Yeah. It's beyond any reason at this stage. Whatever was driving me to hurt myself it has now become habit. I wish it was over. Even if I tried recovering now the damage is too much to try to live with
yeah.. but its never just cause..
seems that all i do even more now is self harm.
im in so much "pain".. its been flaring up more and more.. and its the only thing that makes any sence tbh..
its a feeling of a home.. something to rely on.
I've broken plotscraft bowls and plates over my head, cut myself several times with broken glass , boxcutters, knifes. neededed to be stitched up several times. I put cigarettes and cigars out on myself all over my body....what can I say? I like to bleed and I love pain. and I hate this disgusting monkey suit I am forced to wear.
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