Venting Does anyone else kinda hate human functions?

[Livingvsdying25]

Okk so I slept kinda? But very intense/vivid dreams and stuff so that was freaking annoying.
None of them were bad though and very interesting deep stories but alas didn't produce the most quality sleep.

So now its morning my brain is active and Im hungry

Like I don't wanna.eat I just wanna go back to sleep but nopeeee now I gotta get up warm up food let it cool, eat it and then watch something engaging so that my brain is occupied like

I don't mind being neurodivergent but damn my active ass brain!! I dont.always wanna eat and I hate how much I can struggle to sleep/how much of a struggle it is in general...

I think ima just have a cup noddles and some snacks... eat another CBN gummy and some CBD capsules and then hopefully shall get some more sleep....


If I could just turn my body/brain off that would be nice but I guess thats what I am seeking in death..

Kkkkk sighhhs getting up now to start the kettle. I just want a peaceful day today. Chillin at home. Watching whatever but truthfully just wanna sleep for the day. Still tryna just escape my mind and keep it easy going so that I'm not triggered or activated. I need spend some time calm if ima ctb kinda thing.

My daydreams have been of the future involving people in my life but that's dangerous thing bc I don't wanna delve into life again. Maybe im just being stubborn and there is a way for me to live this life I dunno anymore but its stressful to think about...

I dont wanna dip my toes back into life without having materials to die. I owe it to myself to be able to have a chance in both. Soo yee...


But with nitrogen gas(still needa read more about it) the storage is important so that worries me. I'd like to have a method and store it for a bit but with nitrogen I may just needa save my money for it kinda thing?

I dunnooooo ugh I don't wanna get up rn... but needa eat and watch something to put me to sleep.

Anyway sometimes bein a human sucks tbh

 

[Pidgeons_Sparrows]

yeah i think the human body is disgusting

 

[Praestat_Mori]

with nitrogen I may just needa save my money for it kinda thing?

I wish you a peaceful day! Well yes you just need to buy your setup incl. the N2 cylinder holding enough gas. I wish you all the best with your plans!

 

[FuneralCry]

I think that existing here in this world is such a terrible, unnecessary burden, I find it tiring simply just being conscious and aware trapped in the decaying flesh prison that is the human body. To exist means to be a slave to our suffering and our needs with no escape from ourselves, I certainly despise existing here and I see non-existence as being the only relief.

 

[sulli]

ya lol i've mentioned on here before how much i specifically hate when i'm comfy in bed or wake up in the middle of the night and just want to get back to sleep but Bam i have to get up and pee instead

 

[Livingvsdying25]

Lil update: it's like 15 mins till 1pm for me rn.


I ended up eating and sleeping for a bit.

I used to be able to just sleep through the day barly able to stay awake but I'm no longer in that hypersomnia space....

I just want to sleep all day. im sleepy right now but I feel like brushing my teeth.... really needa get those like finger teeth brushing things. I'm not having much mobility issues this week just feeling very unmotivated.

Lit another incense and going to watch a show on youtube that puts me to sleep. I'm super tired...


I just want to keep relaxing but I'm starting to get worried for those in my life. Should I check in... I dunno it's a lot of emotional stuff/feels. Very activating? But I should jus check in soon and be like.... I'm here/alive and taking a break to decide if I wanna stay alive? I dunno anymore. I'll probs decide later this evening. Gonna try to sleep more.

Sighhhss I'll just send a quick text later... or smthin but rn is relaxing time. So shall think about it later. I'm really not... wanting to live. Thinking of interacting with em feels like living in a way. But tryna be respectful and at least check in.


Dunno. Off to watch show now.

 

[The anhedonic one]

I feel ever so lucky to be born into a meat prison that needs feeding watering, and washing. It also pisses, shits, farts, belches, pukes and sweats.
Yeah I really love the flesh prison.
NOT.

 

[Leagueofgentlemen]

It's very tedious maintaining a body, I agree. Especially when you have to do the various hair removal sites, wash my hair as it gets greasy ridiculously quickly. I like eating though

 

[Livingvsdying25]

Late evening update:

I was able to get some sleep this afternoon and currently a bit sleepy. Burning a rose scented incense.

Im sooo in love with this brand. I wanna try out different scents from it. I've also tried their citronella one which is great too.

I went to check the mail hoping the 3DS that my friend is no longer using and sent to me had come. She mentioned it bc I've been personally wanting to get a game console and was thinking of getting a 3DS. Im soo glad she's no longer using it She said that she only found Pokémon games and omggg its so not "only" I LOVEEEE Pokémon games. They are literally my favorite and so addicting/really great to get deep into.

I haven't been this excited in awhile!!!! I'm hoping it comes tmrw!!! I can't wait to start playing. It'll be such a nice way to pass the time. I've tried playing games on my phone and it just isn't the same ya kno?

Plus again Pokémon is life and amazing....

But yee unfortunate it hasn't come yet so now im tryna get back to sleep. I didn't realize how excited for this I am

While still here on this earth I shall try to enjoy some things.



I might see about getting some bootleg games

Now I'm listening to podcasts and chillin my mood isn't that bad/def a lot better than earlier.

I've just eaten cup ramen & snacks today. But I'm again hungry might have to go through the process of plating food and warming it up which likeeee isn't the worse thing but I'm lazy I bet eating will help me sleep longer/through the night so ima just warm up some food now and get back to sleep.

It's easy/easier to ignore certain aspects of life to get by. Those rn for me are the interpersonal stuff. Though I feel less guilty bc at least I communicated an update with a few people. So, im just gonna enjoy my time relaxing. Im gonna feel less guilty about taking time away/try to.

Lil update: it's like 15 mins till 1pm for me rn.


I ended up eating and sleeping for a bit.

I used to be able to just sleep through the day barly able to stay awake but I'm no longer in that hypersomnia space....

I just want to sleep all day. im sleepy right now but I feel like brushing my teeth.... really needa get those like finger teeth brushing things. I'm not having much mobility issues this week just feeling very unmotivated.

Lit another incense and going to watch a show on youtube that puts me to sleep. I'm super tired...


I just want to keep relaxing but I'm starting to get worried for those in my life. Should I check in... I dunno it's a lot of emotional stuff/feels. Very activating? But I should jus check in soon and be like.... I'm here/alive and taking a break to decide if I wanna stay alive? I dunno anymore. I'll probs decide later this evening. Gonna try to sleep more.

Sighhhss I'll just send a quick text later... or smthin but rn is relaxing time. So shall think about it later. I'm really not... wanting to live. Thinking of interacting with em feels like living in a way. But tryna be respectful and at least check in.


Dunno. Off to watch show now.

 

[EternalShore]

Yeah, I despise eating. I've hated it for as long as I remember. It's just unpleasant and time consuming! :( Like there's worse things in the world (those reasons being why I want to CTB), but eating is pretty bad! >_< At least, it's kinda expected of humans tho~
Plus, having to tell people I don't like food also just worsens my social standing as a weirdo loser unfortunately. :(((

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I hate the human function of very early SI that make me hesitate to finally be free from all agony and suffering. I just hate it.

 

[Ambivalent1]

Yeah I hate going to the bathroom. No digestive system after death yay!

 

[Bastet]

I also hate pretty much every body function except for sleeping and dreaming, and drinking beer lol.