't, which is one of the reasons why I consider myself to be quite lucky. I shouldn't be on here with all of you, I don't have real problems. I'm a fake.

@21Neberg don't ever call yourself a 'fake' - your problems and pain are as real as anyone else's. Whether you are dealing with mental or physical dis-ability there isn't a comparison chart. No one but you experiences the pain in your head and heart that you do every day and it's the same for everyone else here. Suffering is universal, yet unique. The only thing that can make things slightly more bearable is if people have kind doctors and access to decent medical treatment. X

 

[Letmego. Please]

I don't, which is one of the reasons why I consider myself to be quite lucky. I shouldn't be on here with all of you, I don't have real problems. I'm a fake.

No you are not. Ok

The extra check in that we have is relativity easy to talk about, but you could have many things that hurt you way more that aren't anywhere near as 'simple to talk about to complete strangers or perversely not as 'socially acceptable'

So no, just no. What is in my head & my heart was broken long before my body, and it is the mental pain thats killing me, for everything else i have opiates & similar head wonking type meds to take my mind of it.

 

[Susannah]

The saddest part of this all is that I am studying to become a doctor but I digress. I haven't had a good primary care doctor honestly. Ive just seen so many specialists and after a while they just get tired of me and think the pain is in my head or something.

Everything is in our heads. Pain is difficult to measure, and when you're in pain for a long period (more than 3 months), something happens in your nervous system, and you're at high risk to develop chronic pain syndrome (CPS). This doesn't mean you're imagining pain! I was in an accident, crushed both arms and had to replace one arm. Worse pain I've ever experienced, and even though I'm much better now, 3y later, I still struggle and use painkillers everyday. Doctors/health system here in Norway suck, unless you have money or even better, contacts.

 

[3cookies]

Yes I am plagued by chronic illnesses. I have CRPS which is the most painful disease in the world- comparable to having a finger amputated without anesthesia. I have fibromyalgia, dystonia, seizures just to name a few of my diagnoses. My life is complete misery. I'm basically bedbound. I have zero quality of life.

 

[SeekingSolace]

I'm 31 and I suffer from anxiety, depression, and seizures. I had another seizure this morning and woke up covered in vomit and bruises. My emotional state is constantly unstable and I wish I had more nerve to end it. I don't know why my fear of pain is so great when I experience chronic emotional and physical pain on a daily basis.

A little pain for a little relief. It'll be quite some time before I get up the nerve to make a solid plan. Makes me feel weak. Thanks for listening.

 

[Kyrok]

Scoliosis among a number of other conditions. No longer able to fulfill all my work obligations due to the pain. I'm in bed most days from 3pm-8am now.

 

[SirChuxAlot]

I do. I suffer from Severe Ulcerative Pancolitis. Unfortunately, no medication currently works to control the issue and when it does, they want to try something else.
It isn't the only reason I would like to CTB but it has played a large role in my depression, such as wanting to join the Military. I ended up losing 350lbs just to get in and even did the ASVAB, tried finding ways to sneak in past it but as told by others, it isn't worth the charge, they WILL find out.
I am now 30, so joining is a no no now even if I wanted to. Too old. I played on alot of faith I would get in and was even promised an easy get through. My entire dream and only dream, crushed in the dirt only to question what else I want to do in life.
I can't help but continue to think that maybe it is simply too late and to CTB sooner since my Pancolitis will only worsen as years progress.

 

[Tomey]

I do, chronic pain , zero quality of life.

 

[NoChoice]

I would imagine brain damage falls under this category, so yes. It is the one and only reason, a huge one albeit, for my intense and forced desire to ctb. I had everything going for me and was only at the beginning of my life, I'm disgusted and in denial every second of my life as I suffer in a shell of what I used to be, with literally 0% chance of ever recovering or healing to my old self.

 

[Tomey]

I would imagine brain damage falls under this category, so yes. It is the one and only reason, a huge one albeit, for my intense and forced desire to ctb. I had everything going for me and was only at the beginning of my life, I'm disgusted and in denial every second of my life as I suffer in a shell of what I used to be, with literally 0% chance of ever recovering or healing to my old self.

Exactly how i feel , i don't even have chance to recover to 30 percent of my old self.
And everyone tells me learn to live with it, very easy to say when you are healthy.
I want to live not just to breathed...

 

[tiredofchronicpain]

I don't, which is one of the reasons why I consider myself to be quite lucky. I shouldn't be on here with all of you, I don't have real problems. I'm a fake.

To respect the rules of this site, I will pm some of you.

 

[Northerngirl1965]

It is not that you are fake. The problem with lumping chronic pain with clinical depression falls into a Doyle's fallacy.
Depression have many faces. There are depressed people who are depressed about life; and there are those depressed about situations they are in, like myself which result in logical reasons for feeling miserable.

The issue that makes chronic pain much more serious is that one with such pain conditions want to live. It also causes clinical depression. So society should focus more on treating pain and the causes instead of just saying "oh, he is depressed, that is a mental illness". I particulalry hate that we are being swept under the "mentally ill" brush. The propter hoc ergo hoc propter argument defies that just because Icarus jumped of a cliff, didn't make. For this same reason, it does not make all depressed individuals mentally ill by default. Many of us want to live but we aren't able to, given circumstances beyond our control.

Mine is psychotropic drugs, issues from childhood and depression from both

 

[tiredofchronicpain]

Let me ask this: for all of you with chronic extreme physical pain where you have shooting pains and feelings of wanting to pass out, which is worse: "feeling blue, depressed", or being in physical pain like Trigeminal Neuralgia, Fibromyalgia, facial pain, etc.

I am really curious.

 

[tiredofchronicpain]

Can you actually pass out from depression? Can it be that intense? I am curious.

 

[tiredofchronicpain]

That's so sad to be suffering so much in physical pain :-( Do you have good support from your primary care doctor? Xx

There is no doctor. I am in South Africa. No medical scheme because no job. Meditation can't help, and pro-life advice sucks because they mistake me for "mentally ill" which I am not. I see value in life. I don't want to be sick.

 

[Northerngirl1965]

Can you actually pass out from depression? Can it be that intense? I am curious.

I am just numb, no motivation, no focus. Havent left the house in weeks. Horrible

 

[tiredofchronicpain]

I'm 31 and I suffer from anxiety, depression, and seizures. I had another seizure this morning and woke up covered in vomit and bruises. My emotional state is constantly unstable and I wish I had more nerve to end it. I don't know why my fear of pain is so great when I experience chronic emotional and physical pain on a daily basis.

A little pain for a little relief. It'll be quite some time before I get up the nerve to make a solid plan. Makes me feel weak. Thanks for listening.

I am sorry you had to go through this. Seizures I would lump under the Trigeminal neurlagia intensity along with other extreme types of pain, one which I experience. I think you are like me, you actually WANT to be alive but the doors are locked because of your condition. This is extremely frustrating to a person like myself. Life has a lot to offer given the right tools.

I also feel extreme agony from the stigma around missing teeth. There is nothing noble about admitting you miss teeth, and it causes depression to such an intensity that one withdraws from the world totally because one feels as if one is not welcome in this "cosmetic" driven age, and white teeth crowds of today.

I truly wish I can have my health back, I think everyone in their right minds would admit health to be one of the biggest blessings one could have. The ability to rest all has to do with how "well" one is. People in pain like us physically can't sleep, because the intensity of pain is so horrifying that when I shut my eyes, I wake up from jolts through my face.